Being Selfish is My Mode of Operation From Now On....

I just left the hospital yesterday. I had a minor procedure done (lady stuff). I’m healing and resting. Although the circumstances weren’t favorable, I found the blessing in the storm. I know for sure that one of the purposes of these circumstances was for me to get some much needed rest. I’m currently being selfish, and it feels so good. For the first time in a while, my mind and body are still. And it only took me having to go to the hospital for that to happen. Wow.

I’ve been saying for the last few months that I needed some rest, but I wasn’t following through. After I resigned from my job in December, I wanted to hit the ground running with my freelance career. My mind was steady racing everyday about everything I needed to do. I feared that if I gave myself a break, I would miss a lucrative opportunity. I was doing my yoga in the morning and all the meditative stuff, but sometimes I would even rush that to get to my work. Subconsciously, I began to carry that familiar guilt on my shoulders that almost every black woman bears - the guilt that we must be superwoman to every problem and everyone except our needs and ourselves. I don’t know how I began to feed into this notion because I try my best not to subscribe to that “black women should be strong all the time and keep going no matter what” crap, but there I was…lying in the hospital bed (enjoying the silence and hospitality might I add) and thinking, “Yup Sam, God had to sit you down so that you can understand that it’s time for you to become a little more selfish.” I heard God, and I’m taking heed.

“Taking care of yourself is taking care of others.” My 96-year-old grandmother uttered those words to me out of the blue this past summer while I was sitting on her plastic-covered couch, squinting at her 32-inch television. I now feel those words deep in my soul. I love to work and will continue to grind…but at my own pace. Wealth to me is good health, a flexible schedule, and peace. I’m giving myself permission to ignore calls and delay responses to emails and messages when I need to. I will extend myself even more grace and will allow myself to take whatever I need to off my plate to remain sane. I will feel the strength and confidence (instead of weakness) in saying “I won’t be able to do that right now…or never.” I will have however many lazy moments I need. I will take the time to sit and read a book without thinking about what else needs to be done. I will give myself a moment (if not more) out of each day to be selfish, and I will not beat myself up about it. This is my creed, and I will refer back to this post when I need to. Peace and blessings, y’all.

Selfishly,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Vintage Leather Coat // Heels (Steve Madden, old) // Skirt (Free People, old) // Top (Zara, old) // Sunglasses (vintage hand-me-downs)

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Recognizing My Power...

It’s January 7th, 2021 at 11:39 a.m. I’m writing this blog post from the comfort of my kitchen table. As I sip my water and nosh on my King Cake, I’m in a state of calmness. Ironically, Nas’ classic song, The World is Yours, is seeping through my Bluetooth speaker. I chuckle. His words match my sentiments. I’m reveling in the fact that there’s an apparent shift happening in the universe, and I’m 100% positive that I am on the right side of that shift.

Of course the buffoonery that was displayed yesterday at the U.S. Capitol showed us what we already knew…white privilege is alive and well. But through all the pandemonium, my understanding of just how powerful my people are became even more apparent. Those terrorists where not only acting out of stupidity, they were acting out of cowardice. They are scared. They are scared that the nation they worked so hard to steer in their direction is slipping right from under their weak palms. They are scared that more of us finally woke up, and that the power we as black people showed in this last presidential election and in Georgia will be exercised from here on out. Although yesterday wasn’t a laughing matter, I couldn’t help but smile. I smiled because my power is so persuasive, my voice is so resounding, my vote is so critical, it brings the demonic spirit out of suckers, it rallies the positive activists, it puts officials in and out of government seats, it changes the political trajectory of racist states, and it gives hope to future generations. With this much power, there is no need for me to wait for life to go in my direction. I can get what I want, when I want it, how I want it. I come from brilliant people, and with the technology and resources I have at my finger tips - I should be doing it bigger and better than they did. All I have to do is tap into the power that lives right in my spirit, and I will.

Recognize the power you have, and use it wisely. Continue to flourish, continue to heal, continue to use your talents for your benefit and then for the greater good of our community. It’s our time y’all….let’s make our foremothers and forefathers proud.

Walking in my power,

- Samjah Iman

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Outfit Details: Floral Turtle Neck // Wide Leg Pants // Purse

This Is My Life Homie, You Decide Yours...

Do you know how it feels to hold your stomach in for a long period of time?  It’s difficult and uncomfortable, right?  At any moment you feel like you could pop or explode.  You desire deeply to exhale and let it all hang out, but you’re afraid of the judgment that comes with someone seeing the real you.  So now you’re walking around the world, holding yourself in, pretending to be something you’re not, just so you can live up to an image of perfection that doesn’t exist.  Sounds stupid, huh?  It does…but it happens - and how it feels to hold your stomach in for long periods of time is how I feel when I’m living my life for someone else other than myself.  I feel like I can’t breathe properly…like at any minute, I will pop - and I did.       

Not too long ago I did a quick overview of my life and asked myself what percentage of my life was my idea, and what percentage of my life was other people’s ideas.  I didn’t like the results.  I thought about how many decisions I made because I thought it would look good to my family or because I thought it would coincide with the image everyone had of me in their heads.  I didn’t like the results of those thoughts either.  I also thought about how pissed I would be if I created a life that others thought I should create only to become resentful that I didn’t create the life I wanted to create.  After sitting with those thoughts for a second, I wrote this declaration in my journal…“to hell with who they think I am or what they think I should do, because the only person who has to pay for my decisions is me.  Therefore, my opinion should be the only one that counts.”

For as long as I can remember I’ve been combating and/or feeding into people’s perception of me.  I remember in high school I desperately wanted to play basketball as a freshman (and I did), but my brother’s then-girlfriend thought I looked more like a cheerleader so she persuaded me to try out for the squad.  I remember only dating a certain type of guy for a long time because those were the types of guys people thought I should be with.  I remember my college advisor trying her hardest to get me to join a sorority because I fit their aesthetic, but deep down I knew that wasn’t my vibe.  It’s hard to stay true to yourself in a world that doesn’t encourage and celebrate authenticity.  And even though staying true to yourself is not popular, it’s a major key to liberation.  Because if you let others dictate your life, you don’t truly own it.       

“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.”

— Audre Lorde

You know that feeling of relief you get when you finally unbutton some snug pants you’ve been wearing all day, or that feeling you get when you stop tensing up and you relax all your muscles then exhale with your entire body?  That’s the feeling I experienced when I finally stop holding the real me in.  And from that day forward I vowed not to create another façade in order to be accepted.  I also vowed to let it all hang out, no matter the judgment that followed.  Because being my true self feeds my soul, being someone I’m not takes away from it.

Life is short so I may as well please the person I’m with all the time….and that’s me.

