Life Update: I Got To Step Back and Realign

Hold on….can we do the whole new year countdown thing again? I wasn’t ready!! I still have to meditate on my 2020 visions, clear my mind, get my Jeep washed (didn’t get a chance to do that but once in 2019- JUDGE NOT!), and clean out my closet! I mean….I knew the new year was on its way, and I was preparing for it and all. But I didn’t think it would appear four hours (yes I’m exaggerating) after I made the preparations!

Listen. January 2020 came on the scene like the Fugees - “ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide….gonna fiiiiiinnnnnnd you….” And find me it did, but I wasn’t trying to be discovered just yet. I’ve been running over here, jumping through there, and sliding everywhere else. I haven’t had the chance to just sit on the couch and gather my thoughts for the new year. I know what the deal is though. My 2019 has kind of spilled over into my 2020, and it’s no one’s fault but my own. You see, last year I was handing out a lot of yeses to everyone else and not enough to me. I realized I was operating from a scarcity mindset; therefore, I would take on extra tasks/jobs because I constantly told myself that I needed the money. And as a result, I was ripping and running and always doing something when I should have been focusing on aligning myself with my dreams and desires, having faith that what I need will appear (like it always does), then releasing control and letting my higher self intervene.

I’m constantly living and learning though, and this year I vowed to act on what I learn. So I’m going to first clean up these 2019 residuals then honor that vow. I’m stepping back and realigning myself with an abundant vibe. I’m no longer operating from the “I need money” standpoint. I will bask in the “I have exactly what I need and there’s no need for me to do the most” energy. Taking on too many tasks crowds my mind and doesn’t give me the space I need to dream, create, and hear my own thoughts. It also leaves me feeling rushed and unaccomplished.

I think about how even through the difficult phases in my life, I’ve always been taken care of. There’s not a time I’ve been without the essentials. But somehow I let a tiny bit of societal propaganda get in my head, and I started turning up only to be burnt out. This year I’m aware of what I need to be open to and what I need to pass on. I’m moving more strategically and getting back to dreaming. I will no longer focus on the things I need and don’t have, instead - I will operate in an abundant space and channel my energy toward the blessings that surround me daily. And after doing all of that, I will then sit back and marvel at how things will begin to fall right in place.

“Needing nothing attracts everything. ”

— Russell Simmons

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Crop Mock Sweater (Old similar here) // Midi Sweater Skirt (available in stores only at Zara ) // Red Wide Brim Hat

Picture Credit: 87 Photography

I Asked 25 People What They're Saying No To in 2020. Here Are Their Responses...

I learn something from every person I encounter. I’m intrigued by getting into people’s minds and listening to their perspectives on life because it expands my understanding. So I decided to randomly ask 25 people (male and female, minorities and majorities) what they planned on saying NO to in 2020 (and of course I included my response in the bunch). I wasn’t seeking any new year’s resolutions from my subjects. Instead, my goal was to see what they plan to disassociate themselves from as a result of their 2019 experiences. I didn’t give them a topic nor did I tell most of them their responses would be on my blog. I just popped the question during casual conversation, and you better believe the answers were not only organic - but interesting to say the least.

I know what some of you may be thinking - why focus on what you’re going to say no to instead of what you are going to say yes to? I get it. But isn’t saying no to some things kind of the same as saying yes to some things? For example, if I vow to say no to processed sugar for 2020, doesn’t that actually mean I’m saying yes to a somewhat healthier way of eating? Yup, it does. So put your positive police badge down for a second and get into these very entertaining and insightful responses below. You may be inspired to incorporate some of these answers in your 2020 journey.

“What will you be saying NO to in 2020?”

S.J - “I’m saying no to procrastination.”

M.B. - “Settling.”

J.J. - “A circle that’s not beneficial.”

M.M. - “Fuckery!”

B.R. - “I’m saying no to people who steal my good energy.”

T.G. - “I’m saying no to spam emails…..hitting that unsubscribe button with the quickness!”

K..L. - “I’m saying no to yesterday.”

M.S. - “I ain’t saying no to nothing unless it’s something I need to say no to.”

T.S. - “Anything that no longer suits the life I want to live.”

H.L. - “You.”

J.K. - “I’m saying no to brownnosing to make insecure adults feel good. Their self-esteem is their job.”

Y.H. - “Events without food.”

T.R. - “Social media bandwagons.”

C.S. - “I’m saying no to standing in my own damn way!”

A.C. - “Broke men!”

C.R. - “I’m saying no to people who want to vent without being constructive.”

B.S. - “This job and bacon.”

P.S. - “I’m saying no to being impatient. We can mess up the process when we move too fast and don’t let things take root.”

N.B. - “Unhealthy food….it’s time out for that shit.”

T.G. - “Cheap liquor.”

R.E. - “Feeling the need to laugh at not-so-funny jokes so things won’t get awkward.”

S.S. - “People pleasing, I’m done trying to make people comfortable while making myself uncomfortable. Oh, and I’m also saying no without an explanation in most situations. No means no, and that’s all you need to know.”

W.H. - “I’m saying no to group texts that I didn’t ask to be a part of.”

D.F. - “I’m definitely saying no to playing small and to anything that doesn’t serve me.”

G.J. - I’m rebuking ice-cream in 2020. It’s the devil! Okay….no I’m not, Guess I need to say no to lying in 2020, huh?”

And there you have it, 25 things from 25 people that are being thrown out of the window this year. May your 2020 be filled with all the peace and more blessings than you can stand!

Outfit Details: Retired Hot Girl Sweatshirt

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Act Like You Know Better

Remember when our mothers used to warn us against touching hot stoves? We knew our mothers were telling the truth, but curiosity got the best of us so we had to touch the stove to see for ourselves. And when we touched it, we discovered what we already knew - that the stove was the temperature of hell. We knew better, but our carnal side won the battle. And it oftentimes still does. In 2019 I touched a few hot stoves against my better judgment. I made some moves that put me in some great positions and some moves I knew better than to make but did it anyway, and you better believe I paid the tolls for those decisions. So if someone were to ask me what’s the one thing I plan on doing in 2020 as a result of my experiences in 2019, I’d proudly answer them by saying, “I plan on “acting like I know better.”

