Taking A Second to Reconnect

Think about how you feel when you haven’t been treating your body like you know you should. For instance…if you haven’t been eating right, exercising, or getting enough rest - you feel sluggish or drained…..maybe even stressed, right? That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. However, it has nothing to do with my body but everything to do with my energy.

For the past five years it feels like I’ve been driving my car nonstop, at a high speed with my hands swaying wildly in the air. Since 2013, I’ve been taking pictures each week, faithfully. Since 2016, I’ve been writing every week (multiple times a week) for different publications. I’ve been running from event to event, jumping through hoops to make hustles happen, and saying yes to everyone more than I’ve been saying it to myself. My fuel meter keeps blinking, indicating that it’s time to parallel park this thing and chill - or risk running out of gas. So before my energy completely plummets, I’m going to make sure I take a minute to breathe and fill my cup back up.

In order to keep my style and energy ever-blooming, I must take a step back so that I can reconnect with myself. I’m going to take these next two weeks to sit in silence, be vigilant, do some deep breathing, reflect, laugh, be lazy, read, write, meditate, plan, create, enjoy loved ones, and simplify some things in my world.

“As an artist, your physical self is as much part of your business as the actual art. Treat yourself as such. ”

— @bzthevoice

Carving out time to center yourself and simplify your surroundings helps you to reconnect with your purpose and quiet your mind so that you can clearly hear from the Divine. If we keep going and going and going without taking moments to come back to the middle (our core/center), we tend to lose sight of our why and miss vital, spiritual signs that are placed all throughout our individual worlds in order to aid us on our journey.

If you’ve been all over the place this year or for the last few years, I advise you to take a moment to just do you as well. When you treat yourself right, the world benefits.

Have the most wonderful Holiday EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace and Love!

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Ruffle Sleeve Top (Forever 21 in-store) // Skirt (old) // Floral Booties // Chanel Brooch

I Know Me

Lately, my main focus has been self-awareness. I’ve been totally engrossed in not only studying my many emotions, insecurities, securities, moods, desires, hangups, etc. - but most importantly, healing the things that are off balance within myself. And what I’m discovering in this process is that when a person knows themselves and accepts who they are, absolutely no one can disturb their peace.

There was a time in my life when I used to blame everything outside of myself for my reactions and emotions, when the truth was my reactions had nothing to do with the outside world but everything to do with what was going on inside of me.

There’s this girl who imitated almost everything I did, and it drove me nuts!! I was extremely flattered that she admired me, but it got pretty annoying at times. At first I would blame her insecurity for her actions and act as if my reaction to her actions were normal. Then when I got on this self-awareness journey, I was forced to turn the mirror on me and ask myself why her actions would make me so upset. Yes it’s annoying when people infringe upon my entire swag, but it shouldn’t evoke anger within me. So I began to pay attention to what I felt when she would copy me, and eventually I came up with the answer. I discovered that the irritation I experienced had nothing to do with her actions, but everything to do with what I felt about myself. Her copying me did not upset me because she was insecure, it bothered me because it triggered an insecurity that was swimming deep down inside of me. I felt I wasn’t great enough or worthy of that type of admiration. So whenever she copied me, I was actually getting frustrated with my insecurity - not hers.

By simply knowing myself, I’ve been set free from so many opinions, and I am very seldom bothered by the actions of others. There was a time when I used to ask myself what I did to make a person react how they reacted, now I’m learning that most people’s actions have nothing to do with me - but everything to do with what’s going on inside of them.

Know yourself, and then act accordingly.

“An unhealed person can find offense in pretty much anything someone does. A healed person understands that the actions of others have nothing to do with them. ”

— Unknown

Peace and Blessings

- Samjah Iman

Living Without Expectations

Years ago, I was having an in-depth conversation with a friend about relationships and expectations. During the conversation, he revealed to me that he doesn’t expect anything from anyone. He also went on to say that he doesn’t even expect his wife to come home every night. He said that his wife has a choice on whether or not she wants to return home that day and vice versa. They come home to each other not because they are expected to, but because they want to. Expectations do not govern their relationship…..love does. At the time of this conversation I was in my late 20’s. And by that time in my life I had been repeatedly let down by unmet expectations I placed on people. However, I still couldn’t digest what he was saying or the concept of living without expectations. But as life kept happening and I kept maturing, I totally got it.