My life - my way,

- Samjah Iman

P.S. - Hey my people! If you get a chance, check me out in this Hello Beautiful article. I’m honored!!! Talk to you all soon! xoxo  

Outfit Details: Graphic Tee (coming soon here) // Joggers (old Forever 21), Nike Sacai Tennis

I No Longer Wear a Mask

I couldn’t stand my mask. Every chance I got to take it off, I was beyond relieved.  I felt free, unrestricted – like I could let it all hang out.  It was hard to express myself with a covering.  I was just going through the motions like the rest of the world; covering up for fear of being exposed or exposing.  When I had the mask
on, I often hoped someone could see the real me through my eyes.  Then maybe they would become intrigued enough to ask for more of me.  Sometimes, when no one was looking (usually in my own privacy or around family), I’d pull the mask down to show my own self a little more of me.  I missed the real me when the mask was on, and I needed to make sure I was still there. I was.  Behind that mask every bit of me was still intact – waiting to be freed.  I came alive when that mask was off.  I smiled harder, asked millions of questions, made funny faces, did goofy impressions.  I even frowned here and there.  Halfway through my sans-mask theatrics, I would begin to dread going back out into the real world because I knew I had to pull the mask back up in fear of judgment. 

One day I got bold.  I had enough of hiding.  I decided to show my entire face.  On that day I did not
give two damns about who saw me, who whispered about me, or even who stopped being my friend.  I wanted to feel at home in my soul.  I wanted to be who God intended me to be.  So, I did just that.  I ripped that mask off and came alive.  And you better believe I was all of Sam and then some.  I took the light I was given and flashed it every chance I got.  And from that day forth, I never put that mask on again.  It did not matter what the world was doing or what I would lose.  I was only concerned about feeding the joy inside of me and what I would gain from doing so. 

“Working pleasing me, cause I can’t please you, and that’s why I do what I do. ”

— Erykah Badu

If you haven’t caught on just yet, I’m not talking about the mask I wear to block Covid and protect others from my germs (I wear that mask faithfully, okay?!).  I’m talking about the mask I wore years before Covid.  The one I used to wear to disguise my true self so that others would feel comfortable.  I grew up surrounded by a culture that did not praise people for being who they were meant to be.  In my school environment, the more you flaunted your true self – the more your peers envied you. They loved for you to wear a mask because they wore one so naturally themselves.  Back then I did not know their hate had everything to do with them and nothing to do with me.  I was a typical teenager who was finding herself but at the same time wanting to make friends with everyone.  I quickly learned that one of those two things had to go.  Either I was going to shine the light God granted me or dim it to try and fit in.  After many trials and errors (even some current relapses here and there), I concluded that having only a select, few friends is enough; however, shinning my light and not wearing a mask is nonnegotiable.  Those two things are essential for me to breathe. 

“I was always too concerned about what everybody would think. But I can’t live for everybody. I got to live my life for me. ”

— India Arie

Every now and then I find myself reverting to that junior high girl who wanted everyone to like her.  Then I check myself.  I remember my purpose.  I recall that taking off my mask and being who I’m truly meant to be not only feeds my soul, it also gives that next girl, boy, woman, or man permission to pull that mask down and show us their full face.  Me sprinkling my spicy Sam dust on the world gives it that kick it needs.  Because if we all put the same flavor in this world, how dull would it be?  Give the world the real you, someone needs to see it to be the real them.        

Keep your Covid masks on my babies, take the invisible ones off though.

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Thou Shalt Tee // Shorts (Homemade) // Mules (sold out) // Hat

Photographer: Welch Inc Photography

Quarantine Confession...

I have a confession. I think I may have played a part in conjuring up this crisis we are currently in *nervously bites nails*. I know, I know….I apologize! You see…I’m working on this manifestation thing, and I’m still learning how to be precise with the universe. But just hear me out before you plot my demise, okay?

About a month ago I was over everything that drained my energy. Men were getting on my last nerve, and the world was too loud for my central system. So I cried out to the universe (God), Mary, Joseph, Peter, friends, strangers, the trees, my ancestors, and whoever would listen and asked for a break. I repeatedly said I needed a break from men and the world. I said it so much that it was all I thought about. The next thing I knew the world started shutting down, and everyone was forced to watch the pandemonium unfold behind their sanitized doors. At first I didn’t connect my wishes to what was going on, but a question from a friend made me realize that my plead had been heard.

In an effort to look at the bright side of our current crisis, my friend decided to ask her social media followers what positive things were happening as a result of being quarantined. She stated that she had finally met her neighbor after being in her house for quite some time. Another person stated that they were able to spend more time with their kid. I’m an introvert so it didn’t take me long to come up with several positive things that have transpired during my quarantine. Hell, I self-quarantine every chance I get when the world is normal. But I decided to think beyond the surface before I answered the question….and it came to me. This quarantine gave me the break I had been manifesting since January.

I’ve been vowing to slow down since 2019, but every time I turned around something or someone was in my face. Being that I get my energy from solitude and there was no solitude happening in my world, I was internally drowning. I didn’t have time to sort things out or to make the best decisions because I felt overwhelmed. Creating was pushed to the back burner and dating even became a burden. I wanted a timeout so bad that I confessed to a gentleman, while sitting across from him on a date, that I needed a break from him and any species that resembled him. I was meeting this person over here, going to several events, taking a picture in between, and responding to requests, emails, texts, calls, and inquiries on top of all those things. IT WAS ABSOLUTELY TOO MUCH! So slowly I began to clear my schedule, but I wasn’t doing the best job at it; therefore, I asked for help. And boy did I get it!!

Although the reason behind this quarantine truly sucks, I can’t help but express my sincere gratitude for it. Not only am I completing a lot of tasks, I’m also getting that much-needed time to sort through some thoughts and feelings. My mindset is shifting. I’m relearning some things. I’m having essential, detailed conversations and enjoying the process of gradual maturation. When this is all said and done, I think I’m going to have an interesting story to share. Stay tuned y’all.

Quarantining and Smiling,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Relationship Pending Tee // Flare Pants

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

What I'm No Longer Praying For in the Midst of Chaos…

I remember being trapped in a horrible job situation or at a low point in life and feverishly praying for things to get better quickly, and all I got in return was the same situation…day after day. Of course we don’t get everything we pray for, for a reason, but that doesn’t stop the disappointment or frustration that comes with the wait. When going through burdensome times, I would often ask religious people how to pray, and some would tell me I had to constantly ask God for what I wanted. Others would advise me to tell God what I desired once, and patiently wait for the results. I tried both ways…..and I still felt out of alignment with prayer.

I believe that everything happens in due time, but the prayer situation still boggles my mind from time to time. So in an effort to ease some of my confusion, I talked to my mother about my concerns. She expressed that she had been having the same questions herself. She told me that she could remember as a youngster praying every single night, pleading with God to end the Vietnam War. Her prayers were eventually answered, 10 YEARS LATER.

I am an extremely spiritual person, and I wholeheartedly believe in the power of prayer. I also believe God gave us the tools we need to bring forth what we desire; hence manifestation. But when someone is going through tough times, they don’t want to wait 10 years, 10 months, or even 10 minutes for their prayers to be answered. So after praying for some of the same things every single night without results, I felt the need to shift my prayer perspective. I’d been feeling this way for a while, and because I was ready to receive some guidance on this matter….it came.