If 2019 showed me nothing else, it definitely showed me that my past lessons, wisdom, and intuition are definitely my most promising guides. The consequences of not acting on the knowledge I possess cost me a lot of time and energy that I can’t afford to carelessly give away in 2020. I’m competent enough to know (in most cases) what actions produce favorable and unfavorable results, and I’m not only just holding that knowledge in my head in 2020, I’m acting on it as well.

Life is rolling, and it’s time out for games, serial mistakes, people who drain you, unhealthy relationships and food, uncomfortable jeans, procrastination, no sleep, immaturity, etc. Most of us are at the point now where we’ve gotten a few life experiences under our belt and as a result, we know what makes us happy, what makes us crazy, what’s good for us, and what isn’t. Of course we won’t get it right all the time, and we can’t control everything that will happen in life - but for the stuff we can control we need to exercise the wisdom that we’ve gained from our previous life experiences.  We always hear people say “look for the lesson in everything,” and I totally agree with this perspective. But let’s not only look for the lessons in everything, let’s implement what we’ve learned from those lessons. Because learning something new is half the battle, but exercising what you’ve learned is winning the war. Let’s not only say we are going to do better in the new year, let’s act like it.

“When you know better, you do better.”

— Maya Angelou

Happy Holidays S&E Family! Whatever you normally do during this time of the year, make sure you incorporate a little relaxation and reflection into that routine. We all need it. I’ll holler at you guys soon!

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Outfit Details: Vintage Leather Coat // Vintage Jeans // White Booties

The Observation Phase

I’m currently in an observation phase. A couple of weeks ago I got to a point where I felt like I had missed some spiritual signs and other good lessons because I’ve been too busy reacting and talking instead of watching and listening. So I decided to step back and just monitor my environment and the people in it. And so far, I’ve gathered some pretty enlightening and essential information.

I’ve been watching some things grow, watching a few situations evolve, watching some people interact, and watching some people reveal their true selves. And it’s amazing how much stuff you learn once you decide to close your mouth and open your eyes and ears. Before this observation phase, I used to think asking questions was one of the most effective ways for me to gather information….I was kind of right and kind of wrong. While asking questions does feed my curiosity, observation feeds my spirit. Let me explain.

Have you ever heard the quote, “Needing nothing attracts everything?” Well I’ve been shown that this quote can also be applied to the need to know things. Once I decided to give up the need to know who people really were and everything that was happening or going to happen, things were acutely revealed. This observation tactic ties into what I’ve been stressing on this blog over and over (and yes it’s still taking me some time to apply this tactic, but I’m on the right path)…..once we give up the need to control things, our inner God intervenes - and that’s when things begin to come together how they should. This observation phase is definitely helping me become more comfortable with my silence. It’s pushing me to exercise my faith muscles, and it’s giving me the mental rest I need. It’s also teaching me the profound art of waiting (which is what we will be doing most of our lives) and showing me that everything is revealed when it’s supposed to be revealed.

My grandmother used to say, “if you’re supposed to know something, you’ll find out.” Granny was definitely on point. Because mostly everything that I’ve needed to know thus far has found me without me having to seek it. This is why I wholeheartedly believe that what’s meant for a person won’t pass them…..especially if they are aware and have their ears, eyes, and heart open to receive it.

So zip up your lips for a second, open your ears/eyes/heart, grab your popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the show…..you’'ll get to the climax of the story sooner or later.

Enjoying this spiritual view,

- Samjah Iman

P.S. - Oh and during this observation phase, I’m also learning that being equally yoked not only applies to your romantic relationships….it also applies to your FRIENDSHIPS as well. Stay tuned ya’ll!!!

Outfit Details: Tie Dye Dress // Heels (sold out, similar here)

Releasing the Grip

Despite what the world says or what social media messages may drill in our minds, I’m learning that the most effective way to live life is by letting it be. Yes we have the power to manifest beautiful things in our lives, but we also need to learn the balance of controlling what we can and letting the rest flow however it’s meant to flow. Most of the stress we create in our lives comes from trying to control a situation. If you take a second and think about a stressful issue occurring right now in your life, you will probably discover that you’re adding more stress to the situation by constantly trying to control it, or figure out how to make it better, or how to stop it. And what you really need to do is release your grip, and let it go (I’m preaching to me on this one).

For the past few years I’ve been enduring a tough but much needed lesson on learning how to take my hands off certain situations and letting them be. I’m always trying to figure out how I can speed the process up, help the process out, or get rid of the process all together. I’m constantly thinking that maybe I’m not doing enough, or maybe I should have said this, or maybe I just need to add a little more of that to make it better. When in actuality, all I’m doing is interfering with the natural/spiritual process that is taking part on my behalf. It seems when I’m constantly trying to make something work, it moves further away from me. But when I release it, it works out how it’s supposed to work out when I least expect it.

The other day while going back and forth in my head over an issue, I was reminded of some simple yet sound advice my father gave me years ago that can be applied to any situation. Back then I was battling some acne issues which made me obsessed with every product that claimed to rid my face of the hideous critters. I would walk around the house every night with about 20 creams on my face then follow those up with some new mask. I did this religiously for about two weeks but nothing seemed to help. One night, with a white mask caked on my face, I walked into the kitchen - passing my father up in the living room - to get a snack. My father, whom I’m assuming was tickled at the sight of his daughter resembling a mime, took one look at my face and smirked. Just as I was about to head back to my domain, he stopped me and said, “you know the bumps will eventually go away if you just leave them alone and stop focusing on them.” In typical teenage fashion, I rolled my eyes and continued on the journey to my room to sulk. But his words sat with me. The next day, I didn’t use any of the masks or creams I accumulated, nor did I use them the day after that, or the day after that. I just did the simple tasks of washing, toning, and moisturizing. I also made it my business not to stare at the bumps in the mirror every chance I got, and just like daddy said - they eventually went away.