People will fall short and things are always changing. Parents will forget, children will fail, wives will mess up, boyfriends will leave, friends won’t always answer the phone, etc. I’ve been in numerous situations where I’ve said, “I can’t believe he or she did that!” And now I think back to those times and wonder why I couldn’t believe it….he or she were human, and they did what we humans do - be imperfect.

I’ve come to realize that living without placing expectations on people is a more peaceful and less stressful way for me to go about life. And besides, placing expectations on people doesn’t give them the chance to reveal who they really are. I’d rather people exercise their free will and operate in their full truth instead of them faking the funk by trying to live up to the expectations I placed on them.

Take some of that unnecessary stress off your shoulders, let those expectations go.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Vintage Lillie Rubin Jacket // Fringe Sandals

The Answers Are in Your Gut

You know that feeling you get in your stomach when you’re in a situation that you know you shouldn’t be in or should be in? I’m not talking about stomach cramps or butterflies. I’m talking about that deep tugging you feel in your gut that causes you to pause and wonder if what you’re feeling on the inside is showing on the outside…..yea that feeling. There are numerous times in my life when I’ve experienced that feeling and ignored it - and of course, I ended up saying, “I should have gone with my gut!” Learning from those moments, I made a vow to never ignore my gut again, and let me tell you all - so far that vow has saved me from a lot of hardships.

Quick Story - a few months ago, I was in the process of trying to become a homeowner. After what seemed like 1,000 searches, I found a nice home that was in my price range….but something wouldn’t allow me to fall in love with it. Instead of listening to that feeling (my intuition), I got advice from several people regarding the home buying process. I asked them if it was normal for me to second guess a home that I was about to purchase. Some brushed my feelings off as jitters since I was about to make one of the biggest investments of my life. Others told me to get the house because it was reasonably priced and nice, and it would eventually grow on me. I went over everyone’s advice in my head, but I still didn’t have the peace I needed to feel totally good about the process. Something was nagging at me internally. I ignored the feeling and concentrated on the fact that I really wanted to become a homeowner so I went forward with the process. I signed a contract, got an inspection done, and was on my way to close the deal. I figured my excitement would grow as the closing date approached - it never did. Actually, the internal nagging grew louder - so loud that my sleep began to be disturbed. I called my mother to explain the feeling I had and her advice was, “listen to that voice inside.” That was all I needed to hear. The next day, I called the entire process off. I lost some money from the inspection and a few other things, but that didn’t bother me one bit. Having peace meant way more to me than losing money.

Words can’t express how grateful and proud of myself I am for paying attention to that persistent feeling inside of me. I’m currently still renting, and I’m totally fine with that because I sleep like a baby at night knowing I made the right decision. A friend once said to me that building equity in your peace is way more important than building equity in a house. Boy was he right.

When something doesn’t feel right in your soul, it usually isn’t right - and vice versa. Trust your gut feeling, it’s there for a reason.

“If prayer is you talking to God, then intuition is God talking to you. ”

— Wayne Dyer

Outfit Details: Top // Leggings // Boots

I'm Thankful For Unanswered Prayers

True to the holiday spirit, I am currently zeroing in on all the things I am grateful for. After pondering over my many blessings I can honestly say that during this season of my life, one of the biggest blessings I am truly thankful for are all the things I didn’t receive. I have (by the grace of God) dodged SEVERAL bullets thanks to unanswered prayers.

Let me tell ya’ll….there are so many things I thought I wanted in the past that I am so glad I didn’t get. But at that time, all I could see was what I wanted. I didn’t care about the consequences that came with the things I wanted, or if I was mentally prepared for those consequences, or what type of lifestyle the things I wanted would have yielded. All I knew in the moment was that I wanted what I asked for, and today I can thankfully say that I’m so glad God is much more aware than I am - and that He gives according to my needs and what I’m ready for.

Every blessing we want comes with a price tag. Sometimes the blessing is affordable, and sometimes we are in over our heads. When I think back on some of the stuff I prayed for, I now realize that those situations may have been too costly therefore causing me to stress or lose sight of my purpose. At the time when we are asking for blessings and don’t receive them, we automatically become angry or discouraged. We may even lose a little faith. But what I am continuously learning everyday of my life is EVERYTHING that I either lost or didn’t receive was for my good. Some unanswered prayers taught me a lesson I needed to learn, some made me a stronger person for the trials I would later face, some made me a better friend, and some made me more appreciative.

