Being Selfish is My Mode of Operation From Now On....

I just left the hospital yesterday. I had a minor procedure done (lady stuff). I’m healing and resting. Although the circumstances weren’t favorable, I found the blessing in the storm. I know for sure that one of the purposes of these circumstances was for me to get some much needed rest. I’m currently being selfish, and it feels so good. For the first time in a while, my mind and body are still. And it only took me having to go to the hospital for that to happen. Wow.

I’ve been saying for the last few months that I needed some rest, but I wasn’t following through. After I resigned from my job in December, I wanted to hit the ground running with my freelance career. My mind was steady racing everyday about everything I needed to do. I feared that if I gave myself a break, I would miss a lucrative opportunity. I was doing my yoga in the morning and all the meditative stuff, but sometimes I would even rush that to get to my work. Subconsciously, I began to carry that familiar guilt on my shoulders that almost every black woman bears - the guilt that we must be superwoman to every problem and everyone except our needs and ourselves. I don’t know how I began to feed into this notion because I try my best not to subscribe to that “black women should be strong all the time and keep going no matter what” crap, but there I was…lying in the hospital bed (enjoying the silence and hospitality might I add) and thinking, “Yup Sam, God had to sit you down so that you can understand that it’s time for you to become a little more selfish.” I heard God, and I’m taking heed.

“Taking care of yourself is taking care of others.” My 96-year-old grandmother uttered those words to me out of the blue this past summer while I was sitting on her plastic-covered couch, squinting at her 32-inch television. I now feel those words deep in my soul. I love to work and will continue to grind…but at my own pace. Wealth to me is good health, a flexible schedule, and peace. I’m giving myself permission to ignore calls and delay responses to emails and messages when I need to. I will extend myself even more grace and will allow myself to take whatever I need to off my plate to remain sane. I will feel the strength and confidence (instead of weakness) in saying “I won’t be able to do that right now…or never.” I will have however many lazy moments I need. I will take the time to sit and read a book without thinking about what else needs to be done. I will give myself a moment (if not more) out of each day to be selfish, and I will not beat myself up about it. This is my creed, and I will refer back to this post when I need to. Peace and blessings, y’all.

Selfishly,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Vintage Leather Coat // Heels (Steve Madden, old) // Skirt (Free People, old) // Top (Zara, old) // Sunglasses (vintage hand-me-downs)

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

What I'm No Longer Praying For in the Midst of Chaos…

I remember being trapped in a horrible job situation or at a low point in life and feverishly praying for things to get better quickly, and all I got in return was the same situation…day after day. Of course we don’t get everything we pray for, for a reason, but that doesn’t stop the disappointment or frustration that comes with the wait. When going through burdensome times, I would often ask religious people how to pray, and some would tell me I had to constantly ask God for what I wanted. Others would advise me to tell God what I desired once, and patiently wait for the results. I tried both ways…..and I still felt out of alignment with prayer.

I believe that everything happens in due time, but the prayer situation still boggles my mind from time to time. So in an effort to ease some of my confusion, I talked to my mother about my concerns. She expressed that she had been having the same questions herself. She told me that she could remember as a youngster praying every single night, pleading with God to end the Vietnam War. Her prayers were eventually answered, 10 YEARS LATER.

I am an extremely spiritual person, and I wholeheartedly believe in the power of prayer. I also believe God gave us the tools we need to bring forth what we desire; hence manifestation. But when someone is going through tough times, they don’t want to wait 10 years, 10 months, or even 10 minutes for their prayers to be answered. So after praying for some of the same things every single night without results, I felt the need to shift my prayer perspective. I’d been feeling this way for a while, and because I was ready to receive some guidance on this matter….it came.

During one of my usual Sunday morning rituals, I was searching for some teachings on YouTube when I ran across a TD Jakes’ sermon. I can’t remember what the entire sermon was about, but he definitely said some words that gave me the insight I was seeking. He spoke about Noah’s ark and how it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. He related that to the current struggles people go through and how they wait everyday to be released from them. And his advice for that was, “get comfortable and ride it out.” It was a “duh Sam!” moment for me. Jakes was basically saying, instead of constantly agonizing over your situation - just roll with it until it shifts. Of course it’s not that simple to do when you’re experiencing hardship, but it’s the best thing you can do at the moment because you’re in the storm for a reason. And if you endure, you will come out greater than you were before you went in. But you have to go through the process to get to the other side - no matter how long it takes. And if you abort the process too early, you may not reach your full potential. TD Jakes’ words reminded me of a line I read in The TAO of WU (thanks for the book recommendation Chris!). In that book, Rza (founding Wu-tang member) said that through experience he learned to trust chaos and confusion instead of judging it, fearing it, or trying to reach an immediate solution. He said that this was not only his secret to production, it’s also the secret to life. After listening to Jakes and reflecting on Rza’s words, everything began to make sense. Instead of trying to pray my way out of storms, I will accept what is, ride it out, and stay in alignment. Because the last thing I want to do is disrupt any incubation process that I am supposed to undergo in order to reach the next step of wisdom or blessings. I will no longer pray for storms to end, things to begin, or things to turn around. I will visualize the outcome I want, stay fixated on that vision, ask God to keep me in alignment, change my perspective, and bless me with the strength to hang in there until my shift comes. Remember, when you grapple with something it rebels, when you leave it alone it flows.

Both the beauty and scary part of life is that we don’t know what it will bring. However, what we do know is positive things will happen as will chaos. My prayer for you all and myself is that more positive shows up in our lives than chaos. And when the chaos comes, I pray that we trust it and view it as a breeding process necessary for our growth. May God grant us the endurance we need to ride these waves until calmer waters come.

Wave surfing,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Vintage Blazer // Jeans // Heels (old, similar here) // Purse (my mother’s closet)

Photography Credit: 87 Photography 

Show, Don't Tell

It seems like a lot of people are so loud these days…especially on social media. Everyone is telling you who they are, what they got going on, how hard they hustle, what they make, who wants them, what kind of perks they have, how super real they are, how they should not be disrespected, how they are a queen or king, etc. Don’t get me wrong, everyone should exude confidence and think highly of themselves. I’m all for self-love. However, as the New Orleans bred rapper Lil Wayne once put it, “What’s understood ain’t got to be explained.”

There is no need to state the obvious. If you are walking in your light, you don’t have to tell people that you are shinning. They will see it. You don’t have to verbally demand respect from anyone. Carry yourself in a manner that deserves respect. And if a person isn’t respecting you even when you carry yourself as such, simply remove yourself from the situation.

Going back and forth with anyone (whether it be a colleague, a stranger, a family member, or a mate) about who you are, how you will be treated, what moves you make, and what you represent is useless. As a matter of fact, it often exposes your insecurities and diminishes your character. Whenever I catch myself telling someone who I am and what I’m about, I ask myself - “What point am I trying to prove? And am I trying to prove this point to them or MYSELF?”

“The loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room. ”

— Denzel Washington as Frank Lucas (American Gangster)

Think about it….does a true queen or king have to constantly reiterate that they are royalty? Nope, they just live in their nobility. Does the bible say that Jesus ever boasted or felt the need to continually tell people what He was capable of? Not that I read. He just did His thing and let His power speak for itself, and that’s the level I’m trying to get on.

Show them who you are, don’t tell them. Remember actions are way louder than words.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Fun fact: These leather pants came from my mother’s closet. She purchased them when she was 28 years old! The leather trench coat came from my aunt’s closet. Both of these items were bought before I was born. This is a lesson that buying quality clothing items is truly an investment. My sweatshirt came from H&M some time ago and boots from Zara.

Picture Credit: @d.braz_photography

Voting in Vintage

I would be remiss if I didn’t do my part to stress the importance of voting tomorrow and show off this vintage blazer I got for $24! LOL!

Anyway, If you’re following this blog then I already know you are extremely conscious and have all the sense in the world (smile); therefore, voting in the one of the most crucial elections is on your agenda tomorrow. But just in case you’re tripping and thinking about not voting tomorrow, below are five quick reasons that will hopefully get your mind right.

1. Your life and your family’s lives depend on it. Too much craziness is happening in this world for you not to use your powerful voice.

2. Trump

3. Your ancestors went through hell for you to have the right to vote, honor them by using it.

4. Trump

5. Voting allows you to decide what will happen with your life regarding laws, healthcare, equal opportunities, etc. Not voting puts the decision in the people’s hands who could care less about our lives.

If these 5 reasons don’t move you to vote, I have a few more that I wrote about here. Check it out.

Also, you can grab a blazer like this vintage one here. And my boots are Steve Madden.

Happy voting loves!

Keep Pushing

Hey everyone!  I'm jumping in your inbox today to give you a little outfit inspiration and to remind you all to keep pushing toward your goals.  I had to tell myself this the other day, and I thought it was only appropriate that I tell you all as well.  Working towards goals gets frustrating at times especially when you haven't seen the fruits of your labor.  You begin to question your abilities and even contemplate throwing in the towel.  I too feel like this at times, but then I'm reminded to take a break, breathe, and then keep pushing. 

I heard a speaker once compare reaching your goals to labor pains and it made so much sense.  He said that when a woman is in her last stages of pregnancy, she feels the most pressure and pain.  That's because she's about to give birth.  This is the same with people who have been planting seeds for their goals for what seems like forever.  The minute the hustle becomes unbearable and the weight of succeeding is too heavy to carry, don't give up.  This may be the last stages of your pregnancy and a beautiful birth could be about to take place.  Just keep pushing.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details:  Shirt (old) and Jacket (designed by me) // Vintage green leather skirt //  Cream Booties // Suede+Cow Hide Bag (sold out)

Just Be...

As soon as you log into your email each morning or on your social media accounts, you see messages popping up telling you to get money, hustle hard, stay on the grind, hurry up and succeed, etc.  I totally get those messages, am sometimes motivated by those messages, and have even emailed/posted those types of messages in the past as well.  However, I woke up the other morning and said that on that day (and the days to come) I will just be.  I won't be hard on myself, I won't try to overachieve, I won't let the world or internet rush me or tell me what success should look like. I will just simply be present, do the work my way, and let the chips fall where they may.  Sometimes we need to take all of that stress off of our shoulders from the world, get a clear picture in our heads about how success looks to us, and just be.  Be in the moment, be in spirit, be appreciative, be reflective, be content, be patient and everything will come together. Let the pressure of succeeding and the world go sometimes.  This is your own race, no one else's.  Just be.   

Oh and aren't you feeling my vintage peplum blazer? It's 100% silk and was only $22!! I'm in love with it!   Talk to you soon!

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Jeans // Purse & Blouse // Shoes // Choker    

Photo Credit: shotbyclipz@gmail.com

The Victorian Blouse

It's no secret that I want mostly all vintage clothes in my closet.  I can't get enough of them!  I got this vintage blouse from @Shopvintagebowtique (Instagram) for about $20.  It reminded me of fashion from the 19th century.  I had to have it!  My rose clutch from Intuition resembles a vintage piece as well so I made it my main accessory for this ensemble.

I hope you all are having an awesome, productive week thus far.  Let's all do what we can to keep the week positive and not let anyone or anything interrupt that positivity.  No person or thing deserves that kind of power over our feelings anyway. 

Until next time...

Peace and Blessings!

- Samjah Iman

Photo Credit: majstudios@yahoo.com