During one of my usual Sunday morning rituals, I was searching for some teachings on YouTube when I ran across a TD Jakes’ sermon. I can’t remember what the entire sermon was about, but he definitely said some words that gave me the insight I was seeking. He spoke about Noah’s ark and how it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. He related that to the current struggles people go through and how they wait everyday to be released from them. And his advice for that was, “get comfortable and ride it out.” It was a “duh Sam!” moment for me. Jakes was basically saying, instead of constantly agonizing over your situation - just roll with it until it shifts. Of course it’s not that simple to do when you’re experiencing hardship, but it’s the best thing you can do at the moment because you’re in the storm for a reason. And if you endure, you will come out greater than you were before you went in. But you have to go through the process to get to the other side - no matter how long it takes. And if you abort the process too early, you may not reach your full potential. TD Jakes’ words reminded me of a line I read in The TAO of WU (thanks for the book recommendation Chris!). In that book, Rza (founding Wu-tang member) said that through experience he learned to trust chaos and confusion instead of judging it, fearing it, or trying to reach an immediate solution. He said that this was not only his secret to production, it’s also the secret to life. After listening to Jakes and reflecting on Rza’s words, everything began to make sense. Instead of trying to pray my way out of storms, I will accept what is, ride it out, and stay in alignment. Because the last thing I want to do is disrupt any incubation process that I am supposed to undergo in order to reach the next step of wisdom or blessings. I will no longer pray for storms to end, things to begin, or things to turn around. I will visualize the outcome I want, stay fixated on that vision, ask God to keep me in alignment, change my perspective, and bless me with the strength to hang in there until my shift comes. Remember, when you grapple with something it rebels, when you leave it alone it flows.

Both the beauty and scary part of life is that we don’t know what it will bring. However, what we do know is positive things will happen as will chaos. My prayer for you all and myself is that more positive shows up in our lives than chaos. And when the chaos comes, I pray that we trust it and view it as a breeding process necessary for our growth. May God grant us the endurance we need to ride these waves until calmer waters come.

Wave surfing,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Vintage Blazer // Jeans // Heels (old, similar here) // Purse (my mother’s closet)

Photography Credit: 87 Photography 

Life Update: I Got To Step Back and Realign

Hold on….can we do the whole new year countdown thing again? I wasn’t ready!! I still have to meditate on my 2020 visions, clear my mind, get my Jeep washed (didn’t get a chance to do that but once in 2019- JUDGE NOT!), and clean out my closet! I mean….I knew the new year was on its way, and I was preparing for it and all. But I didn’t think it would appear four hours (yes I’m exaggerating) after I made the preparations!

Listen. January 2020 came on the scene like the Fugees - “ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide….gonna fiiiiiinnnnnnd you….” And find me it did, but I wasn’t trying to be discovered just yet. I’ve been running over here, jumping through there, and sliding everywhere else. I haven’t had the chance to just sit on the couch and gather my thoughts for the new year. I know what the deal is though. My 2019 has kind of spilled over into my 2020, and it’s no one’s fault but my own. You see, last year I was handing out a lot of yeses to everyone else and not enough to me. I realized I was operating from a scarcity mindset; therefore, I would take on extra tasks/jobs because I constantly told myself that I needed the money. And as a result, I was ripping and running and always doing something when I should have been focusing on aligning myself with my dreams and desires, having faith that what I need will appear (like it always does), then releasing control and letting my higher self intervene.

I’m constantly living and learning though, and this year I vowed to act on what I learn. So I’m going to first clean up these 2019 residuals then honor that vow. I’m stepping back and realigning myself with an abundant vibe. I’m no longer operating from the “I need money” standpoint. I will bask in the “I have exactly what I need and there’s no need for me to do the most” energy. Taking on too many tasks crowds my mind and doesn’t give me the space I need to dream, create, and hear my own thoughts. It also leaves me feeling rushed and unaccomplished.

I think about how even through the difficult phases in my life, I’ve always been taken care of. There’s not a time I’ve been without the essentials. But somehow I let a tiny bit of societal propaganda get in my head, and I started turning up only to be burnt out. This year I’m aware of what I need to be open to and what I need to pass on. I’m moving more strategically and getting back to dreaming. I will no longer focus on the things I need and don’t have, instead - I will operate in an abundant space and channel my energy toward the blessings that surround me daily. And after doing all of that, I will then sit back and marvel at how things will begin to fall right in place.

“Needing nothing attracts everything. ”

— Russell Simmons

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Crop Mock Sweater (Old similar here) // Midi Sweater Skirt (available in stores only at Zara ) // Red Wide Brim Hat

Picture Credit: 87 Photography

I Asked 25 People What They're Saying No To in 2020. Here Are Their Responses...

I learn something from every person I encounter. I’m intrigued by getting into people’s minds and listening to their perspectives on life because it expands my understanding. So I decided to randomly ask 25 people (male and female, minorities and majorities) what they planned on saying NO to in 2020 (and of course I included my response in the bunch). I wasn’t seeking any new year’s resolutions from my subjects. Instead, my goal was to see what they plan to disassociate themselves from as a result of their 2019 experiences. I didn’t give them a topic nor did I tell most of them their responses would be on my blog. I just popped the question during casual conversation, and you better believe the answers were not only organic - but interesting to say the least.

I know what some of you may be thinking - why focus on what you’re going to say no to instead of what you are going to say yes to? I get it. But isn’t saying no to some things kind of the same as saying yes to some things? For example, if I vow to say no to processed sugar for 2020, doesn’t that actually mean I’m saying yes to a somewhat healthier way of eating? Yup, it does. So put your positive police badge down for a second and get into these very entertaining and insightful responses below. You may be inspired to incorporate some of these answers in your 2020 journey.

“What will you be saying NO to in 2020?”

S.J - “I’m saying no to procrastination.”

M.B. - “Settling.”

J.J. - “A circle that’s not beneficial.”

M.M. - “Fuckery!”

B.R. - “I’m saying no to people who steal my good energy.”

T.G. - “I’m saying no to spam emails…..hitting that unsubscribe button with the quickness!”

K..L. - “I’m saying no to yesterday.”

M.S. - “I ain’t saying no to nothing unless it’s something I need to say no to.”

T.S. - “Anything that no longer suits the life I want to live.”

H.L. - “You.”

J.K. - “I’m saying no to brownnosing to make insecure adults feel good. Their self-esteem is their job.”

Y.H. - “Events without food.”

T.R. - “Social media bandwagons.”

C.S. - “I’m saying no to standing in my own damn way!”

A.C. - “Broke men!”

C.R. - “I’m saying no to people who want to vent without being constructive.”

B.S. - “This job and bacon.”

P.S. - “I’m saying no to being impatient. We can mess up the process when we move too fast and don’t let things take root.”

N.B. - “Unhealthy food….it’s time out for that shit.”

T.G. - “Cheap liquor.”

R.E. - “Feeling the need to laugh at not-so-funny jokes so things won’t get awkward.”

S.S. - “People pleasing, I’m done trying to make people comfortable while making myself uncomfortable. Oh, and I’m also saying no without an explanation in most situations. No means no, and that’s all you need to know.”