Every unanswered prayer can’t be explained, but trust there’s a reason for it. So while you’re reflecting on your blessings this Thanksgiving Holiday, remember to think about the blessings you thought you wanted but didn’t receive.

Blessings don’t always come in the form of yes, they come through disappointments too.

Thankful for the no’s……

- Samjah Iman

It's About the Commitment

I can’t tell you the exact formula to losing 10 pounds in three weeks, or to being successful, or the quickest way to get rich, or how to get discovered on any social media platform. But what I can tell you is if you make a commitment and stick to it - in most cases you will get to where you are trying to go.

Years ago when I transferred from Southern University to Grambling State University (shut up Southern fans), my mother was skeptical. Sitting on my tiny cot (some may call it a bed) in my dorm room, I broke the news to Big P (my mother) over the phone that I was leaving SU for GSU. There was a pregnant pause…then with exasperation in her voice Big P said, “Sam if you transfer you will probably lose some credits and won’t graduate on time.” For those of you who don’t know really know me….here’s a short synopsis. I’m the girl you should not tell what probably won’t happen when she wants to do something because that does nothing but fuel my fire. In response to my mother’s statement I simply said, “Yes I will.” Did I know I would graduate on time when I responded to my mother’s statement? Nope. All I knew at that very moment was that I committed myself to the process of graduating on time - and only the things out of my control would prevent me from carrying out that commitment.

Three years later after leaving SU, I not only graduated on time - I graduated earlier than I was predicted to. And since then, I’ve applied that same commitment method to my other endeavors. Of course everything hasn’t workout exactly how I wanted it to, but it has worked out nonetheless.

Make a commitment, stick to it, and watch the results unfold.

Committed,

- Samjah Iman

P.S. - I am now offering blog consulting, blog auditing, and writing services! If your brand is in need of a blog, a writer, or if your blog needs a pick-me-up - head over to my services page and let’s get the ball rolling!!

Outfit Details: Snakeskin Flats // Printed Blouse

Voting in Vintage

I would be remiss if I didn’t do my part to stress the importance of voting tomorrow and show off this vintage blazer I got for $24! LOL!

Anyway, If you’re following this blog then I already know you are extremely conscious and have all the sense in the world (smile); therefore, voting in the one of the most crucial elections is on your agenda tomorrow. But just in case you’re tripping and thinking about not voting tomorrow, below are five quick reasons that will hopefully get your mind right.

1. Your life and your family’s lives depend on it. Too much craziness is happening in this world for you not to use your powerful voice.

2. Trump

3. Your ancestors went through hell for you to have the right to vote, honor them by using it.

4. Trump

5. Voting allows you to decide what will happen with your life regarding laws, healthcare, equal opportunities, etc. Not voting puts the decision in the people’s hands who could care less about our lives.

If these 5 reasons don’t move you to vote, I have a few more that I wrote about here. Check it out.

Also, you can grab a blazer like this vintage one here. And my boots are Steve Madden.

Happy voting loves!

I Finally Let My Hair Down

“Oh she’s a cute little girl…and look at all that hair!” This is a statement I heard throughout my childhood.  Whenever my mother decided to let my big hair hang out (which wasn’t often), old and even young people would flock around me, admiring my mane as if I was the second coming.  After many years of enduring this reaction from others, I came to the conclusion that the world equated long hair with beauty.  I knew at a young age I wanted no parts of this warped way of thinking.  And as soon as I was old enough to whack all of my hair off, I was going for it…..or so I thought.  Little did I know (and I would find out years later), the twisted beliefs regarding hair and beauty from others had seeped into my psyche, and I too had been socialized into thinking that having long hair was one of my most cherished attributes.

Of course as a teenager I wanted to try new hairstyles, and I did.  But no matter what hairstyle I tried, if it involved cutting, I made sure I kept my hair at least at the end of my neck or shoulder length.  I figured if I kept enough hair to make a ponytail, then I would still be considered “beautiful” in the socialized people’s eyes.  I kept this shoulder length hair antic up all the way into my late 20s.  I always wanted to go shorter than the nape of my neck, but never got the guts to do it.  Living vicariously through singer and songwriter Kelis, I would often search pics of her and admire the funky and fun hairdos she sported. Then I got the courage one day to cut my hair kinda past my neck. 