I’m not telling you guys to give up on your endeavors. I’m simply saying declare what you want, control the part you can control, then release your grip and watch life work its magic. By doing so you allow all the bumps to work themselves out, and eventually things will change. And what's for you, will come to you.

Releasing the Grip,

- Samjah Iman

P.S. - I don’t have any outfit details on this look because I purchased it from a garage sale!! Sweet huh?! But what I do have is some info on a cool event happening during Essence Festival! The one practice that has been keeping my stress levels low, teaching me meditation, discipline, and the art of being still is yoga. And this year my yoga community (Magnolia Yoga Studio - Nola’s 1st black owned yoga studio) is kicking off Essence Fest weekend with a super cool yoga event! See below!

For more information on tickets, visit their website.

Oh and a couple days after the yoga event, come see your girl on the panel at Brunch for the Soul. I’ll be there stuffing my face and speaking from my spirit! Details below!

Purchase tickets, here.

See some of ya’ll at Essence 2019!

Self-care Isn't Always Fun

Self-care is a big topic these days, and rightfully so. Almost every other magazine, blog, and social media post focuses on the crucial subject. I’ve joined in on the hoopla as well. I’ve given out suggestions on how to feed your soul , put yourself first, and all that cute crap. It wasn’t until the other day during one of my mother/daughter venting sessions when I zeroed in on the fact that self-care isn’t always fun.

When most think of self-care their brain automatically goes to hour long massages, picture-worthy beach vacations, Blue Bell cookies and cream ice-cream while deep couch sitting, pedicures with a side of Pinot Noir, alone time, a page-turner book, exercising, etc. However, that’s just one side of the self-care movement. There’s another side - a side that isn’t so pretty…..a side that forces you to make gut wrenching decisions that look bizarre to others in the present time, but benefits you wholeheartedly in the future. The type of self-care I’m referring to forces you to say enough is enough, even when your heart wants to hand out 50 more chances. The self-care I’m talking about sometimes ignores what the body is saying and chooses to be alone for a while so that healing and spiritual realignment can properly take place.

I remember listening to Lauryn Hill’s song When It Hurts So Bad off her debut album for the first time at 16 years old. I would play the song over and over attempting to wrap my mind around why Lauryn thought that something which hurt so bad felt so good. Then in my 20s, I played the song repeatedly and concluded that she must be talking about something going wrong in a relationship and being torn between two lovers…..”what you want might make you cry, and what you need might pass you by…..if you don’t catch it.'“ One of the many things I dig about art is that it evokes different emotions and different interpretations from every consumer. That’s the sole purpose of it. I also like that if you keep coming back to the same art (music, writings, paintings, etc.), it will mean different things to you at different times in your life. I played Lauryn’s song the other night for the first time in a minute. I listened intently to the words….and I had my “aha” moment. At this time in my life, I believe Lauryn’s song speaks directly to self-care. Her lyrics, “when it hurts so bad, why does it feel so good” , in my opinion depict tough decisions you have to make that sting like hell momentarily, but are ultimately good for you in the long run. This message not only applies to romantic relationships, it applies to all relationships whether it be friendships or business relationships.. It can also be applied to life decisions, health decisions, money decisions, etc. Sometimes you have to be willing to miss out on some things, be the only one standing up for some things, say no to a lot of popular things, and walk away from some exciting things in order to take care of yourself. Sometimes you have to endure the pain now, so that it won’t hurt later. Self-care isn’t always fun. Sometimes it comes with a hefty price tag. But what I’ve learned over time and what I’m still learning is to pay it up front, and reap the investment later. There are a lot of people walking around this earth who didn’t pay the price in the beginning, and the result? Well, they’re bankrupt now.

Paying it upfront,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: White Top

The Best Thing You Can Do Is....Nothing

I’m stagnant at the moment in regards to my ambitions and goals. I’m not failing, but I feel like I’m not progressing either - or at least I can’t see it. I’ve planted over 100 seeds in the ground, and it seems not one of them has yet to even peep through the dirt. Prior to writing this blog post, each and everyday I would think of something I could do to get some momentum going; however, nothing worked. Everything seemed contrived.

I went to a hot yoga class last week to relieve some stress, and it seemed to have been the hardest yoga class I had experienced all year. In between poses, almost the entire class was huffing, puffing, and fidgeting - attempting to persevere. The instructor noticed our restless exhaustion and said, “the best thing you can do in between poses is nothing….conserve your energy.” Her words got the wheels in my head turning. I began to analyze and compare my current yoga circumstance to what was going on in my life. The hard yoga poses were similar to the goals I’m trying to reach. The moments in between the poses symbolized the times when nothing is happening which makes me anxious to get to the next pose or the next step in life because the waiting process is agonizing. But (as the teacher put it) in doing nothing during that process I allow myself the time to just exist in the moment, as well as prepare myself mentally and physically for the next pose - or for what’s to come in life.

After making it through that yoga class and allowing the teacher’s words to sit in my spirit, I came to the conclusion that the best action for my current state is no action at all. It takes a great deal of faith (that I sometimes lack) to take my hands off everything and just be. I told myself that if I really trust what I’ve manifested, did my part, and believed that it will come to pass - then I should have no problem embracing this current intermission. Now is the time for me to sit back and let my angels work while I rest more, research more, be lazy, enjoy Sunday mornings, people watch, polish my nails while jamming to Leikeli47, take long baths surrounded by candles, catch up on some documentaries, sit in silence, etc. Because if I haven’t learned anything else about life, I’ve definitely learned that change is inevitable…nothing stays the same. And I’ve also learned that if you try to force things to happen, you interfere with life’s beautiful process which results in even more setbacks.

When you get the chance to restore and revitalize, take advantage of it - because before you know it…the yogi will be saying, “next pose!”

Being still,

- Samjah Iman

P.S. - This slip dress was given to me by my mother….she’s had it since the 90’s.

Sustaining the planet one recycled garment at a time.

10 Ways to Feed Your Soul

A lot has transpired in the world over the past couple of weeks. Rapper/Community Advocate Nipsey Hussle was gunned down in his neighborhood which left our culture and the Hip Hop world in complete disarray. There’s a lot to be said about his demise, the impact/legacy his life will have on our society and Hip Hop going forward, and how we can play our part in this paradigm shift - but right now we desperately need to fill up on some SOUL FOOD. There are so many things sucking the life out of us at this moment. News reports, social media posts, and a whole lot of chatter has us going in various directions mentally. We all need to take a step back and fill up.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about feeding yourself constantly. With all that’s going on and all there is to come, I want to hone in on that topic and share some things that I believe are good TO and FOR your soul. I’m sure a lot of you may do some (if not all) of these things already. - you just probably don’t refer to it as “feeding your soul.” But anything that feels good to you and doesn’t hurt you or anyone in the process is feeding your soul. Get into my tips below.

Laugh and hold a good conversation with a loved one - There’s nothing like kicking your feet up and reminiscing with a friend about the crazy things you guys used to do in the past, or sharing your dreams with a person who has your best interest at heart, or laughing until your stomach hurts with a family member. Moments like these reboot your love meter and give you the release you so desperately need every now and then.

Read or listen to some inspiring words - You don’t have to open a book to read some inspiring words (although I recommend you do). Now days you can google a certain motivational topic or click on your YouTube app to hear some inspiring words. This has everything to do with monitoring what you monitor. You have to watch what you are letting seep into your psyche. The more you ingest empowering information, the more soulFULL you will be.

Give out flowers - No you don’t have to go to the plant store to do this one. I’m referring to speaking words of beauty to your loved ones or strangers. If you feel someone is doing a good job, let them know you’re proud. You think that guy has on some cool shoes? Tell him! You like her hair? Compliment her! The world can be so harsh, and your words and gestures can help heal it. Giving out flowers metaphorically is gratifying and therapeutic. Putting beautiful phrases and words in the atmosphere creates some good energy which eventually comes back to you.

Look for the good in every situation - The Kirk Franklin song, Blessing in the Storm has a whole lot of truth to it. When you’re looking for the good and the blessing in every situation, you’ll find it. Sometimes the blessing is harder to find than other times, but it’s there. When you operate with this type of mentality, burdens won’t look the same as they did before - and as a result, your soul will eventually become lighter and lighter.

Breathe - In yoga class, the teacher always tells us to rely on our breath. When the poses become challenging, breathing helps us through them. This applies to life as well. Taking a second to breathe deeply throughout your day is calming and rejuvenating which puts you at ease; therefore, benefiting your soul. `

Eat a good meal AND some dessert - Don’t go overboard with food, but don’t deprive yourself either. Have a good meal and some dessert every now and then. We are often eating on the go and trying to fit a crappy meal in wherever we can. Every once in a while sit down and truly enjoy a full course meal. Then get under your comfortable blanket, turn on your favorite TV show, and savor that piece of chocolate cake. Life is short, treat yourself here and there - your soul definitely smiles when you do.

Watch a movie that makes you feel good - No horror movies or mind boggling dramas….watch a movie that makes you tingle inside like Love Jones or that makes you fall out on the floor laughing like Bad Boys (yup, I’m stuck in the 90’s). It doesn’t matter if you’ve seen it 100 times already…souls love familiarity.

Jam out to some good music - Listen, a good Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, or Goodie Mob song will have me going to church! And don’t let some Frankie Beverly and Maze come on then I’m two-stepping all over my kitchen floor! You know that feeling you get when your jam comes on, and something compels you to close your eyes, tilt your head back, and let out a joyous groan? Yup, that’s your soul saying you’ve hit the spot! Whether it’s discovering new music or listening to that old faithful tune that you know pulls on your heart strings - you need it. Music gets us through hard times, helps us to celebrate happy times, and gives us hope for better days to come.

Connect with nature - There’s nothing like rocking in an antique chair on a relic porch. There’s something spiritual and invigorating about it. Currently I don’t have a porch, so the other day I sat outside on the steps of a building for 10 minutes. I let the sun cover my face as I smiled at people strolling by. When I got up from the steps to go to my next destination, I felt satisfied. Being out in nature refreshes your soul. Connecting with the natural elements puts you in a better mood and soothes your mind. You don’t have to spend hours outside, just take a brief walk or sit outside for a second when the weather permits. You’ll surely reap the benefits.

Give/Help someone - I once read a quote from Janelle Monáe that resonated with me. She said, “I’m a believer that the more I am giving, the happier I am, and the more beautiful my exterior will be.” Janelle ain’t lying ya’ll! Giving is medicine for the soul. It’s healing. To see someone’s face light up when you do an unexpected, good deed is an incredibly unmatched feeling. When you give, you’re not only benefiting that person or organization that you’re helping - you’re benefiting yourself as well.

When we feed our souls, the world and everyone around us will benefit. Stay soulFULL my people.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Photo Credit: keithshoots.com

Acknowledge Each Stroke

Let me tell ya’ll….hustling and chasing these goals and ambitions can be IRRITATING!!! I got frustrated the other day because the work has been wearing me out (and because of this daylight saving time mess)! It’s like I’ve been in this intense grind for a minute, doing everything in my power to make things happen, and the big picture still hasn’t come together. Yes I understand that seeds take time to grow, and everything happens in due time, and blah, blah, blah. But that doesn’t stop me from tripping out from time to time…..hey, I’m human.

To deal with this feeling, I decided to open up one of my notebooks that holds my scribble scrabbles, notes, and ambitions. I flipped through the pages desperately seeking inspiration and in the process, I stumbled upon a list I wrote last year entitled 2018 Business Goals. I went down the list out of curiosity and came to a halt when I got to number 14.

Sometime in 2018, I wrote (among other goals) that I wanted to participate on panels at blogger workshops and conferences. When I read that goal, I smiled. I thought about that since writing that particular goal down, I’ve been invited to participate on three panels and have one more scheduled at the end of the month. If I had any doubt prior to opening up that notebook, it vanished soon after.

I wanted to post this on my blog not only for myself, but for you guys too. The first point I want to make is - writing stuff down and manifesting is real. I cannot stress that enough. I didn’t reach out to any brand to be on any panels. I just put the work in on my brand, and obviously the right people were watching. I forgot I had even written this particular goal on paper until I decided to open up my notebook out of frustration - now fast forward to 2019, and I’m doing what I wrote down in that notebook. It may not look exactly how I pictured it…but nevertheless, it came to pass.

“Write it down on real paper with a real pencil. And watch shit get real. ”

— Erykah Badu

The second point I want to make is - stop focusing on the big picture so much and praise yourself for the small steps you have conquered. Because I’m not where I want to be, my work began to feel in vain. But after opening that notebook and seeing that I accomplished a small part of the plan that I set out to conquer, I suddenly felt like all of my hustling is worth it.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

— Chinese Proverb

Think of your life as a picture you are about to paint. You set the blank canvas on the easel, do one stroke, look at the picture, then get frustrated because it’s not all there. It doesn’t make a lick of sense to get frustrated since you’ve only done one stroke, right? Exactly! But this is how we act when it comes to our goals! We do a few strokes (or hustles) and get mad when the picture doesn’t look complete (guilty as charged!)…..but if we take a moment to acknowledge that one stroke we just made and understand that it is a crucial component to the complete picture we are trying to paint - we will view it and celebrate it differently.

I have to remind myself constantly that in order to create the big picture, I have to do the small strokes. And without those small strokes, there will be no big picture.

Let’s concentrate on getting that one stroke right today, then hitting that other stroke tomorrow, then the other one the day after that. Then one day we will look up and the big picture will be staring us right in the face.

 Stroking,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Shorts Jumpsuit // Nikes

It's about the Lessons

I recently sat on a self-esteem panel for an organization called Sisters in Power. When it was my turn to answer a question from the audience I was asked, “if you could go back and start your life over again, what would you change and why?” Before I answered the question, I sat there on the panel fidgeting with the mic while contemplating my honest answer. Everything from failed relationships to student loans came rushing to mind, and for a split second I could understand why some would absolutely choose a do over. But then I thought about how the only way I know the bulk of what I know about life today is through trial and error, and if I did choose to go back and do it differently, I would still make mistakes. So I put the mic close to my mouth and proudly spoke these words to the audience, “If I could go back, I would not change anything.” It’s not about what you’ve endured and the mistakes you’ve made, it’s about the lessons.

There was a time I would be highly upset when things didn’t go as I had plan. I would regret the situation and pout about the outcome. Then I got some sense. I realized that every situation I encountered shaped me into the person I am today. Without the choices I’ve made in the past, I don’t know where I would be or even who I would be for that matter. Every ignorant thing I’ve ever said, the hot pot I touched, the too small shoes I purchased, every right or wrong turn I’ve ever taken, the relationship that didn’t work out, and every person I’ve ever met has all taught me valuable lessons.

Now days when I encounter challenging situations, I have a totally different attitude. I don’t wallow in the fact that something didn’t go my way or that something ended. I take my time to feel what I need to feel about the situation, then ask myself, “what did you learn, and what are you going to do about it?”

Every situation, every choice, and everything you did or didn’t do and did or didn’t receive has afforded you some knowledge. The next time you experience a tough situation (or even a good one), instead of frantically stressing over the results, ask yourself, “what did I learn from this, and what am I going to do with the lesson?”

Remember, life is the most impactful classroom we will ever step in.

“You live, you learn.”

— Alanis Morissette

Thank you Sisters in Power for inviting me to be on the panel! I was so honored to share the stage with some extremely astute, talented, and fun individuals - including one of my favorite rappers - Mia X!!

Left to right: Dee Rouzan, Denisa, Me, Mia X, Reg Rob, Dr. Bristol, Cierra Johnson

Check out some highlights from the panel here! And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram to check out my style choices and day to day situations!! Til next time!

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Shaggy Cardigan (sold out, similar here) // Vintage Jeans // Yellow Pumps

Just Be

A friend and I have been having several intense conversations on the art of just being.  Through our talks, we’ve come to the celebrated conclusion that we really don’t have to do too much….life will take care of itself. 

Now don’t get it twisted - this type of “just being” doesn’t mean to sit and do absolutely nothing.  The type of “just being” we were discussing means living in your truth, trusting that the space you’re in is where you are supposed to be at the moment, and believing that what is meant will be. 

Whether it’s relationships/friendships, careers, hustles, goals, etc. – all you have to do is control what you can control and let the rest unfold.  To support this “just being” theory, my friend and I thought back to the times when we had to force certain feelings, when we jumped the gun and took matters (that were clearly out of our control) into our own hands, how we pushed ourselves to grow weary of situations prematurely instead of waiting for our true feelings to surface which in turn aborted a valuable lesson that needed to be learn, and how we jumped through hundreds of hoops to make situations change instead of being still and waiting on the Divine to step in.  Reminiscing on all of those times helped us to come to the simple conclusion that “doing the most” breeds stress and goes against our faith.  But by “just being” - we are accepting what is and trusting the process that leads to what will be.

Just think back to the times in life when you kept going overboard for something or you made a move before it was your time, and the results weren’t favorable.  Also think back to a time when you took your hands off of a situation and trusted that it would be handled….and just like that – whatever you needed handled, got handled….and if it didn’t, it wasn’t what you needed anyway.   

I’m not sure about you all, but it seems the more I “just be” - the easier things flow.  I’ve learned over the years that I don’t have to get even with anyone, I don’t have to go overboard, I don’t have to show anyone who I am, nor do I have to prove my worth.  All I have to do is handle what I can handle, stay in tuned with my faith, and just be.  And my just being and playing my part allows the Universe/God to do what it does best - intervene…..and everything falls where it’s supposed to. 

