Lately, my main focus has been self-awareness. I’ve been totally engrossed in not only studying my many emotions, insecurities, securities, moods, desires, hangups, etc. - but most importantly, healing the things that are off balance within myself. And what I’m discovering in this process is that when a person knows themselves and accepts who they are, absolutely no one can disturb their peace.
There was a time in my life when I used to blame everything outside of myself for my reactions and emotions, when the truth was my reactions had nothing to do with the outside world but everything to do with what was going on inside of me.
There’s this girl who imitated almost everything I did, and it drove me nuts!! I was extremely flattered that she admired me, but it got pretty annoying at times. At first I would blame her insecurity for her actions and act as if my reaction to her actions were normal. Then when I got on this self-awareness journey, I was forced to turn the mirror on me and ask myself why her actions would make me so upset. Yes it’s annoying when people infringe upon my entire swag, but it shouldn’t evoke anger within me. So I began to pay attention to what I felt when she would copy me, and eventually I came up with the answer. I discovered that the irritation I experienced had nothing to do with her actions, but everything to do with what I felt about myself. Her copying me did not upset me because she was insecure, it bothered me because it triggered an insecurity that was swimming deep down inside of me. I felt I wasn’t great enough or worthy of that type of admiration. So whenever she copied me, I was actually getting frustrated with my insecurity - not hers.
By simply knowing myself, I’ve been set free from so many opinions, and I am very seldom bothered by the actions of others. There was a time when I used to ask myself what I did to make a person react how they reacted, now I’m learning that most people’s actions have nothing to do with me - but everything to do with what’s going on inside of them.
Know yourself, and then act accordingly.
Peace and Blessings
- Samjah Iman