After getting this short bob, I went to my now old job the next day just as happy as can be with my new look.  I strutted into the building throwing my short locks from side to side.  Soon after I settled in my office and prepared to waste billable hours by searching the web, a lady busted through my slightly opened door with a stern look on her face.  My heart dropped because I just knew someone had discovered my internet shopping history on the company’s computer, and I was about to be called out for it.  But no, her face was contorted because of my new haircut!! Do you know this lady sat beside my desk and proceeded to quote some bible verses to me about why I shouldn’t have cut MY hair??????!!! I was outdone!!

The sweet lady with the bible incident was just one of many depth-less reactions to my haircuts over the course of my adult life.  I’ve had an intellectually challenged EX-boyfriend (emphasis on ex thank God) request that I wear my hair down when we went around his friends so that he could show off my length.  I’ve had people actually get angry at me for cutting a few inches off MY hair.  I’ve had people suggest therapeutic interventions when I shaved off the side and back of MY hair (even though MY hair was still long enough to cover up both shaved parts). 

As you have probably gathered from reading, I have been traumatized by other people’s hair expectations.  I’ve had to encounter too much bull when it came to MY hair which in turn made me a little self-conscious whenever I wanted to try a new style.  But guess who’s finally shaking that paralyzing mentality and evolving into an “I don’t give a damn” kind of woman while swaying freely to I Am Not My Hair by India Arie?  You’ve guessed right….me!       

So I finally let my hair down.  I got my hair cut the shortest it’s ever been, and I couldn’t feel more liberated.  My liberation does not come from barely having any hair (although this is super fun I must admit), it comes from being free of anyone’s opinions or projections. I’m finally learning that it’s okay to live my life according to my own standards and not society’s.  This new independent way of living has lifted so many weights off my shoulder. 

I’d like to thank my girl Ashlee Rene for this bomb cut! And to my loved ones who encouraged me to jump out there and try something new……bless you all. 

Beauty and hair are not synonymous.  Beauty and freedom are.    

“Free your mind and your ass will follow”

— Funkadelic 

- Samjah Iman

Don't Forget About Your Past Blessings

The other day I was agonizing over a few things I’ve been manifesting that have yet to materialize.  I felt myself growing frustrated and impatient.  I tried to shake the feeling, but it wasn’t going away easily.  I even began to think about my plant post from last week for some encouragement. That didn’t help much this time either.  I decided to say a silent prayer then let my worries go. 

Not too long after doing that, I drove into a parking garage where I was forced to park on the rooftop.  I got out the car, and the New Orleans’ skyline hit me dead in my face.  I stood there for a second in awe.  Not because of the beauty it presented, but because that skyline reminded me of the time in my life when I was praying to live in this place and do exactly what I am doing for a living, and now it’s happening. 

After receiving that subtle yet powerful reminder, I quickly got my attitude all the way together.  I begin to think about all of the other stuff I had prayed for and gotten.  I instantly became encouraged.

Oftentimes when we are in need of something, we tend to get impatient and forget that we were once praying for some of the things we have right now. And if God came through then, He’ll definitely do it again in due time. So the next time you find yourself tripping on what you’re lacking, just take a second and remember the blessings you were once wanting and now have. I guarantee you’ll feel a glimpse of hope about what lies ahead.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Felt Hat (sold out, similar here) // High-Waist Skinny Jeans // Crop Top // White Slides // Oversize Blue Jean Dress worn as shirt (sold out, similar here)     

Nurture Your Blessings, Starve Your Problems

When I received my first house plant, I really didn’t pay too much attention to it because at the time, plants weren’t my thing. I just sat it on my coffee table and watered it every now and then. Even though I neglected the plant, it still grew - just not as fast as it would have had it been nurtured properly.

On the flip side, there are these pesky weed looking plants (or whatever they are) growing in my backyard. I used to pay attention to them daily because I DIDN’T LIKE THEM! I would open my back door often to gaze at them with disgust in hopes that they will just disappear. They didn’t…they actually seemed to have grown bigger at times.