Just being,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: The Bedstuy Brim Hat // Black Crop Top (Old, H&M) // Black Jeans // Stan Smith Adidas

Something Always Shakes

I celebrated 37 years on the planet this past Monday. When I woke up that morning, I asked myself - “What significant lessons have you learned in 37 years?” Of course I came up with quite a few things like, 1. Follow my gut. 2. Consistency is the key. 3. Jeans without spandex or some type of stretch in them are useless. 4. Plastic shoes will deteriorate, but quality purses will last. 5. I should not consume Hennessy before 11 am (blame is on Mardi Gras). 6. Less is more. 7. Rest is spiritual. 8. Depleting yourself is not. 9. You find what you are looking for (good and bad). and 10. Something will always shake. I repeated the last one because that lesson stuck out to me the most….something will always shake.

I can’t tell you how many times over the last 37 years that I’ve been stressed or gone through hardships that I thought would never get better. And every single time I thought it was the end, something shook…for the good. Of course when I was going through it, it didn’t seem like it would ever end…but eventually it did. Then the next hardship would rear its ugly head, and I’ll go right back into my “this will never end tantrum”…but eventually that hardship went away too….and so did the next one, and the next one, and the one after that. It’s taken me 37 years (and will probably take some more) to realize that no matter what it is I am faced with - something will shake the situation, and it will change. It may not change during the time I’d like it to change, but it will turn around at the perfect time.

So for my 37th year on this planet, I’m vowing to exercise my faith muscle more, stress less, and remember that no matter how scary the situation looks….it will eventually pass because….something always shakes.

Peace and Blessings,

- The Birthday Girl

Oh and I forgot to tell you guys to check out this quick interview I did with Vintage Magazine….I think you all will enjoy it!

Thank you all for rocking with me!! xoxo

Picture Credit: Hidden Productions, LLC

I PACED Myself

Three years ago on this day, I sat down to write my first blog post for Style & Energy. I had no end goal in mind, nor did I have big plans for the blog. I just wanted to write, share my life experiences in hopes of motivating someone, and provide outfit inspiration. I put my all into this blog, and I did it without any finish line in mind. Three years later, and this blog has grown tremendously….actually more than I thought it would - and the biggest thing that has helped me along this journey is the simple fact that I PACED MYSELF.

When I used to run track for conditioning purposes only, I was always inclined to do the long distance run in a hurry. I wanted to get to the finish line as quick as possible. Every time I would take off sprinting so that I could get my laps over with and be ahead of everyone, my coach would holler at me from the field and say, “Pace yourself Saulsberry!” I didn’t get it. Until one day I found myself off to the side of the track, bent over with my hands on my knees…heaving and trying to catch any breathe I could find. When I finally got some energy to lift my head and see what was happening on the track, I saw my teammates jogging steadily like they didn’t have a care in the world. They ended up lapping me (the girl who was in such a hurry) several times. And as soon as I was able to get back on that track, you better believe I took my time and ran at my own pace. And not only did it help me with building stamina and conditioning for sports, it also helped me with building stamina and conditioning for life.

If this blog (and track practice) has taught me nothing else, it has definitely shown me the true essence of the verse, “The race is not given to the swift, but to the one who endureth till the end.” You are not in competition with anyone. THIS IS NOT A RACE! Your goals are your goals, no one else’s. Burning yourself out to achieve them will get you no where fast, but pacing yourself allows you to build the stamina you need to keep going through it all.

So let the other people jump out on the track and hit it fast…..just keep pacing yourself and see what happens. You’ll lap them soon enough.

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Dress // Heels

Granting MYSELF Mercy

I’ve formed an interesting habit over my 36 years of living, and it just hit me in the face recently.  Someone said to me, “so and so was being mean the other day.” And my immediate, robotic response was, “maybe they just had a bad day and really didn’t know how to channel their anger.”  Those words came flying out of my mouth without me even thinking.  My friend responded, “You’re always taking up for everyone.” I fixed my mouth for a snappy comeback (I am my father’s child) but then something made me stop and think.  My friend was right.  I do tend to give ALMOST every person the benefit of the doubt and all the grace and mercy in the world.  That’s who I am for the most part.  But that is not what I want to change.  The part that made me stop dead in my tracks and go hmmmmmm was the fact that I give all of this grace and mercy to human beings I really don’t know half of the time.  But when it comes to me, I’m cut throat.  Where they do that at??

Self-love….I preach it all the time, but then turn around and scold myself for missing a comma or criticize myself for saying the wrong words to a person.  But if another person does it, I’m quick to forgive and extend any mercy I have.  But when I do it – I don’t let up on myself for anything.  THIS HAS GOT TO STOP! 

The one thing that burns me up is when people say, “Sam, I can’t believe you did that!”  I don’t get mad because of what they said; I get mad because I’m trying to hold myself to a standard they have created in THEIR heads.  To.HELL.WITH.THAT!  I am human.  I will not get everything right.  I will not always have the right words.  I will spell something wrong, miss a comma, mispronounce a word, forget something, miss a step, use curse words, etc.  And that is okay.  I was not put on this earth to reach perfection.  I was put here to live, make mistakes, learn from my mistakes, and help others when I can.  So I’m going to do myself a favor and gracefully step away from the perfectionism I’ve placed on myself.  If I can be merciful when others fall short, I can damn sure do the same for myself….besides, I love Sam way more than I do them – so why not take it easy on her?            

Evolving,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Black Crop Top (Old, American Apparel) // Vintage Mom Jeans // Red Mules (sold out similar here) // Vintage Leather Coat

Photo Credit: Hidden Productions

I Don’t Do New Year’s Resolutions, But If I Did…

Ya’ll can have all of that New Year new me rigmarole. And please keep your resolutions far away from me because they make me itch.  Resolutions actually restrict me. I’m constantly evolving, growing, and reinventing myself daily therefore I have nothing to resolve when December 31st comes around.  BUT….if for some strange reason I wanted to renege and join our conformed society in making resolutions, I would declare for 2019 that I will not be forcing anything.