W.H. - “I’m saying no to group texts that I didn’t ask to be a part of.”

D.F. - “I’m definitely saying no to playing small and to anything that doesn’t serve me.”

G.J. - I’m rebuking ice-cream in 2020. It’s the devil! Okay….no I’m not, Guess I need to say no to lying in 2020, huh?”

And there you have it, 25 things from 25 people that are being thrown out of the window this year. May your 2020 be filled with all the peace and more blessings than you can stand!

Outfit Details: Retired Hot Girl Sweatshirt

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Act Like You Know Better

Remember when our mothers used to warn us against touching hot stoves? We knew our mothers were telling the truth, but curiosity got the best of us so we had to touch the stove to see for ourselves. And when we touched it, we discovered what we already knew - that the stove was the temperature of hell. We knew better, but our carnal side won the battle. And it oftentimes still does. In 2019 I touched a few hot stoves against my better judgment. I made some moves that put me in some great positions and some moves I knew better than to make but did it anyway, and you better believe I paid the tolls for those decisions. So if someone were to ask me what’s the one thing I plan on doing in 2020 as a result of my experiences in 2019, I’d proudly answer them by saying, “I plan on “acting like I know better.”

If 2019 showed me nothing else, it definitely showed me that my past lessons, wisdom, and intuition are definitely my most promising guides. The consequences of not acting on the knowledge I possess cost me a lot of time and energy that I can’t afford to carelessly give away in 2020. I’m competent enough to know (in most cases) what actions produce favorable and unfavorable results, and I’m not only just holding that knowledge in my head in 2020, I’m acting on it as well.

Life is rolling, and it’s time out for games, serial mistakes, people who drain you, unhealthy relationships and food, uncomfortable jeans, procrastination, no sleep, immaturity, etc. Most of us are at the point now where we’ve gotten a few life experiences under our belt and as a result, we know what makes us happy, what makes us crazy, what’s good for us, and what isn’t. Of course we won’t get it right all the time, and we can’t control everything that will happen in life - but for the stuff we can control we need to exercise the wisdom that we’ve gained from our previous life experiences.  We always hear people say “look for the lesson in everything,” and I totally agree with this perspective. But let’s not only look for the lessons in everything, let’s implement what we’ve learned from those lessons. Because learning something new is half the battle, but exercising what you’ve learned is winning the war. Let’s not only say we are going to do better in the new year, let’s act like it.

“When you know better, you do better.”

— Maya Angelou

Happy Holidays S&E Family! Whatever you normally do during this time of the year, make sure you incorporate a little relaxation and reflection into that routine. We all need it. I’ll holler at you guys soon!

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Outfit Details: Vintage Leather Coat // Vintage Jeans // White Booties

Clear Your Plate First

It’s Thanksgiving, and my mother’s famous dressing is calling my name. When I was younger, I couldn’t wait for the holidays to roll around because I knew some good cooking was in order. My mother would reach deep down in her southern/western roots and turn the kitchen out on holidays like Thanksgiving. We would have all kinds of food like mustard greens, rolls, fresh green beans, Cornish hens, fried turkey, potato salad, etc. and my one of my favorite desserts - sweet potato pie. I would rush to the kitchen as soon as I heard the “food is ready” announcement. I would see the spread of eats propped on the counter, and my eyes would widen with anticipation. My stomach would literally growl at the smell and sight. I would snatch my plate off the counter and commence to piling every entrée and side dish I saw on it. When I felt I had everything my tummy desired, I would head to the dinner table so the feasting could begin. And right when I was about to lift the fork to my mouth, I would see my brother or father come to the table with a dish that I must’ve overlooked. Not wanting to leave any food unclaimed, I would jump right back up from the table to go grab the omitted dish. But before I could wrap my little hand around the serving spoon to get my gigantic helping, my mother would catch me and say, “Sam, eat what’s on your plate first then see if you have room for something else.”

Yup, my eyes were definitely bigger than my stomach as a child. And it seems I sometimes still suffer from that same issue today when it comes to work. I’m learning all over again to “eat what’s on my plate” before I take on another dish. The last few months have had my head spinning in multiple directions, and it’s all my fault. You see, I’ve been enticed by the dollars that have been sitting on the counter waiting to be grabbed and that has led me to take on project after project. And when it’s all said and done, I’m left with a plate full of food and no appetite.

You know how you feel when you overeat? That’s how taking on more than I can handle feels to me. It’s like I’m continuously pushing food in my mouth even though I’m already chewing on a wad of bread - it’s pure gluttony. Having too much on plate results in me stuffing myself which then turns into exhaustion, regret, and heaviness. I’m also not able to give each task/dish my undivided attention because I’m constantly thinking about the next task/dish and trying to clear my plate in a hurry so I don’t miss out on anything else. I’m definitely learning my lesson though, and all it took was for me to reflect on that simple directive my mother gave to me in the kitchen on holidays. When I begin to clear my plate before I take on any other tasks, I’m able to be more focused, take my time, and produce my best work. I’m no longer letting my greed overpower my needs. I eat what I have and only get seconds if there’s room.

Eating what’s in front of me,

- Samjah Iman

Wishing everyone a very happy and safe Thanksgiving! I’m grateful for each and every person who has visited and will visit this blog and those who leave comments. I sincerely appreciate you all!

P.S. - Oh and yes that is a coat that I wore as a dress….hey, a girl has got to be innovative with this fashion thing, you feel me?!

xoxo

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Outfit Details: Vintage Leather Coat // Black Leather Booties (Zara, sold out - similar here)

Adjustments

The weather here in Louisiana does whatever the hell it wants to do. One day you’re pulling out your shorts and sandals in anticipation of a festival, and the next day you’re wrapped up like rice and beans in a burrito. Just this past weekend I was rocking leggings and a top sans coat, and yesterday I had on almost every clothing article I own in an effort to block the chill. Even though this unpredictable forecast makes it hard to plan ahead when it comes to outfits, I don’t complain. Because being a life-long Louisianian, I’m used to the inconsistent weather (especially during this time of year). And as I was turning off my air conditioner (once again) the other day preparing to adjust to the cold, I thought about how such is life - adjustments.

I no longer wait for life to adjust to me, I adjust to it. If life throws me a little more than what I ask for, I get a bigger glove to catch it all. If life wants to take its time, I slow down and rest right along with it. Not adjusting to life’s shenanigans and going against the grain when everything else around you is changing is like refusing to wear a coat in 20 degree weather because you’re mad the temperature dropped…a total unnecessary struggle.

Making adjustments is a part of life. They aren’t always easy to do, but in order for us to get to the next level, we must constantly adapt and adjust. In most cases I’m faced with two choices when a situation arises- I can either complain that it’s happening, or I can adjust my vibrations/position/attitude to adapt and move forward. Of course the complaining won’t get me anywhere, but the adjustments eventually will. Because with each adjustment comes a little more strength, a little more perseverance, and a little more wisdom. It’s just like playing chess or a sport. If your opponent (life) makes one move, you don’t just stand there and complain because they did it, you make a move too. And the more moves you make, the better you get. And the better you become, the more victories you’ll have.

“The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails.”

— John Maxwell

Adjusting,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Top (Zara, in store only) // Jeans // Hat // Mules

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Are You The Composer?

I’ve been having a few conversations with my loved ones about living authentically and how important, yet rare it is for some people to do. The convos forced me to juxtapose my vision with the vision society/social media says I should have. I thought about the businesses Instagram tells me I should be starting and how hard I should be hustling. I thought about the standards being forced in my face everyday. I thought about where society/social media says I should be at my age, then I thought about the goals I have for myself. All of my thinking prompted me to ask myself if my vision was solely mine or one that had been cultivated by all the propaganda thrown at me daily. What portion of my dreams comes from my true desires and what portion comes from societal/social media ideologies? I thought deeply about my likes and dislikes, my wants, my aspirations, etc., and I’m slowly coming to this conclusion…..I don’t have to have half of the stuff society/social media says I should want. I’m good with living the simplest life if that means I get to live in my truth.

We are currently in a time where if you’re not striving for a certain type of relationship/family, constantly traveling all over the world, owning your own business, buying over-the-top houses, fancy cars, or living lavishly - you’re viewed as unaccomplished. So many people are being enveloped by society’s/social media’s perception of life that they aren’t in touch with their own aspirations anymore. When was the last time you stopped and asked yourself what type of life you really wanted? What makes you really happy? That’s the phase I’m currently in. I’m trying to weed out the noise in order to make sure my life is aligned with what I deem as happiness, not someone else’s definition.

Believe or not, I’ve tried living out other people’s fantasies for my life. And each time I did it, you better believe it didn’t prosper. I tried the “let me work this job that doesn’t nurture my talents but it’s secure” phase, and it eventually led to a breaking point. I tried the “everyday I’m hustling” and “let me try to own several businesses” phase, and since that wasn’t what was in my spirit - I was constantly burnt out, stressed, and uninspired. It wasn’t until I got totally real with myself and my desires that I discovered the world’s standards don’t fit my vibe at all, but my truth (no matter how simple it may be) brings me harmony. I don’t have to have a thriving business, a luxurious vehicle, or the biggest bank account in the world. I just have to have my type of fulfillment. And for me, that doesn’t come from living how society/social media says I should, it comes from living how I want to live.

Are you the composer of your life or just the translator of the song someone else wrote for you?

In my truth,

- Samjah Iman

Style Tip: Blazers are one of the most convenient staples you can have in your closet. They can be dressed up or down, and they can spice up any mediocre look. Get you some blazers asap! The Goodwill has plenty of them for super low prices!

Outfit Details: Vintage Blazer // Vintage Gucci // Short Jumpsuit // Adidas

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Five Ways I Stock Up on My Emotional Currency

I’m constantly evolving. I try each day to be my best self, and of course sometimes I fall short. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not going to hit the bullseye every single time, and I’m okay with that. As long as I keep working towards being the best Sam I can be, it’s all good. Life is a journey - it’s ongoing. We will forever be improving, learning new things, contradicting ourselves as a result of learning new things, and striving for greatness. Becoming the best you doesn’t mean you will get it right each time, nor does it mean you are going to be the perfect human being. It just means that you’re becoming more self-aware, and that you’re on a steady path of looking inward (checking yourself often) more than you do outward (blaming everyone/everything for your actions/emotions). Once I realized that becoming my better self is a constant practice, I relaxed. Things began to flow a little easier, and I was able to do the work without any pressure. I began to heal, display more grace and mercy for myself and others, and stock up on some much needed emotional currency. I’m no therapist or psychiatrist, nor do I have all the answers. I’m just a woman who has been blessed with wise counsel and lessons on top of lessons. And when I learn a lesson or receive some great advice from a trusting source, I feel it’s my duty to disseminate said knowledge so that others can be blessed as well - hence, Style & Energy.

I got some great feedback from my previous post, Can You Afford It….Emotionally. I’m truly grateful that I could inspire at least one person to take emotional inventory. It’s imperative that we stock up on our emotional currency constantly because life takes a lot out of us. Therefore, we must replenish what we’ve lost so that we can stay spiritually full.

In keeping my promise that I made in my last post, I’m sharing five ways I stock up on my emotional currency. Let’s dive into them below.

1. Heal

   I’m on a healing path. I’m learning to speak up when I’ve been wronged or confide in a trusting source about my traumatic incidents. And if talking is too uncomfortable, I journal about them. Any process that allows you to open your wounds and clean them out will definitely help with healing. When we don’t heal properly we tend to carry those unhealed experiences around with us piling one negative experience on top of the next. Pretty soon, we get to a weary and weighed down place because we are carrying too much. We have to not only say we are going to let go, but actually do it. Letting go surely doesn’t happen over night. It’s a process. But if we are truly dedicated to our healing, it’s a process we must work on daily. Another thing I do that is beneficial to my healing is forgiving myself. I rest in the fact that I only acted off the limited knowledge I had in the past, and as Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.” Therefore, I don’t beat myself up about what I didn’t know then. I just try my best to make good use of the knowledge I have now.

2. Feel

   I now embrace every feeling I have. I’m not faking the funk or hiding it. Ignoring or hiding your feelings only pushes them under the rug. And you better believe when someone “flips” that rug one day (i.e. pisses you off or disappoints you), all the feelings you’ve been tucking away will fly up from under that rug just like dust. I discovered that there is no way to go over my feelings, under them, around them, over them, or on the side of them. I have to go through them. I have to embrace my feelings and be real with myself about them. When I’m hurt, I allow myself to be hurt. When I’m sad, I allow that….happy, etc. Feeling your emotions when they arise allows you to tend to them right then and there so that you can clear out any toxicity in real time. Tucking them away allows the toxicity to fester which depletes you over time, and this is definitely a set-up for a future debacle.

3. Confer With and Feed Your Spirit

   The more I listen to my spirit, the stronger it becomes. Choosing to consult my spirit on the choices I make has been one of my best moves yet. In the past, I would end up in some crazy situations simply because I didn’t follow my gut/spirit. And the moment I began to honor my higher self, my higher self began to honor me in return. Tending to my spirit is like drinking water - it’s essential for my well-being. In order for me to have a healthy emotional balance, I have to make sure my spirit is flushed out and filled up often. Yoga, soulful music, positive affirmations, books, and writing are some of the things that help me achieve a full spirit. Click here to see some other ways in which I feed my spirit/soul.

4. Know and Respect Your Limits

   Once you discover what your emotional triggers are, honor them. It’s one thing to know something, but it’s a totally different thing to act upon what you know. If a certain person, situation, or environment depletes your energy or contributes to your emotions spiraling out of control, try to find the will power to either change your attitude or limit your involvement with that person, situation, or environment. Just like some of us know our limit and respect it when it comes to drinking alcohol due to experiencing those fun, inebriated moments-turned stomach curling disasters, we should also learn our limits and respect them when it comes to spending our emotions. If you know what the consequences will be and you can live with the hang over, then jump out there. But if you know the hang over will put you in a funk that will eventually become taxing on your spirit, your mental, and your emotions - “back up off of it and sit your cup down.” - Snoop Dog.

