I No Longer Wear a Mask
I couldn’t stand my mask. Every chance I got to take it off, I was beyond relieved. I felt free, unrestricted – like I could let it all hang out. It was hard to express myself with a covering. I was just going through the motions like the rest of the world; covering up for fear of being exposed or exposing. When I had the mask
on, I often hoped someone could see the real me through my eyes. Then maybe they would become intrigued enough to ask for more of me. Sometimes, when no one was looking (usually in my own privacy or around family), I’d pull the mask down to show my own self a little more of me. I missed the real me when the mask was on, and I needed to make sure I was still there. I was. Behind that mask every bit of me was still intact – waiting to be freed. I came alive when that mask was off. I smiled harder, asked millions of questions, made funny faces, did goofy impressions. I even frowned here and there. Halfway through my sans-mask theatrics, I would begin to dread going back out into the real world because I knew I had to pull the mask back up in fear of judgment.
One day I got bold. I had enough of hiding. I decided to show my entire face. On that day I did not
give two damns about who saw me, who whispered about me, or even who stopped being my friend. I wanted to feel at home in my soul. I wanted to be who God intended me to be. So, I did just that. I ripped that mask off and came alive. And you better believe I was all of Sam and then some. I took the light I was given and flashed it every chance I got. And from that day forth, I never put that mask on again. It did not matter what the world was doing or what I would lose. I was only concerned about feeding the joy inside of me and what I would gain from doing so.
“Working pleasing me, cause I can’t please you, and that’s why I do what I do. ”
If you haven’t caught on just yet, I’m not talking about the mask I wear to block Covid and protect others from my germs (I wear that mask faithfully, okay?!). I’m talking about the mask I wore years before Covid. The one I used to wear to disguise my true self so that others would feel comfortable. I grew up surrounded by a culture that did not praise people for being who they were meant to be. In my school environment, the more you flaunted your true self – the more your peers envied you. They loved for you to wear a mask because they wore one so naturally themselves. Back then I did not know their hate had everything to do with them and nothing to do with me. I was a typical teenager who was finding herself but at the same time wanting to make friends with everyone. I quickly learned that one of those two things had to go. Either I was going to shine the light God granted me or dim it to try and fit in. After many trials and errors (even some current relapses here and there), I concluded that having only a select, few friends is enough; however, shinning my light and not wearing a mask is nonnegotiable. Those two things are essential for me to breathe.
“I was always too concerned about what everybody would think. But I can’t live for everybody. I got to live my life for me. ”
Every now and then I find myself reverting to that junior high girl who wanted everyone to like her. Then I check myself. I remember my purpose. I recall that taking off my mask and being who I’m truly meant to be not only feeds my soul, it also gives that next girl, boy, woman, or man permission to pull that mask down and show us their full face. Me sprinkling my spicy Sam dust on the world gives it that kick it needs. Because if we all put the same flavor in this world, how dull would it be? Give the world the real you, someone needs to see it to be the real them.
Keep your Covid masks on my babies, take the invisible ones off though.
- Samjah Iman
Outfit Details: Thou Shalt Tee // Shorts (Homemade) // Mules (sold out) // Hat
Photographer: Welch Inc Photography