I’m constantly evolving. I try each day to be my best self, and of course sometimes I fall short. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not going to hit the bullseye every single time, and I’m okay with that. As long as I keep working towards being the best Sam I can be, it’s all good. Life is a journey - it’s ongoing. We will forever be improving, learning new things, contradicting ourselves as a result of learning new things, and striving for greatness. Becoming the best you doesn’t mean you will get it right each time, nor does it mean you are going to be the perfect human being. It just means that you’re becoming more self-aware, and that you’re on a steady path of looking inward (checking yourself often) more than you do outward (blaming everyone/everything for your actions/emotions). Once I realized that becoming my better self is a constant practice, I relaxed. Things began to flow a little easier, and I was able to do the work without any pressure. I began to heal, display more grace and mercy for myself and others, and stock up on some much needed emotional currency. I’m no therapist or psychiatrist, nor do I have all the answers. I’m just a woman who has been blessed with wise counsel and lessons on top of lessons. And when I learn a lesson or receive some great advice from a trusting source, I feel it’s my duty to disseminate said knowledge so that others can be blessed as well - hence, Style & Energy.
I got some great feedback from my previous post, Can You Afford It….Emotionally. I’m truly grateful that I could inspire at least one person to take emotional inventory. It’s imperative that we stock up on our emotional currency constantly because life takes a lot out of us. Therefore, we must replenish what we’ve lost so that we can stay spiritually full.
In keeping my promise that I made in my last post, I’m sharing five ways I stock up on my emotional currency. Let’s dive into them below.
I’m on a healing path. I’m learning to speak up when I’ve been wronged or confide in a trusting source about my traumatic incidents. And if talking is too uncomfortable, I journal about them. Any process that allows you to open your wounds and clean them out will definitely help with healing. When we don’t heal properly we tend to carry those unhealed experiences around with us piling one negative experience on top of the next. Pretty soon, we get to a weary and weighed down place because we are carrying too much. We have to not only say we are going to let go, but actually do it. Letting go surely doesn’t happen over night. It’s a process. But if we are truly dedicated to our healing, it’s a process we must work on daily. Another thing I do that is beneficial to my healing is forgiving myself. I rest in the fact that I only acted off the limited knowledge I had in the past, and as Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.” Therefore, I don’t beat myself up about what I didn’t know then. I just try my best to make good use of the knowledge I have now.
I now embrace every feeling I have. I’m not faking the funk or hiding it. Ignoring or hiding your feelings only pushes them under the rug. And you better believe when someone “flips” that rug one day (i.e. pisses you off or disappoints you), all the feelings you’ve been tucking away will fly up from under that rug just like dust. I discovered that there is no way to go over my feelings, under them, around them, over them, or on the side of them. I have to go through them. I have to embrace my feelings and be real with myself about them. When I’m hurt, I allow myself to be hurt. When I’m sad, I allow that….happy, etc. Feeling your emotions when they arise allows you to tend to them right then and there so that you can clear out any toxicity in real time. Tucking them away allows the toxicity to fester which depletes you over time, and this is definitely a set-up for a future debacle.
Confer With and Feed Your Spirit
The more I listen to my spirit, the stronger it becomes. Choosing to consult my spirit on the choices I make has been one of my best moves yet. In the past, I would end up in some crazy situations simply because I didn’t follow my gut/spirit. And the moment I began to honor my higher self, my higher self began to honor me in return. Tending to my spirit is like drinking water - it’s essential for my well-being. In order for me to have a healthy emotional balance, I have to make sure my spirit is flushed out and filled up often. Yoga, soulful music, positive affirmations, books, and writing are some of the things that help me achieve a full spirit. Click here to see some other ways in which I feed my spirit/soul.
Know and Respect Your Limits
Once you discover what your emotional triggers are, honor them. It’s one thing to know something, but it’s a totally different thing to act upon what you know. If a certain person, situation, or environment depletes your energy or contributes to your emotions spiraling out of control, try to find the will power to either change your attitude or limit your involvement with that person, situation, or environment. Just like some of us know our limit and respect it when it comes to drinking alcohol due to experiencing those fun, inebriated moments-turned stomach curling disasters, we should also learn our limits and respect them when it comes to spending our emotions. If you know what the consequences will be and you can live with the hang over, then jump out there. But if you know the hang over will put you in a funk that will eventually become taxing on your spirit, your mental, and your emotions - “back up off of it and sit your cup down.” - Snoop Dog.
Take Some Time To Be With Yourself
I was watching an interview featuring rapper/actor/music producer David Banner that resonated with me. Banner proclaimed, during this interview, that he was currently happier than he had ever been in his life. The person conducting the interview asked him what was the source that contributed to his happiness. Banner answered, “loving myself….truly loving myself and the God in me.” He went on to say that he could be by himself now. He could sit alone in a coffee or tea shop or not feel the need to turn a TV on when he’s in his own company because he truly loves being with him. Solitude is a genuine expression of self love. Finding the time to sit or be with yourself helps to rejuvenate you. It allows you to explore your thoughts and feelings and connect with your inner God without any interruptions. Certain people and things can exhaust our energy thus draining our emotional bank. We have to step away from those people/things every so often to check in with ourselves - making sure we are good.
I’m still a work in progress, but these simple practices have helped me tremendously. Of course everyone is different, and what works for me may not work for the next person. You can try my tactics, tweak them to fit your vibe, or come up with a complete set of new ones. Whatever you choose to do, just make sure you put in the work to get your emotional currency up - because EVERYTHING comes with a price.
- Samjah Iman
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Photo Credit: 87 Photography