I grew tired of staring at those weed looking plants. But since getting rid of the plants was out of my control (too many bugs back there plus I’m currently renting), I decided not to give them my attention anymore. I began concentrating on my house plant. I talked to it, positioned it to receive sunlight, and watered it on a weekly basis. And sure enough it began to really sprout. The more I nurtured that plant, the more it grew. And as for the weed looking plants, they are still back there. They just don’t bother me as much anymore because I stop giving them life.

Ladies and gents, the method I applied to my house plant and those weed looking plants can be applied to our real life blessings and problems. What we nurture grows and what we starve doesn’t.

It’s a known fact that whatever we give your attention to expands. If we are constantly concentrating on the negative things going on in our lives, that will become our focal point and that is what we will continue to attract. But if we concentrate on the positive things we have going on, then that becomes our main priority and in turn our spirits will be lifted. We will then create a habit of looking for the blessing in all situations which will eventually lead to attracting more blessings.

Let’s work on watering our blessings and starving our problems. The issues probably won’t go away completely, but at least the beauty of the blessings will overpower them.

Watering my blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Boots // Top // Jeans // Sweater

The Art of Waiting...

I consider myself a pretty adventurous, bold person to say the least. I’ve moved to another state with no job before. I’ve jumped on a stage and talked in front of hundreds of people. I’ve quit an eight-year job to live out my passion. I’ve started businesses. I’ve even traveled to foreign places by myself. It’s funny that I had/have the courage to do all those things and more, but when it comes to WAITING - I sometimes fall short.

If there’s something in my life that I’m waiting on whether it be extra income, a business to jump off, a house, new this, new that - I find myself getting pretty impatient and trying everything to make sure it comes to pass. I sometimes feel like I’m not hustling hard enough or looking for opportunities in the right places. But as soon as I shake that feeling, step back, and let everything unfold on its own - I’m reminded that letting go of a situation is just as valuable as working hard for it. It’s the divine intervention aspect of the process….the part when you allow a higher power to intervene.

“With waiting, comes learning. ”

— Unknown

I often notice that when I’m NOT looking for something, I find it or it comes to me. And when I’m looking super hard for something, it’s nowhere to be found or if I keep looking hard enough, I end up finding the wrong thing. This is where the art of waiting comes in.

Once you’ve made your needs and wants clear and have done everything in your power to bring those needs and wants to fruition, the best thing to do after that is nothing. Surrender, trust that it will all work out, then move on to the next thing. Taking your hands off a situation that you can no longer control is saying that you trust the Universe/God to work everything out accordingly. Waiting not only builds faith, it sets you up to receive exactly what’s meant for you to have.

While everyone is telling you to turn your hustle up since it’s October and there are only 90 something days left in the year, I’m telling you that if you’ve done all you can do, then wait. What’s meant for you will come to you.

Being still,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Green Jumper // White Boots (Urban Outfitters…sold out) // Vintage Dooney & Burke Purse

Keep Your Light On

I caught up with an old friend a few weeks ago, and we were discussing what was new on our journeys. This friend was obviously feeling stressed about the things happening in their life. They complained, they almost cried, and they even got angry when speaking about different incidents. When it came time for me to update this friend on the great things happening in my life, I hesitated. I was reluctant to share my blessings because their life wasn’t going as they had planned, and I didn’t want to come across as bragging….especially when they felt like crap.

So after the friend calmed down, they asked me how my life was going. Instead of me saying, “Everything is beautiful, and even my so-called bad days are far from horrible.” I hit them with my generic one-liner, “Same old, same old….just grinding.” I dimmed my light so that this friend could feel comfortable in their dark moment. I walked away from that meeting mad….not at the friend, but at myself. I asked myself what made me not want to share my happiness with my friend. “Am I trying to protect their feelings? Am I scared they will envy me because of the good things happening in my life? Am I trying to fit in?” I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. All I knew was that I didn’t like the fact that I diminished myself so that another person could feel better. And in that moment of truth, I came to the conclusion that I’M TIRED OF HIDING MY BLESSINGS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS SO THAT OTHERS CAN FEEL COMFORTABLE ABOUT THEMSELVES AND THEIR LIFE TRAJECTORY.