If 2018 did nothing else, it showed me that what’s for me will come to me.  Last year I did some pushing, pulling, tugging, kicking, etc.….and when it was all said and done, I came out of some situations stressed and mentally tired.  Then towards the end of the year I began to really connect with my intuition, control only what I could control, and let go of situations that were out of my reach - and once I started those rituals, the most miraculous things began happening.  Circumstances became easier to deal with, my environment became more peaceful, and things began to fall into place. 

It reminded me of one of the times I tried to go swimming in an ocean.  There I was in my one-piece, high-cut bathing suit and aviator sunglasses, trying to look cute and stay above the waves all at the same time.  I fought those waves like nobody’s business and came out with seaweed in my hair and missing sunglasses.  After being nearly taken under by a wave, I took a break to go sit in the sand and gather myself.  Those waves had gotten the best of me, but I was not giving up.  After all, I had some expensive sunglasses I needed to locate.  When I got back into the water and the first wave came rolling my way, I immediately braced myself for war.  But then something told me just to let go and swim with the current…and that’s what I did.  And from then on, I flowed.  Wherever the water took me, I went…and it was beautiful and way less stressful.  Did I ever find my glasses?  Nope. But what I did find was peace with the current – and that in itself was worth those sunglasses.     

In 2019, I’m flowing - not forcing.  I’m making peace with the current (i.e. life) and letting it take me wherever it wants to take me…..and my only obligation will be to make sure I enjoy the ride.

Happy New Year loves!   

- Samjah Iman

Photo Credit: Courtney Pittman of courtneypittman.com

 Outfit Details: Gold Neck Plunging Dress (Boohoo.com - sold out) // Ankle Strap Shoes

Taking A Second to Reconnect

Think about how you feel when you haven’t been treating your body like you know you should. For instance…if you haven’t been eating right, exercising, or getting enough rest - you feel sluggish or drained…..maybe even stressed, right? That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. However, it has nothing to do with my body but everything to do with my energy.

For the past five years it feels like I’ve been driving my car nonstop, at a high speed with my hands swaying wildly in the air. Since 2013, I’ve been taking pictures each week, faithfully. Since 2016, I’ve been writing every week (multiple times a week) for different publications. I’ve been running from event to event, jumping through hoops to make hustles happen, and saying yes to everyone more than I’ve been saying it to myself. My fuel meter keeps blinking, indicating that it’s time to parallel park this thing and chill - or risk running out of gas. So before my energy completely plummets, I’m going to make sure I take a minute to breathe and fill my cup back up.

In order to keep my style and energy ever-blooming, I must take a step back so that I can reconnect with myself. I’m going to take these next two weeks to sit in silence, be vigilant, do some deep breathing, reflect, laugh, be lazy, read, write, meditate, plan, create, enjoy loved ones, and simplify some things in my world.

“As an artist, your physical self is as much part of your business as the actual art. Treat yourself as such. ”

— @bzthevoice

Carving out time to center yourself and simplify your surroundings helps you to reconnect with your purpose and quiet your mind so that you can clearly hear from the Divine. If we keep going and going and going without taking moments to come back to the middle (our core/center), we tend to lose sight of our why and miss vital, spiritual signs that are placed all throughout our individual worlds in order to aid us on our journey.

If you’ve been all over the place this year or for the last few years, I advise you to take a moment to just do you as well. When you treat yourself right, the world benefits.

Have the most wonderful Holiday EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace and Love!

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Ruffle Sleeve Top (Forever 21 in-store) // Skirt (old) // Floral Booties // Chanel Brooch

I'm Thankful For Unanswered Prayers

True to the holiday spirit, I am currently zeroing in on all the things I am grateful for. After pondering over my many blessings I can honestly say that during this season of my life, one of the biggest blessings I am truly thankful for are all the things I didn’t receive. I have (by the grace of God) dodged SEVERAL bullets thanks to unanswered prayers.

Let me tell ya’ll….there are so many things I thought I wanted in the past that I am so glad I didn’t get. But at that time, all I could see was what I wanted. I didn’t care about the consequences that came with the things I wanted, or if I was mentally prepared for those consequences, or what type of lifestyle the things I wanted would have yielded. All I knew in the moment was that I wanted what I asked for, and today I can thankfully say that I’m so glad God is much more aware than I am - and that He gives according to my needs and what I’m ready for.

Every blessing we want comes with a price tag. Sometimes the blessing is affordable, and sometimes we are in over our heads. When I think back on some of the stuff I prayed for, I now realize that those situations may have been too costly therefore causing me to stress or lose sight of my purpose. At the time when we are asking for blessings and don’t receive them, we automatically become angry or discouraged. We may even lose a little faith. But what I am continuously learning everyday of my life is EVERYTHING that I either lost or didn’t receive was for my good. Some unanswered prayers taught me a lesson I needed to learn, some made me a stronger person for the trials I would later face, some made me a better friend, and some made me more appreciative.

Every unanswered prayer can’t be explained, but trust there’s a reason for it. So while you’re reflecting on your blessings this Thanksgiving Holiday, remember to think about the blessings you thought you wanted but didn’t receive.

Blessings don’t always come in the form of yes, they come through disappointments too.

Thankful for the no’s……

- Samjah Iman

I Finally Let My Hair Down

“Oh she’s a cute little girl…and look at all that hair!” This is a statement I heard throughout my childhood.  Whenever my mother decided to let my big hair hang out (which wasn’t often), old and even young people would flock around me, admiring my mane as if I was the second coming.  After many years of enduring this reaction from others, I came to the conclusion that the world equated long hair with beauty.  I knew at a young age I wanted no parts of this warped way of thinking.  And as soon as I was old enough to whack all of my hair off, I was going for it…..or so I thought.  Little did I know (and I would find out years later), the twisted beliefs regarding hair and beauty from others had seeped into my psyche, and I too had been socialized into thinking that having long hair was one of my most cherished attributes.

Of course as a teenager I wanted to try new hairstyles, and I did.  But no matter what hairstyle I tried, if it involved cutting, I made sure I kept my hair at least at the end of my neck or shoulder length.  I figured if I kept enough hair to make a ponytail, then I would still be considered “beautiful” in the socialized people’s eyes.  I kept this shoulder length hair antic up all the way into my late 20s.  I always wanted to go shorter than the nape of my neck, but never got the guts to do it.  Living vicariously through singer and songwriter Kelis, I would often search pics of her and admire the funky and fun hairdos she sported. Then I got the courage one day to cut my hair kinda past my neck. 

After getting this short bob, I went to my now old job the next day just as happy as can be with my new look.  I strutted into the building throwing my short locks from side to side.  Soon after I settled in my office and prepared to waste billable hours by searching the web, a lady busted through my slightly opened door with a stern look on her face.  My heart dropped because I just knew someone had discovered my internet shopping history on the company’s computer, and I was about to be called out for it.  But no, her face was contorted because of my new haircut!! Do you know this lady sat beside my desk and proceeded to quote some bible verses to me about why I shouldn’t have cut MY hair??????!!! I was outdone!!

The sweet lady with the bible incident was just one of many depth-less reactions to my haircuts over the course of my adult life.  I’ve had an intellectually challenged EX-boyfriend (emphasis on ex thank God) request that I wear my hair down when we went around his friends so that he could show off my length.  I’ve had people actually get angry at me for cutting a few inches off MY hair.  I’ve had people suggest therapeutic interventions when I shaved off the side and back of MY hair (even though MY hair was still long enough to cover up both shaved parts). 

As you have probably gathered from reading, I have been traumatized by other people’s hair expectations.  I’ve had to encounter too much bull when it came to MY hair which in turn made me a little self-conscious whenever I wanted to try a new style.  But guess who’s finally shaking that paralyzing mentality and evolving into an “I don’t give a damn” kind of woman while swaying freely to I Am Not My Hair by India Arie?  You’ve guessed right….me!       

So I finally let my hair down.  I got my hair cut the shortest it’s ever been, and I couldn’t feel more liberated.  My liberation does not come from barely having any hair (although this is super fun I must admit), it comes from being free of anyone’s opinions or projections. I’m finally learning that it’s okay to live my life according to my own standards and not society’s.  This new independent way of living has lifted so many weights off my shoulder. 

I’d like to thank my girl Ashlee Rene for this bomb cut! And to my loved ones who encouraged me to jump out there and try something new……bless you all. 

Beauty and hair are not synonymous.  Beauty and freedom are.    

“Free your mind and your ass will follow”

— Funkadelic 

- Samjah Iman

Don't Forget About Your Past Blessings

The other day I was agonizing over a few things I’ve been manifesting that have yet to materialize.  I felt myself growing frustrated and impatient.  I tried to shake the feeling, but it wasn’t going away easily.  I even began to think about my plant post from last week for some encouragement. That didn’t help much this time either.  I decided to say a silent prayer then let my worries go. 

Not too long after doing that, I drove into a parking garage where I was forced to park on the rooftop.  I got out the car, and the New Orleans’ skyline hit me dead in my face.  I stood there for a second in awe.  Not because of the beauty it presented, but because that skyline reminded me of the time in my life when I was praying to live in this place and do exactly what I am doing for a living, and now it’s happening. 

After receiving that subtle yet powerful reminder, I quickly got my attitude all the way together.  I begin to think about all of the other stuff I had prayed for and gotten.  I instantly became encouraged.

Oftentimes when we are in need of something, we tend to get impatient and forget that we were once praying for some of the things we have right now. And if God came through then, He’ll definitely do it again in due time. So the next time you find yourself tripping on what you’re lacking, just take a second and remember the blessings you were once wanting and now have. I guarantee you’ll feel a glimpse of hope about what lies ahead.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Felt Hat (sold out, similar here) // High-Waist Skinny Jeans // Crop Top // White Slides // Oversize Blue Jean Dress worn as shirt (sold out, similar here)     

Keep Your Light On

I caught up with an old friend a few weeks ago, and we were discussing what was new on our journeys. This friend was obviously feeling stressed about the things happening in their life. They complained, they almost cried, and they even got angry when speaking about different incidents. When it came time for me to update this friend on the great things happening in my life, I hesitated. I was reluctant to share my blessings because their life wasn’t going as they had planned, and I didn’t want to come across as bragging….especially when they felt like crap.

So after the friend calmed down, they asked me how my life was going. Instead of me saying, “Everything is beautiful, and even my so-called bad days are far from horrible.” I hit them with my generic one-liner, “Same old, same old….just grinding.” I dimmed my light so that this friend could feel comfortable in their dark moment. I walked away from that meeting mad….not at the friend, but at myself. I asked myself what made me not want to share my happiness with my friend. “Am I trying to protect their feelings? Am I scared they will envy me because of the good things happening in my life? Am I trying to fit in?” I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. All I knew was that I didn’t like the fact that I diminished myself so that another person could feel better. And in that moment of truth, I came to the conclusion that I’M TIRED OF HIDING MY BLESSINGS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS SO THAT OTHERS CAN FEEL COMFORTABLE ABOUT THEMSELVES AND THEIR LIFE TRAJECTORY.

A few weeks ago, I was in a low creativity space so I met up with a young lady who’s a dynamic worker and as a result, a millionaire. She was talking about all the moves she was currently making, and here I was in a creative rut feeling like I was going no where….but that didn’t stop me from listening to her story and soaking up everything. After meeting with her, I called my mother to fill her in on the good time I had. I remember saying to my mother, “it felt good to just receive her energy….it motivated me to keep going.” Because this young lady didn’t hold back on sharing her blessings (even while I was in an obvious stressful state), I benefited and got the push I needed to carry on.

I truly believe that people need to see other people succeeding so that they will know it’s possible to do the same. Letting your light shine is your way of appreciating the blessings that have been given to you, and it’s also a way of encouraging others to stay the course because their time is coming as well.

Don’t ever turn your light off to match someone else’s darkness. Leave your light on because #1, you paid the bill and deserve for it to be shinning, and #2, your bright light will act as a guide….helping others to find their way back home.

Illuminating,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Polka Dot Dress // White ankle-strap heels