5. Take Some Time To Be With Yourself

   I was watching an interview featuring rapper/actor/music producer David Banner that resonated with me. Banner proclaimed, during this interview, that he was currently happier than he had ever been in his life. The person conducting the interview asked him what was the source that contributed to his happiness. Banner answered, “loving myself….truly loving myself and the God in me.” He went on to say that he could be by himself now. He could sit alone in a coffee or tea shop or not feel the need to turn a TV on when he’s in his own company because he truly loves being with him. Solitude is a genuine expression of self love. Finding the time to sit or be with yourself helps to rejuvenate you. It allows you to explore your thoughts and feelings and connect with your inner God without any interruptions. Certain people and things can exhaust our energy thus draining our emotional bank. We have to step away from those people/things every so often to check in with ourselves - making sure we are good.

I’m still a work in progress, but these simple practices have helped me tremendously. Of course everyone is different, and what works for me may not work for the next person. You can try my tactics, tweak them to fit your vibe, or come up with a complete set of new ones. Whatever you choose to do, just make sure you put in the work to get your emotional currency up - because EVERYTHING comes with a price.

Saving,

- Samjah Iman

Oh……the ‘I’m Someone’s Daughter Too’ Tees are back in stock!!!!! Get yours here before they are gone!

Outfit Details: Bralette (similar, here) // Black Oversized Joggers // Mules 

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Can You Afford It....Emotionally?

Overspending is not the most responsible thing to do. And you might as well call me careless because I’ve done it SEVERAL times. There have been instances where I knew better than to spend my last on a pair of boots, but I did it anyway - and a scant savings and Raisin Bran cereal dinners were my consequences. I’ve been in the overspending mode quite a few times and each time I did it, I had some major bouncing back to do. Nowadays, I try to be more responsible with my coins. Before I purchase most things, I ask myself - do I need it?…and second and most importantly - can I afford it? By asking myself these simple questions, I’m prompted to think before I impulsively act - and as a result, I’ve saved myself a few dollars here and there. Since this simple technique works so well with my money, I decided to try it with my emotions as well. And let me tell you this….it hasn’t been easy, BUT it has saved me from a few disappointments and turmoil along the way.

Through conversation with a friend some time ago, I’ve come to realize that our emotions always pay a price for most of the choices we make. It’s perplexing how some of us are somewhat conscious when it comes to our finances, but not as conscious when it comes to our emotional bank. We check our bank accounts often to make sure we are good financially….but rarely do we check in on our emotions for the same reason. We jump into cyclonic circumstances, choose shaky situations, or allow frivolous things to happen that we know will possibly have an impact on our mental peace and emotional well-being. Some of us are adamant about saving money and getting our bank account to a certain status, yet our emotions are almost bankrupt.

There was a time when I would allow myself to choose or go back to certain relationships/situations that I knew drained me instead of fueled me. My emotional bank was already low (because I hadn’t healed properly), and accepting said relationships or situations depleted what little emotional currency I had left. I knew choosing those relationships/situations would be emotionally taxing and therefore have me in a slump that would be hard to come out of - but I jumped in anyway….well, because… (as I said before), I was an overspender. After countless times of blaming the other person, bumping my head, suffering from hurt feelings, and a fair share of self-sabotage, I now watch my emotions like I watch my money. When I’m presented with a situation these days that requires me to open up and give all of me, I make sure to ask myself, “Sam, how much is this going to cost you emotionally, and can you afford it?” I get real with myself. I weigh the consequences. I check my emotional bank. And if the situation is worth my while, AND I have a substantial amount of emotional currency saved up - I may jump out there. But…if my bank account is low, and I’m on my last - I pass it up.

Although I’m still evolving and learning daily, I can honestly affirm that a lot of my maturity and growth is attributed to me being a good steward over the emotional situations I get involved in. Of course every situation isn’t avoidable, but by building up my emotional bank - I’m able to handle the unforeseen a little better than I would if my emotional bank was empty. Have you ever seen someone fly off the handle easily or cry hysterically over every little thing that happens to them? It’s probably because they have been emotionally overspending for a while now - and as a result, their emotional bank account is in the red.

There are too many instances in the past where I piled one dramatic situation on top of another which resulted in my emotional bank running low. So now I try to keep my emotional bank account as plentiful as possible. And since it feels so good to have extra emotional currency just sitting in the bank, I don’t plan on ever going in the red again. But if for some reason I do, I’ll make sure to stack my emotional coins back up before I purchase the next adventure.

P.S. - Soon I’ll share with you all the ways I stock up on my emotional currency in hopes of helping someone.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Breakdown to Rebuild

I remember my first day at Howard University like it was this morning. I sat in my African American Film class all bright eyed and bushy-tailed (and dressed to the nines of course), ready to conquer the new chapter of my life. After several minutes, the professor finally sashayed into the classroom and - before she could even introduce herself - commenced to throwing around ideologies and theories pertaining to the hegemonic structure and social construction. My right hand began to shake while attempting to take notes…..”hegemon-who?", I thought to myself as I frantically scribbled on my notebook paper. As the professor continued to inconsiderately regurgitate words that made absolutely no sense to me, I quickly scanned the room to see if I was the only one having a twilight zone experience. I was. My diplomatic peers, hailing from all over the world, began going toe to toe with the professor verbally - putting their two-cents on the topics at hand like they had taught a few college courses of their own in the past. I just sat there in shock and shrunk smaller with every foreign word that was being spoken around me. As soon as class was adjourned, I packed up my bag and ran straight to the nearest bathroom. I locked myself in a stall, called my mother, and before she could utter hello, I started balling my eyes out. Through uncontrollable sobs I managed to say, “Momma, I can’t do this! I don’t know enough to be at this school. My education didn’t prepare me for this! I want to leave!” After my Oscar-worthy, dramatic breakdown, I just knew my mother was about to send the first thing smoking to DC to rescue her youngest child. So I took a deep breath and patiently waited for her to spell out my exit plan. She didn’t. Instead she said, “You are just as capable as everyone in that classroom. So you have to decide if you’re going to face the challenge or run from it. Now put yourself back together, and go make the choice.” I mended eventually….and I ended up acing that class….and the other classes that followed. I just needed that “bathroom release” to jump start what turned out to be an amazing, worthwhile journey.

You know how we take some things apart and put them back together in order for them to function better? That works for us too. Sometimes we need to fall apart, detach, collapse, and come undone in order to come back strong. People often try to avoid a good cry or breakdown because it makes them feel defeated and/or vulnerable. But like a friend once told me (brace yourself, it’s a little graphic), “A good cry is like a good bowel movement….it cleans your system out.” It’s necessary to let your pinned up emotions flow freely (responsibly of course) so that you get all of those toxins and stress out of your body in preparation for rejuvenation. When you think about it, breaking down is a part of a process that a lot of systems go through in order to function properly. For example, you have to shut down computers every now and then for them to continue to work properly. Some electronics need to be taken apart and put back together to get them to act right. And it’s no different for us.