A few weeks ago, I was in a low creativity space so I met up with a young lady who’s a dynamic worker and as a result, a millionaire. She was talking about all the moves she was currently making, and here I was in a creative rut feeling like I was going no where….but that didn’t stop me from listening to her story and soaking up everything. After meeting with her, I called my mother to fill her in on the good time I had. I remember saying to my mother, “it felt good to just receive her energy….it motivated me to keep going.” Because this young lady didn’t hold back on sharing her blessings (even while I was in an obvious stressful state), I benefited and got the push I needed to carry on.

I truly believe that people need to see other people succeeding so that they will know it’s possible to do the same. Letting your light shine is your way of appreciating the blessings that have been given to you, and it’s also a way of encouraging others to stay the course because their time is coming as well.

Don’t ever turn your light off to match someone else’s darkness. Leave your light on because #1, you paid the bill and deserve for it to be shinning, and #2, your bright light will act as a guide….helping others to find their way back home.

Illuminating,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Polka Dot Dress // White ankle-strap heels

All You Have to do is Just Be

As soon as you log into your email each morning or on your social media accounts, messages like get money, hustle hard, stay on the grind, hurry up and succeed, are pushed in your face.  I totally get those messages, am sometimes motivated by those messages, and have even emailed/posted those types of messages in the past as well.  However, I woke up the other morning and said that on that day (and the days to come) I will just be.  I won't be hard on myself, I won't try to overachieve, I won't let the world or internet rush me or tell me what success should look like. I will just simply just be present, do the work my way, and let the chips fall where they may. 

Sometimes we need to take all of that stress off of our shoulders from the world, get a clear picture in our heads of how success looks to us, and just be.  Be in the moment, be in spirit, be appreciative, be reflective, be content, be patient and everything will come together. Let the pressure of succeeding and the world go sometimes.  This is your own race, no one else's.  Just be.   

Outfit Details: T-shirt // Neon Pumps

Self-esteem isn't Enough....

I was having a conversation with my mother the other day about the ability to tell people NO.  She was telling me that some teenager stopped my 13-year-old nephew in the mall and asked to use his cell phone (which he would have probably ran off with), and without hesitation my nephew said, "No!"  I started grinning with pride as my mother continued the story.  I was so proud of him.  Reason being, saying no takes a lot of willpower....especially in a world full of brown-nosing and peer pressuring.  Hell....it's even hard for me to tell people no at times, and I'm grown. 

When my mother was done telling the story, I began talking about how I'm getting more and more comfortable with telling people no which in turn allows me to be more kind to myself.  After hearing me say this, my mother chimed in and said, "You know Sam, self-esteem without self-efficacy is nullified."  I said, "huh?"  She then broke it down for me.  "Self-esteem is what you feel, self-efficacy is what you do with that feeling  Self-esteem and self-efficacy must juxtapose.  The ability to say no comes with self-efficacy." Her statement hit me right between my eyes.  

I pride myself on having a healthy self-esteem, but there are times when I say yes instead of saying no for fear of disappointing someone.  In turn, I'm the one stuck with the stress and disappointment which is totally not cool.  This ends right now. 

I will continue to focus on feeling good about myself as well as making sure I'm exercising that feeling.  It's one thing to say you love yourself, and it's a whole other thing to show it. 

“Self-esteem without self-efficacy is dead. ”

— Big P

Don't just say you love yourself, act like you do. 

Peace and self-efficacy,

- Samjah Iman

Living Your Best Life: What The Internet Didn't Tell You

Me on a Saturday: Life is good!  I love it! *twerks*

Me on a Sunday: Life is cool man...it is what it is. *shrugs shoulders*

Me on a Monday: Life is aight...it could be better. *rolls eyes at the wall*

Me on a Tuesday: What the hell is wrong with my life?! *falls out on the floor*

Me on a Tuesday night: Everything will work out.  Be optimistic Sam. *meditates*

This, ladies and gentlemen is an accurate example of how my mind works at times on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis.  This also shows how controlling your thoughts, being the best person you can be, and living the best life you can live requires effort and constant practice.  The internet will have you thinking that once you declare you are "living your best life," everyday going forward will be a breeze.  Lies!  The moment you decide to be a better person, mate, parent, friend, think positive, forget about a negative person, drink more water, eat better, lose weight, or whatever else - it requires a conscious and daily effort FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  You don't just decide to change your trajectory or way of thinking and all of a sudden you're this new person.  You have to try hard on Monday, then Tuesday, then Tuesday night, Wednesday, then Wednesday around lunch time, Thursday.....you get the point.   

