What I'm No Longer Praying For in the Midst of Chaos…
I remember being trapped in a horrible job situation or at a low point in life and feverishly praying for things to get better quickly, and all I got in return was the same situation…day after day. Of course we don’t get everything we pray for, for a reason, but that doesn’t stop the disappointment or frustration that comes with the wait. When going through burdensome times, I would often ask religious people how to pray, and some would tell me I had to constantly ask God for what I wanted. Others would advise me to tell God what I desired once, and patiently wait for the results. I tried both ways…..and I still felt out of alignment with prayer.
I believe that everything happens in due time, but the prayer situation still boggles my mind from time to time. So in an effort to ease some of my confusion, I talked to my mother about my concerns. She expressed that she had been having the same questions herself. She told me that she could remember as a youngster praying every single night, pleading with God to end the Vietnam War. Her prayers were eventually answered, 10 YEARS LATER.
I am an extremely spiritual person, and I wholeheartedly believe in the power of prayer. I also believe God gave us the tools we need to bring forth what we desire; hence manifestation. But when someone is going through tough times, they don’t want to wait 10 years, 10 months, or even 10 minutes for their prayers to be answered. So after praying for some of the same things every single night without results, I felt the need to shift my prayer perspective. I’d been feeling this way for a while, and because I was ready to receive some guidance on this matter….it came.
During one of my usual Sunday morning rituals, I was searching for some teachings on YouTube when I ran across a TD Jakes’ sermon. I can’t remember what the entire sermon was about, but he definitely said some words that gave me the insight I was seeking. He spoke about Noah’s ark and how it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. He related that to the current struggles people go through and how they wait everyday to be released from them. And his advice for that was, “get comfortable and ride it out.” It was a “duh Sam!” moment for me. Jakes was basically saying, instead of constantly agonizing over your situation - just roll with it until it shifts. Of course it’s not that simple to do when you’re experiencing hardship, but it’s the best thing you can do at the moment because you’re in the storm for a reason. And if you endure, you will come out greater than you were before you went in. But you have to go through the process to get to the other side - no matter how long it takes. And if you abort the process too early, you may not reach your full potential. TD Jakes’ words reminded me of a line I read in The TAO of WU (thanks for the book recommendation Chris!). In that book, Rza (founding Wu-tang member) said that through experience he learned to trust chaos and confusion instead of judging it, fearing it, or trying to reach an immediate solution. He said that this was not only his secret to production, it’s also the secret to life. After listening to Jakes and reflecting on Rza’s words, everything began to make sense. Instead of trying to pray my way out of storms, I will accept what is, ride it out, and stay in alignment. Because the last thing I want to do is disrupt any incubation process that I am supposed to undergo in order to reach the next step of wisdom or blessings. I will no longer pray for storms to end, things to begin, or things to turn around. I will visualize the outcome I want, stay fixated on that vision, ask God to keep me in alignment, change my perspective, and bless me with the strength to hang in there until my shift comes. Remember, when you grapple with something it rebels, when you leave it alone it flows.
Both the beauty and scary part of life is that we don’t know what it will bring. However, what we do know is positive things will happen as will chaos. My prayer for you all and myself is that more positive shows up in our lives than chaos. And when the chaos comes, I pray that we trust it and view it as a breeding process necessary for our growth. May God grant us the endurance we need to ride these waves until calmer waters come.
Wave surfing,
- Samjah Iman
Outfit Details: Vintage Blazer // Jeans // Heels (old, similar here) // Purse (my mother’s closet)
Photography Credit: 87 Photography