So take a moment, when necessary, and come all the way undone. Let go of all your inhibitions in order to rid your system of any pinned up stress. Then after your meltdown is over, take a deep breath, collect the pieces, and put yourself back together again. I’m sure you’ll get the boost you need to keep going.

Peace and Blessings ya’ll,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Top // Jeans (I cut them up) // Dr. Martens 

Photo Credit: Mary Martin

Doing Less to get More

A week or so before Essence Festival, I was mentally burned out. I had been stretched in 50 different directions, and all I wanted to do was sit on my couch and binge watch Girlfriends and Sex and the City while eating banana bread. The return of Essence Fest, to me, meant a hint of fun mixed with long hours, work, more work, strict deadlines, and pure pandemonium. Now don’t get it twisted, I wasn’t tripping off the hard work…I’m no foreigner to the grind….I was just growing weary of being busy and not strategic. So Essence Festival came and went, and just like I predicted - I ran myself into the ground….and the money I made didn’t match the hustle I put in. A few days after Essence Fest, I came across a quote that I know for sure was thrown in my path on purpose. Check it out below.

““The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.””

— Warren Buffett

This quote bopped me right on the top of my head and planted itself in my psyche. I thought about it days after I read it. Shortly after discovering the quote, a friend (out the blue) called and suggested that I read the book The One Thing by Gary Keller (when certain subjects keep coming up in my environment, this is one of the ways I know God is speaking to me). Stumbling upon that quote and getting that book prompted me to reanalyze what success looked like to me and the most effective way to reach it. And the first thing I began to do was…..trim the fat.

In my opinion, Mr. Buffett is basically saying to weed out the things that are not aligned with your goals so that you can get to the things that are. Sometimes my hands are in too many pots which results in me not bearing any fruits. But when I concentrate on a specific thing, I master it. When I first started this blog/influencer journey, I tried to take on as many projects as possible so that I could get my brand out there. I was all over the place which quickly drained me and left me no energy to complete the important tasks. Now days, I’m learning more and more that being busy and being productive are not related. The more tasks you take on that are unrelated to your goals, the further away from your goals you’ll be. But if you sift through the rubbish and get to the treasure, you’ll actually accomplish more.

“If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.”

— Russian Proverb

So now I’m laser focused. I’m carving out my main goal and sticking to it. If something comes up that doesn’t align with my main goal, presents itself as just busy work, or doesn’t feel right in my spirit - I nip it. And because I’ve gotten so focused, a lot of the right things have been coming my way. And as a result, more opportunities are on the horizon.

Think about it, entrepreneurs like Jay Z came into the business concentrating on one goal. In Jay’s instance, it was rap. He went so hard with rap that of course he succeeded. And as a result of that achievement, success in other areas followed.

Doing less to get more might sound crazy to some. But for me it’s just what the doctor ordered. Because being involved in everything means you’re actually involved in nothing due to your attention and energy being unevenly divided. But putting all your attention and energy into fewer things (or one thing) can give you the results you desire and then some.

“He who works all day has no time to make money.”

— John D. Rockefeller

Doing less….getting more,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: These overalls came straight from my Aunt’s closet. She made me swear I wouldn’t slice them up….however, my cutting finger has been itching!! LOL! Oh, and of course they are vintage!! Ya’ll know me!

The Observation Phase

I’m currently in an observation phase. A couple of weeks ago I got to a point where I felt like I had missed some spiritual signs and other good lessons because I’ve been too busy reacting and talking instead of watching and listening. So I decided to step back and just monitor my environment and the people in it. And so far, I’ve gathered some pretty enlightening and essential information.

I’ve been watching some things grow, watching a few situations evolve, watching some people interact, and watching some people reveal their true selves. And it’s amazing how much stuff you learn once you decide to close your mouth and open your eyes and ears. Before this observation phase, I used to think asking questions was one of the most effective ways for me to gather information….I was kind of right and kind of wrong. While asking questions does feed my curiosity, observation feeds my spirit. Let me explain.

Have you ever heard the quote, “Needing nothing attracts everything?” Well I’ve been shown that this quote can also be applied to the need to know things. Once I decided to give up the need to know who people really were and everything that was happening or going to happen, things were acutely revealed. This observation tactic ties into what I’ve been stressing on this blog over and over (and yes it’s still taking me some time to apply this tactic, but I’m on the right path)…..once we give up the need to control things, our inner God intervenes - and that’s when things begin to come together how they should. This observation phase is definitely helping me become more comfortable with my silence. It’s pushing me to exercise my faith muscles, and it’s giving me the mental rest I need. It’s also teaching me the profound art of waiting (which is what we will be doing most of our lives) and showing me that everything is revealed when it’s supposed to be revealed.

My grandmother used to say, “if you’re supposed to know something, you’ll find out.” Granny was definitely on point. Because mostly everything that I’ve needed to know thus far has found me without me having to seek it. This is why I wholeheartedly believe that what’s meant for a person won’t pass them…..especially if they are aware and have their ears, eyes, and heart open to receive it.

So zip up your lips for a second, open your ears/eyes/heart, grab your popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the show…..you’'ll get to the climax of the story sooner or later.

Enjoying this spiritual view,

- Samjah Iman

P.S. - Oh and during this observation phase, I’m also learning that being equally yoked not only applies to your romantic relationships….it also applies to your FRIENDSHIPS as well. Stay tuned ya’ll!!!

Outfit Details: Tie Dye Dress // Heels (sold out, similar here)

Releasing the Grip

Despite what the world says or what social media messages may drill in our minds, I’m learning that the most effective way to live life is by letting it be. Yes we have the power to manifest beautiful things in our lives, but we also need to learn the balance of controlling what we can and letting the rest flow however it’s meant to flow. Most of the stress we create in our lives comes from trying to control a situation. If you take a second and think about a stressful issue occurring right now in your life, you will probably discover that you’re adding more stress to the situation by constantly trying to control it, or figure out how to make it better, or how to stop it. And what you really need to do is release your grip, and let it go (I’m preaching to me on this one).

For the past few years I’ve been enduring a tough but much needed lesson on learning how to take my hands off certain situations and letting them be. I’m always trying to figure out how I can speed the process up, help the process out, or get rid of the process all together. I’m constantly thinking that maybe I’m not doing enough, or maybe I should have said this, or maybe I just need to add a little more of that to make it better. When in actuality, all I’m doing is interfering with the natural/spiritual process that is taking part on my behalf. It seems when I’m constantly trying to make something work, it moves further away from me. But when I release it, it works out how it’s supposed to work out when I least expect it.

The other day while going back and forth in my head over an issue, I was reminded of some simple yet sound advice my father gave me years ago that can be applied to any situation. Back then I was battling some acne issues which made me obsessed with every product that claimed to rid my face of the hideous critters. I would walk around the house every night with about 20 creams on my face then follow those up with some new mask. I did this religiously for about two weeks but nothing seemed to help. One night, with a white mask caked on my face, I walked into the kitchen - passing my father up in the living room - to get a snack. My father, whom I’m assuming was tickled at the sight of his daughter resembling a mime, took one look at my face and smirked. Just as I was about to head back to my domain, he stopped me and said, “you know the bumps will eventually go away if you just leave them alone and stop focusing on them.” In typical teenage fashion, I rolled my eyes and continued on the journey to my room to sulk. But his words sat with me. The next day, I didn’t use any of the masks or creams I accumulated, nor did I use them the day after that, or the day after that. I just did the simple tasks of washing, toning, and moisturizing. I also made it my business not to stare at the bumps in the mirror every chance I got, and just like daddy said - they eventually went away.

I’m not telling you guys to give up on your endeavors. I’m simply saying declare what you want, control the part you can control, then release your grip and watch life work its magic. By doing so you allow all the bumps to work themselves out, and eventually things will change. And what's for you, will come to you.

Releasing the Grip,

- Samjah Iman

P.S. - I don’t have any outfit details on this look because I purchased it from a garage sale!! Sweet huh?! But what I do have is some info on a cool event happening during Essence Festival! The one practice that has been keeping my stress levels low, teaching me meditation, discipline, and the art of being still is yoga. And this year my yoga community (Magnolia Yoga Studio - Nola’s 1st black owned yoga studio) is kicking off Essence Fest weekend with a super cool yoga event! See below!

For more information on tickets, visit their website.

Oh and a couple days after the yoga event, come see your girl on the panel at Brunch for the Soul. I’ll be there stuffing my face and speaking from my spirit! Details below!

Purchase tickets, here.

See some of ya’ll at Essence 2019!

Self-care Isn't Always Fun

Self-care is a big topic these days, and rightfully so. Almost every other magazine, blog, and social media post focuses on the crucial subject. I’ve joined in on the hoopla as well. I’ve given out suggestions on how to feed your soul , put yourself first, and all that cute crap. It wasn’t until the other day during one of my mother/daughter venting sessions when I zeroed in on the fact that self-care isn’t always fun.

When most think of self-care their brain automatically goes to hour long massages, picture-worthy beach vacations, Blue Bell cookies and cream ice-cream while deep couch sitting, pedicures with a side of Pinot Noir, alone time, a page-turner book, exercising, etc. However, that’s just one side of the self-care movement. There’s another side - a side that isn’t so pretty…..a side that forces you to make gut wrenching decisions that look bizarre to others in the present time, but benefits you wholeheartedly in the future. The type of self-care I’m referring to forces you to say enough is enough, even when your heart wants to hand out 50 more chances. The self-care I’m talking about sometimes ignores what the body is saying and chooses to be alone for a while so that healing and spiritual realignment can properly take place.

I remember listening to Lauryn Hill’s song When It Hurts So Bad off her debut album for the first time at 16 years old. I would play the song over and over attempting to wrap my mind around why Lauryn thought that something which hurt so bad felt so good. Then in my 20s, I played the song repeatedly and concluded that she must be talking about something going wrong in a relationship and being torn between two lovers…..”what you want might make you cry, and what you need might pass you by…..if you don’t catch it.'“ One of the many things I dig about art is that it evokes different emotions and different interpretations from every consumer. That’s the sole purpose of it. I also like that if you keep coming back to the same art (music, writings, paintings, etc.), it will mean different things to you at different times in your life. I played Lauryn’s song the other night for the first time in a minute. I listened intently to the words….and I had my “aha” moment. At this time in my life, I believe Lauryn’s song speaks directly to self-care. Her lyrics, “when it hurts so bad, why does it feel so good” , in my opinion depict tough decisions you have to make that sting like hell momentarily, but are ultimately good for you in the long run. This message not only applies to romantic relationships, it applies to all relationships whether it be friendships or business relationships.. It can also be applied to life decisions, health decisions, money decisions, etc. Sometimes you have to be willing to miss out on some things, be the only one standing up for some things, say no to a lot of popular things, and walk away from some exciting things in order to take care of yourself. Sometimes you have to endure the pain now, so that it won’t hurt later. Self-care isn’t always fun. Sometimes it comes with a hefty price tag. But what I’ve learned over time and what I’m still learning is to pay it up front, and reap the investment later. There are a lot of people walking around this earth who didn’t pay the price in the beginning, and the result? Well, they’re bankrupt now.

Paying it upfront,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: White Top

I Quit Part 3 - The Update

Whew child! It’s been one heck of a roller coaster ride these last two years. This journey has been filled with all kinds of twists and turns. It’s been up one month and down the next. It’s been promising in the morning and dreadful in the afternoon. I’ve threatened to pull my hair out on one day and cried tears of joy on the next. My money, emotions, and stress levels have all been as unstable as the stock market. But throughout this entire journey, I held on to what I knew to be true which is - change is always inevitable. I would tell myself each and everyday that if I just stayed the course, something would shake. And it did. I just had to go through it, to get to it.

Most of you know I quit my job of eight years in 2017. I didn’t plan on quitting that year, but certain circumstances and my spirit pushed me to do so. I left the job with some money saved up, my rising brand, and a part-time position with an online magazine already in my back pocket. About a year after leaving that job, two of those things slowly evaporated lol. Rent was eating my savings up, and the magazine I was working part-time for ended up loosing its Instagram account (which generated a lot of advertising revenue) and as a result, my pay vanished - and then I eventually vanished….from that job. In the midst of all that, I manifested another fashion gig and when it came to pass, I just knew it was ideal. The pay was good and the work was right up my alley…..or so I thought. Months later I would discover that this magazine wanted me to not just be the editor of one section, but they wanted me to build the entire magazine! And then after a few months of giving me a hefty salary to do so, they came to the conclusion that they couldn’t afford me anymore. How crazy is that?! After months of trying to make things work, I got word that a prominent attorney needed a content creator/social media writer. Something in my spirit prompted me to be assertive and contact the headhunter who had the details on this position so I obeyed. After about two weeks, I was in there!

Two years and a whole lot of hustling later, I’m finally getting a steady grip on things. Last week I talked about doing nothing and being still in times of confusion and impatience, and let me say this - it worked and it’s still working. Two great opportunities fell out of the sky this week, and I truly feel that there’s more where those came from.

My journey to entrepreneurship does not look how I thought it would, and that’s totally fine with me. The best thing about this journey is that it’s mine. It’s specifically tailored for my story, and it’s not supposed to fit anyone else’s. I’ve learned so many valuable lessons from this journey. I’ve learned how to manage my money better (Lawd this lesson was hard), I’ve become more in-tuned with my spirit and more confident in following its lead, and the biggest lesson I’ve learned through all of this is to simply just hang in there. If you keep going, change will come. I got knocked down several times during this journey and will probably get knocked down again. But what I do have is time…..and as long as the clock is still ticking, I have nothing better or more beneficial to do than to stay in the ring and keep rolling with the punches. Eventually, I’ll win the fight.

To be continued…..

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Polka Dot Off-the-shoulder Top (old, Forever 21) // Stripe Skirt (old, Forever 21) // Heels