Everyday different situations are thrown at us from a variety of angles forcing us to put all that we said we were made of to the test.  I used to think that since I started viewing things from a mature perspective, I would automatically react different when life decided to throw a wrench in my plans.  This was far from the truth.  As soon as I was confronted with a situation, I found myself reverting back to my old way of thinking causing me to get frustrated with myself for not handling the situation like I thought I should.  But then I realized that just like anything else you want to be great at, living your best life and all that comes with it requires practice and training.  I'm constantly giving myself pep talks about situations or denying negative thoughts that come in my head.  Of course the more I do it the better I get at it, but I always slip up.  But the more I train, the easier it gets for me to bounce back from a slip up.  

I will never do everything right, say the most profound things all the time, or have nothing but positive thoughts running through my mind constantly.  But what I will do is make a daily effort to work towards being that person.  No one will be totally perfect when it comes to navigating life, but with conscious effort and daily practice - we can definitely become damn good at it. 

Working hard everyday to live my best life,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Stripe Blazer // Brooklyn Circus T-shirt // Off-white Booties (Urban Outfitters, sold out) // Vintage Levis

Just Be Sure to Have Fun

I never cease to amaze myself.  Not because I'm some supernatural human being who gets it right all the time, but because I am always jumping out there and doing stuff that I'd never thought I'd do.  So last week, I acted in a pilot for a summer love series.  I'm laughing right now as I type this because I still can't believe I did it.  Acting has never been on my goal list, but when the opportunity came, I sized it up, contemplated, consulted wise counsel, then said f**k it...why not?.  

When I got the email from the director of the film, my first reaction was, "nah, that's not me....I'm good."  So I respectfully decline.  But the director (getshotbyagirl) was persistent.  So I looked at her previous work and was impressed.  I contacted my advisory board (my people lol), and they all said go for it.  One of my board members particularly said, "just do your best and have fun."  And I took that simple advice to heart.  I showed up to the set all chipper and unprepared with no lines memorized and absolutely no knowledge about acting whatsoever.  When my turn came, I channeled my inner Angela Bassett, gave my all, and made sure I enjoyed every moment of it - even the bloopers.  Almost six hours and 900 acting attempts later, the film was a wrap....and I had once again tried faith and won.   

I went home that night (or morning) feeling good not because I gave an Oscar-worthy performance, but because I enjoyed myself.  Going into new territory always makes me a little uneasy and this time was no different.  But what really helped me conquer this experience was my attitude about just having fun.  Life is but a blink of an eye, why not enjoy ourselves as much as possible while we live it?  

I'm not sure when the series will be released, and I'm actually not tripping either.  I'm just enjoying the different roads life is placing in my pathway.  Acting surely wasn't a road I asked for, and I have no idea where it will lead.  My goal is just to trust the One who does and have fun while doing so.  

Currently smelling the roses,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Black Dress // Heels (Steve Madden, very old lol)

He's in the Neighborhood

Have you ever looked out your door or window in anticipation of an important package from the mailman, and all of a sudden you see him pull up to your neighbor's house to deliver their package so you get excited because you know he's on the way to your house eventually?  That's exactly how I feel when my close friends receive blessings.  

There used to be a time when a friend of mine would come into a huge blessing, and I would be happy for them....but I'd ask God, "when is my blessing coming?" or "I work hard too, why didn't I get that blessing?"  Then it dawned on me, I'm His child just like my friend is.  And whatever He does for one of His children, He is capable of doing for the others in due time.  Because I am associated with positive people (my friends), their energy rubs off on me.  We hold each other accountable and keep each other on the correct path.  Therefore, we are abundantly blessed (in different ways) usually during the same season because we operate on similar, positive wavelengths....or in this case, we're in the same neighborhood.  

So from now on when a friend calls me with great news regarding a huge blessing, my heart instantly fills with joy not only for them. but also because I know this - He's at their house today delivering their package which means He's in my neighborhood....and one day soon, He's going to be at my front door with my gift.  

Rejoice....even when He's just in the neighborhood,

- Samjah Iman

I absolutely adore this African Print dress!  It was a special gift, and it's available at Raydarten.com.  My comfortable yellow mules are from Shoe Dazzle.  My leather clutch comes from here.  Happy Shopping! 

Faith is a Muscle

I used to be the person who declared I had faith because it was what I was supposed to do.  Claiming faith was an integral part of my culture, and I learned from years of Sunday school to profess it every time I dealt with hardship or to lend it as advice when someone else was going through something.  But what my culture and Sunday school teachings didn't stress was that faith was a muscle, and the only way for it to get stronger was to exercise it.      

If I work my muscles out often, they will automatically get stronger.  I will be able to lift things I couldn't lift before, my stamina will increase, and I'll feel more healthy and energized.  But if I don't use my muscles at all, I'll lose them.  It's the same with faith.  

I can recite the "faith of mustard seed" scripture until I am blue in the face, but if I'm not exercising that faith, then I really have none.  I wasn't aware of how faith truly worked until I just jumped out and totally depended on it.  And when I didn't sink after jumping out there, I decided to do it again and again.  And each time my faith muscle grew stronger.   

I'm no longer throwing the word faith around or quoting faith scriptures because it's the appropriate thing to do, I'm out here living it, testing it, and seeing what it's worth.  And while I'm still growing in the faith exercising aspect, I can tell you this - the workouts are coming in handy, and I haven't encountered a situation yet that my faith couldn't strong arm.  And for this reason alone, I'm staying in the gym.   

Flexing,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: African Print Tee // Jeans (vintage) // Red Heels (sold out)

Life is Something like Football

Today I thought about all of the obligations/work I had in front of me, and it made me want to sit down in the middle of my floor and not move until winter.  I called my mother and told her that I felt like throwing a fit.  In true Big P (her nickname) form, she recited a quote.  

“Inch by inch, life’s a cinch. Yard by yard, life’s hard.”

— John Bytheway

She went on to compare life to a football game.  She stated that it's very rare to make a touchdown on your first attempt - which is why a team is given four tries to gain only 10 yards.  Each inch counts and plays a crucial role in getting the team closer to those 10 yards and then closer to the end zone. 

I got it.  Day by day and inch by inch is the best way to live this life.  If I look at my end zone from 100 yards back, I'll definitely get overwhelmed and maybe even discouraged.  But if I celebrate each inch as progress, then gaining yards and reaching my end zone becomes way less stressful and more attainable.  As I wrote in my Here and Now post, looking too far in front or behind can be stressful, but concentrating only on what we can cover in a day or moment makes life that much more doable.    

Conquer the inches, my people.  Don't trip on the yards.  

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Picture Credit - michaelsentino.com

Outfit Details: Leggings (sold out) // Sports Bra // Cap // Jordans

When They Copy You...

I got a DM (direct message) the other day from a young lady who wanted my opinion.  She wrote that her friend sometimes criticizes what she is doing or wearing or doesn’t acknowledge it and then turns around and copies her.  I chuckled when I read her message because this situation sounded all too familiar. 

I get it.  I, too, have an associate who likes to imitate mostly everything I’m doing.  I’m honored that anyone would ever want to mimic my moves.  I love inspiring and have been inspired by many people so imitating isn’t the issue.  I believe the frustrating thing about this is when someone habitually copies everything you do, it feels like a violation to your personal creativity - almost like they are trying to steal your entire existence.  

““Celebrities get copied all the time, that’s one of the traits that makes them valuable. Having said that, celebs don’t necessarily have to be directly exposed to others’ copying them. When a friend does it, it can feel more like a betrayal than a compliment, because friends are supposed to admire each other, yet simultaneously maintain their own sense of identity.””

— Dr. Robi Ludwig

As frustrating as a friend/associate who copies your every move may be, the truth is there's not a whole lot we can do to stop them.  Some people who are chronic copycats probably possess self-esteem issues or haven't found their own lane just yet, and they don't know how to use the inspiration they get from others and tailor it to fit their swag.  

I responded to the young lady and explained that I understood firsthand what she was going through.  I told her she could either take it as flattery, switch her style up, or maybe address the issue in a mature way. 

The one thing this young lady and all of us who are going through this need to remember is there's only one of us.  People can imitate us, but it won't be the same because it isn't authentically them. 

As my wise counsel once told me regarding my habitual, copycat situation – “If they are following you, they will always be behind you.”  So to those dealing with this, keep doing you and doing it well; give your protege a tough act to follow.

Outfit Details: Lace Cropped Top (sold out) // White Fig Trousers // Leather Clutch