Can You Afford It....Emotionally?

Overspending is not the most responsible thing to do. And you might as well call me careless because I’ve done it SEVERAL times. There have been instances where I knew better than to spend my last on a pair of boots, but I did it anyway - and a scant savings and Raisin Bran cereal dinners were my consequences. I’ve been in the overspending mode quite a few times and each time I did it, I had some major bouncing back to do. Nowadays, I try to be more responsible with my coins. Before I purchase most things, I ask myself - do I need it?…and second and most importantly - can I afford it? By asking myself these simple questions, I’m prompted to think before I impulsively act - and as a result, I’ve saved myself a few dollars here and there. Since this simple technique works so well with my money, I decided to try it with my emotions as well. And let me tell you this….it hasn’t been easy, BUT it has saved me from a few disappointments and turmoil along the way.

Through conversation with a friend some time ago, I’ve come to realize that our emotions always pay a price for most of the choices we make. It’s perplexing how some of us are somewhat conscious when it comes to our finances, but not as conscious when it comes to our emotional bank. We check our bank accounts often to make sure we are good financially….but rarely do we check in on our emotions for the same reason. We jump into cyclonic circumstances, choose shaky situations, or allow frivolous things to happen that we know will possibly have an impact on our mental peace and emotional well-being. Some of us are adamant about saving money and getting our bank account to a certain status, yet our emotions are almost bankrupt.

There was a time when I would allow myself to choose or go back to certain relationships/situations that I knew drained me instead of fueled me. My emotional bank was already low (because I hadn’t healed properly), and accepting said relationships or situations depleted what little emotional currency I had left. I knew choosing those relationships/situations would be emotionally taxing and therefore have me in a slump that would be hard to come out of - but I jumped in anyway….well, because… (as I said before), I was an overspender. After countless times of blaming the other person, bumping my head, suffering from hurt feelings, and a fair share of self-sabotage, I now watch my emotions like I watch my money. When I’m presented with a situation these days that requires me to open up and give all of me, I make sure to ask myself, “Sam, how much is this going to cost you emotionally, and can you afford it?” I get real with myself. I weigh the consequences. I check my emotional bank. And if the situation is worth my while, AND I have a substantial amount of emotional currency saved up - I may jump out there. But…if my bank account is low, and I’m on my last - I pass it up.

Although I’m still evolving and learning daily, I can honestly affirm that a lot of my maturity and growth is attributed to me being a good steward over the emotional situations I get involved in. Of course every situation isn’t avoidable, but by building up my emotional bank - I’m able to handle the unforeseen a little better than I would if my emotional bank was empty. Have you ever seen someone fly off the handle easily or cry hysterically over every little thing that happens to them? It’s probably because they have been emotionally overspending for a while now - and as a result, their emotional bank account is in the red.

There are too many instances in the past where I piled one dramatic situation on top of another which resulted in my emotional bank running low. So now I try to keep my emotional bank account as plentiful as possible. And since it feels so good to have extra emotional currency just sitting in the bank, I don’t plan on ever going in the red again. But if for some reason I do, I’ll make sure to stack my emotional coins back up before I purchase the next adventure.

P.S. - Soon I’ll share with you all the ways I stock up on my emotional currency in hopes of helping someone.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman