Act Like You Know Better

Remember when our mothers used to warn us against touching hot stoves? We knew our mothers were telling the truth, but curiosity got the best of us so we had to touch the stove to see for ourselves. And when we touched it, we discovered what we already knew - that the stove was the temperature of hell. We knew better, but our carnal side won the battle. And it oftentimes still does. In 2019 I touched a few hot stoves against my better judgment. I made some moves that put me in some great positions and some moves I knew better than to make but did it anyway, and you better believe I paid the tolls for those decisions. So if someone were to ask me what’s the one thing I plan on doing in 2020 as a result of my experiences in 2019, I’d proudly answer them by saying, “I plan on “acting like I know better.”

If 2019 showed me nothing else, it definitely showed me that my past lessons, wisdom, and intuition are definitely my most promising guides. The consequences of not acting on the knowledge I possess cost me a lot of time and energy that I can’t afford to carelessly give away in 2020. I’m competent enough to know (in most cases) what actions produce favorable and unfavorable results, and I’m not only just holding that knowledge in my head in 2020, I’m acting on it as well.

Life is rolling, and it’s time out for games, serial mistakes, people who drain you, unhealthy relationships and food, uncomfortable jeans, procrastination, no sleep, immaturity, etc. Most of us are at the point now where we’ve gotten a few life experiences under our belt and as a result, we know what makes us happy, what makes us crazy, what’s good for us, and what isn’t. Of course we won’t get it right all the time, and we can’t control everything that will happen in life - but for the stuff we can control we need to exercise the wisdom that we’ve gained from our previous life experiences.  We always hear people say “look for the lesson in everything,” and I totally agree with this perspective. But let’s not only look for the lessons in everything, let’s implement what we’ve learned from those lessons. Because learning something new is half the battle, but exercising what you’ve learned is winning the war. Let’s not only say we are going to do better in the new year, let’s act like it.

“When you know better, you do better.”

— Maya Angelou

Happy Holidays S&E Family! Whatever you normally do during this time of the year, make sure you incorporate a little relaxation and reflection into that routine. We all need it. I’ll holler at you guys soon!

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Outfit Details: Vintage Leather Coat // Vintage Jeans // White Booties

The Briefing

I’ve been in three different cities in the last week. I have two different cities to visit in the middle of this week and one next week. Tired doesn’t adequately describe how I feel right now, but I’m pushing through because I know there’s something on the other side of this grind that will be more than rewarding for me and the people in my circle. Because I urgently need some rest and relaxation in my life, I’m not going to keep you all long. I’m laying out a somewhat quick summation of what I’ve been moved by and feeding off of the last two weeks in hopes of passing on some good information to you guys. Let’s jump into the briefing below.

What I’m Currently Feeding My Mind - Podcasts have been getting me through these road trips and grind sessions. I religiously tune into the David Banner Podcast for good laughs and enlightening information. Banner and his crew love to kid around often on the podcast, but they haven’t failed me yet when it comes to interviewing interesting guests and providing solid motivation. The other day I listened to his two-part interview with rapper, songwriter, and music producer THE D.O.C. I literally soaked up every word! His story was inspiring and unique. He talks about his tumultuous, yet triumphant journey through his career, how his spirituality has evolved because of it, and how he learned from life’s ebbs and flows. He even touched on him and my girl Erykah Badu’s relationship! Check the episodes out here…. (part 1 and part 2) - at the least you’ll definitely be entertained.

Another podcast that has my attention is a series called Making Beyoncé on WBEZ Chicago. It tells the story of Beyoncé’s career from her childhood to her adulthood. You’ve probably heard Bey’s story a hundred times before, but this is a little different. The perspective of this story comes from the people she encountered in the music industry, her past group mate, and her father. Listening to this podcast was uplifting and empowering. It inspired me to keep going even when everything around you says stop. You can say what you want about Beyoncé, but you can’t say that woman hasn’t earned her accolades. Check it out here.

Some Good Advice I Received - I was letting my playlist do its thing while driving the other day, and it pleasantly surprised me with an oldie but goodie - Feng Shui by Gnarls Barkley (hadn’t heard this album in a minute - man I miss good, eccentric music). As soon as the lyrics started coming through the speakers, my attention was peaked…..“In this house the decor is the obvious obscure. See clearly the theory of less is more………..and you’re welcome to stay, but even your company must complement the feng shui.” I’ve been on this “less is more” lifestyle lately, and it’s very cleansing - so hearing this song was like a sign assuring me that I was on the right path. I’m clearing out unnecessary things in order to feel lighter. And when I heard Gnarls’ line “even your company must complement the feng shui,” I realized that not only do I need to clear some things out of my head, heart, space, etc., I also need to make sure the people who surround me or who try to come in my house ( i.e. my heart, my life, my space, etc.) must match my vibe and energy. Thanks Gnarls.

What I’m Working On - Another thing I’m working on besides clearing my space is moving to my own beat. I’m extremely conscious and focused on making sure almost everything I’m doing is aligned with my wants, aspirations, and needs. When it’s all said and done, I want to make sure I lived my life for me and no one else. I want to be able to take full responsibility for all of my choices and actions. I want to do things not because others think I should, but because I choose to. My goal is to continue to operate in authenticity - no matter how that looks.

My Quote Of The Week - “The truth bangs harder. We learn that the more we tell it.” - Saul Williams - It isn’t always easy to tell or live in truth, but it is extremely liberating when we do it - EXTREMELY.

My Current Fashion Obsessions - I am totally into my white boots. I purchased an off white pair (that I still wear) last year, but this year I’m into the whitest of the white boots. They pop so well with dark colors, and there’s something about them that polishes up a look and gives it a crisp vibe. Check out how I styled my white booties below.

Oh, I’m also digging my Teddy Coat from Shein. It’s so comfortable and warm! It also adds a funkiness to any look whether it be a dressed up or down look. Check that out below as well.

Picture Credit: Felicia T. Simpson

Picture Credit: 87 Photography

Until the next time,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Black Jumper (available in-store only) // Black and White Earrings (available in-store only) // White Booties // Teddy Coat // Dr. Martens Patent Leather Boots // Fanny Pack

Clear Your Plate First

It’s Thanksgiving, and my mother’s famous dressing is calling my name. When I was younger, I couldn’t wait for the holidays to roll around because I knew some good cooking was in order. My mother would reach deep down in her southern/western roots and turn the kitchen out on holidays like Thanksgiving. We would have all kinds of food like mustard greens, rolls, fresh green beans, Cornish hens, fried turkey, potato salad, etc. and my one of my favorite desserts - sweet potato pie. I would rush to the kitchen as soon as I heard the “food is ready” announcement. I would see the spread of eats propped on the counter, and my eyes would widen with anticipation. My stomach would literally growl at the smell and sight. I would snatch my plate off the counter and commence to piling every entrée and side dish I saw on it. When I felt I had everything my tummy desired, I would head to the dinner table so the feasting could begin. And right when I was about to lift the fork to my mouth, I would see my brother or father come to the table with a dish that I must’ve overlooked. Not wanting to leave any food unclaimed, I would jump right back up from the table to go grab the omitted dish. But before I could wrap my little hand around the serving spoon to get my gigantic helping, my mother would catch me and say, “Sam, eat what’s on your plate first then see if you have room for something else.”

Yup, my eyes were definitely bigger than my stomach as a child. And it seems I sometimes still suffer from that same issue today when it comes to work. I’m learning all over again to “eat what’s on my plate” before I take on another dish. The last few months have had my head spinning in multiple directions, and it’s all my fault. You see, I’ve been enticed by the dollars that have been sitting on the counter waiting to be grabbed and that has led me to take on project after project. And when it’s all said and done, I’m left with a plate full of food and no appetite.

You know how you feel when you overeat? That’s how taking on more than I can handle feels to me. It’s like I’m continuously pushing food in my mouth even though I’m already chewing on a wad of bread - it’s pure gluttony. Having too much on plate results in me stuffing myself which then turns into exhaustion, regret, and heaviness. I’m also not able to give each task/dish my undivided attention because I’m constantly thinking about the next task/dish and trying to clear my plate in a hurry so I don’t miss out on anything else. I’m definitely learning my lesson though, and all it took was for me to reflect on that simple directive my mother gave to me in the kitchen on holidays. When I begin to clear my plate before I take on any other tasks, I’m able to be more focused, take my time, and produce my best work. I’m no longer letting my greed overpower my needs. I eat what I have and only get seconds if there’s room.

Eating what’s in front of me,

- Samjah Iman

Wishing everyone a very happy and safe Thanksgiving! I’m grateful for each and every person who has visited and will visit this blog and those who leave comments. I sincerely appreciate you all!

P.S. - Oh and yes that is a coat that I wore as a dress….hey, a girl has got to be innovative with this fashion thing, you feel me?!

xoxo

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Outfit Details: Vintage Leather Coat // Black Leather Booties (Zara, sold out - similar here)

Adjustments

The weather here in Louisiana does whatever the hell it wants to do. One day you’re pulling out your shorts and sandals in anticipation of a festival, and the next day you’re wrapped up like rice and beans in a burrito. Just this past weekend I was rocking leggings and a top sans coat, and yesterday I had on almost every clothing article I own in an effort to block the chill. Even though this unpredictable forecast makes it hard to plan ahead when it comes to outfits, I don’t complain. Because being a life-long Louisianian, I’m used to the inconsistent weather (especially during this time of year). And as I was turning off my air conditioner (once again) the other day preparing to adjust to the cold, I thought about how such is life - adjustments.

I no longer wait for life to adjust to me, I adjust to it. If life throws me a little more than what I ask for, I get a bigger glove to catch it all. If life wants to take its time, I slow down and rest right along with it. Not adjusting to life’s shenanigans and going against the grain when everything else around you is changing is like refusing to wear a coat in 20 degree weather because you’re mad the temperature dropped…a total unnecessary struggle.

Making adjustments is a part of life. They aren’t always easy to do, but in order for us to get to the next level, we must constantly adapt and adjust. In most cases I’m faced with two choices when a situation arises- I can either complain that it’s happening, or I can adjust my vibrations/position/attitude to adapt and move forward. Of course the complaining won’t get me anywhere, but the adjustments eventually will. Because with each adjustment comes a little more strength, a little more perseverance, and a little more wisdom. It’s just like playing chess or a sport. If your opponent (life) makes one move, you don’t just stand there and complain because they did it, you make a move too. And the more moves you make, the better you get. And the better you become, the more victories you’ll have.

“The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails.”

— John Maxwell

Adjusting,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Top (Zara, in store only) // Jeans // Hat // Mules

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Are You The Composer?

I’ve been having a few conversations with my loved ones about living authentically and how important, yet rare it is for some people to do. The convos forced me to juxtapose my vision with the vision society/social media says I should have. I thought about the businesses Instagram tells me I should be starting and how hard I should be hustling. I thought about the standards being forced in my face everyday. I thought about where society/social media says I should be at my age, then I thought about the goals I have for myself. All of my thinking prompted me to ask myself if my vision was solely mine or one that had been cultivated by all the propaganda thrown at me daily. What portion of my dreams comes from my true desires and what portion comes from societal/social media ideologies? I thought deeply about my likes and dislikes, my wants, my aspirations, etc., and I’m slowly coming to this conclusion…..I don’t have to have half of the stuff society/social media says I should want. I’m good with living the simplest life if that means I get to live in my truth.

We are currently in a time where if you’re not striving for a certain type of relationship/family, constantly traveling all over the world, owning your own business, buying over-the-top houses, fancy cars, or living lavishly - you’re viewed as unaccomplished. So many people are being enveloped by society’s/social media’s perception of life that they aren’t in touch with their own aspirations anymore. When was the last time you stopped and asked yourself what type of life you really wanted? What makes you really happy? That’s the phase I’m currently in. I’m trying to weed out the noise in order to make sure my life is aligned with what I deem as happiness, not someone else’s definition.

Believe or not, I’ve tried living out other people’s fantasies for my life. And each time I did it, you better believe it didn’t prosper. I tried the “let me work this job that doesn’t nurture my talents but it’s secure” phase, and it eventually led to a breaking point. I tried the “everyday I’m hustling” and “let me try to own several businesses” phase, and since that wasn’t what was in my spirit - I was constantly burnt out, stressed, and uninspired. It wasn’t until I got totally real with myself and my desires that I discovered the world’s standards don’t fit my vibe at all, but my truth (no matter how simple it may be) brings me harmony. I don’t have to have a thriving business, a luxurious vehicle, or the biggest bank account in the world. I just have to have my type of fulfillment. And for me, that doesn’t come from living how society/social media says I should, it comes from living how I want to live.

Are you the composer of your life or just the translator of the song someone else wrote for you?

In my truth,

- Samjah Iman

Style Tip: Blazers are one of the most convenient staples you can have in your closet. They can be dressed up or down, and they can spice up any mediocre look. Get you some blazers asap! The Goodwill has plenty of them for super low prices!

Outfit Details: Vintage Blazer // Vintage Gucci // Short Jumpsuit // Adidas

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Asking Myself This One Question Is Changing My Trajectory

I read a particular article not too long ago that totally gave me a “wow” moment. This simple article was about a lady who was seeing a therapist because her marriage was on the rocks. She was distraught and confused about her situation until her free-spirited therapist (as described in her article) asked her this one question….”What would you do about this situation if fear wasn’t in the equation?” Immediately after the sentence left the therapist’s mouth, the lady said she knew exactly what her answer was and what she needed to do. My mind was consumed by reflection after reading that article. I thought about how fear is the focal point of a lot of decisions being made or not being made. I then asked myself, “Sam, what would you be doing right now if fear wasn’t a part of the equation?” Listen…..I came up with about 20 different things without even thinking twice.

People are always talking about how fear is the reason most aren’t achieving their grand goals. But what’s not often discussed is how fear possibly governs even the smallest situations in our everyday lives. To put it plainly, some of us are basically scared of rejection, outcomes, and consequences not just regarding the major things, but the minor things as well. For instance, sometimes we won’t say what we feel because we are afraid a person will stop speaking to us or take our feelings the wrong way. Sometimes we won’t make that call because we are scared the other person won’t answer. Some of us are scared to rest because we fear someone will outdo us or something won’t get done so we work ourselves to death. Some of us are scared that life won’t turn out how we want it to so we rush into doing things. Some of us are scared of not having enough of whatever we need so we become physical and emotional hoarders. Some of us are scared that others will think the worst of us so we put up fronts. Fear is taking the wheel in a number of situations in our lives, and it’s time to pull the car over and switch drivers.

After reading the article, I incorporated that question into my everyday actions. When a dilemma arises, no matter how big or small, I ask myself what I would do if fear wasn’t in the equation. In most situations, the answer comes to me faster than I can blink. Asking myself this simple, yet powerful question has helped me discover more of my truth. I now know the main reason behind some of my actions and setbacks. And now that I know what the exact issue is….the real work is about to begin. Because knowing what you need to do is one thing, actually doing it is a whole other (and baby, that’s an entire post for another day…whew child).

Negating Fear,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Flannel Shirt (Walmart) // Adidas Biker Shorts // Socks // Dr. Martens

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

It All Has Purpose

It’s all a part of the plan y’all.

In the past, I would often hear the phrase “everything happens for a reason.” Of course I didn’t really grasp it until I got a few years of living under my belt. Yea I knew what it meant when I heard it, but what I didn’t know at that time was how diving deeper into that phrase could positively affect my outlook on life. You see, saying everything happened for a reason didn’t really give me the answers I was searching for. It just made me more anxious to seek the reason for each situation. Fast forward to now, and the phrase “everything happens for a reason” has a more profound meaning for me - one that satisfies my curiosity and puts me at ease. Instead of chalking a crazy situation up to the old “everything happens for a reason” cliche, I now look at my circumstances as pieces to a puzzle that make up this beautiful journey I’m on.

Whenever I’m in an uncomfortable situation (or comfortable situation), on a job I don’t like (or one that I love), or dealing with a difficult person (or a pleasant person), I remind myself that I was supposed to meet these people and encounter these situations in order to get to the next phase in my life. Everything we deal with and every person who comes into our lives is here to reveal something vital about ourselves. There are lessons and skills we must acquire from each of our encounters in order to proceed to our next journey. And you better believe when we fail to grasp these lessons/skills, we repeat the encounters/situations until we do grasp them (let that sink in for a second). I think back to past, failed relationships I was in or jobs I had that I felt were beneath my skill set. I despised being in those moments and environments, but I had to go through them, because without them - I wouldn’t be me, nor would I have been prepared for forthcoming situations.

EVERYTHING we deal with is all a part of a grand scheme. Everyone you meet, every job, every encounter, every situation has purpose. It or they come into our lives to prepare us for what lies ahead. If I don’t get something I’ve been waiting to receive, I now tell myself that there is either a purpose for it or a lesson to be learned. Nowadays if I come in contact with a person that irks my nerves, I ask myself, “What is this person here to teach me or show me about myself?” When we are in the midst of difficult situations we can’t see the purpose, and oftentimes we don’t understand why they are happening. But if we approach each situation going forward with the mindset that it has purpose (even though it may not be promptly revealed) and is needed in order to teach us something or propel us to the next phase of our lives, I’m willing to bet that even the most confusing situation will be that much more manageable.

Looking at the bigger picture,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Dopeaholics Hat // Boots (old, similar here) // Shorts (made my yours truly) // Shirt (old) // Purse

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Rewiring My Mind

I write these blog posts that document my journey to becoming a better me, but writing is only half the battle. I still have to put in major work outside of these blogs because, simply put, life is real. I’ve come far on my journey, and I’m very proud of that fact. Yet in still, I have to put in work daily to keep up what I’ve achieved thus far. You wouldn’t stop exercising after you’ve reached your ideal weight, huh? I sure hope not…or else you’ll eventually go back to square one….and that’s the point many people don’t emphasize - the work to maintain your progress.

For instance, we are often bombarded with messages about the importance of shifting our mindsets and thinking positive. But rarely do we see messages that tell us how much work it is to do those things. Experts estimate that we have about 60,000-80,000 thoughts per day. Now take a second and think about the work you have to put in to tame all of those thoughts that run rapidly through your head. With that many thoughts shifting in and out of our brains, it’s so easy to let our minds get off track here and there. And because it’s so easy to go back to our old default settings, every now and then we have to do some rewiring.

We get so caught up in and bogged down by our everyday lives that sometimes we forget to be intentional with our thoughts. When you’re concentrating on paying bills, feeding people, meeting deadlines, fighting traffic, and listening to other people’s perceptions - controlling your thoughts may fall by the wayside at times. I know my efforts to control my thoughts definitely plummeted these past couple of weeks. I was so caught up in what was going on in the world because I messed around and saw some crazy stuff on the news (which I try not to watch often), so of course my mind began to wonder….”What if this happens? What if I never? What if it’s not meant? What if that and what if this?” Next thing you know, stress and anxiety were threatening my peace. Fast forward a few days later, the universe came to my aid and, out of the blue, placed me and a friend of mine in the same space (everything happens for a reason). We ate lunch and talked about our vibrations and how powerful the mind is and things that happen as a result of us not controlling our thoughts and the energy around us…..and then it dawned on me - my positive vibrations went awry and my mind reverted back to where I worked so hard to bring it from because I allowed the negative things I witnessed to occupy my mind longer than they needed to. The wrong thoughts began to consume my mind, and I had to put in the work to get back on the right path mentally. I had to dig deeper in my yoga class, continuously listen to uplifting music (no trap music for a minute), fall asleep with positive podcasts playing in my ear, read affirming words religiously, and have positive conversations with people who were on the vibrations I was trying to get back to. And you better believe my spirits were lifted again almost immediately.

Just like every other thing in our life that needs maintaining, our mind is no exception. We just can’t declare we want to think differently then sit and watch it happen. Or we can’t just work on our minds once and be done. It takes a lot of effort, faith, and daily work to train our minds to think how we want them to think. We’re going to slip at times, and we’re going to have to do some rewiring to rectify those slips….but as long as we understand it’s a constant practice, we are definitely on the right path….mentally.

Changing my mindset…..every second,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Yah is Dope Yoga shorts, Crop Top, & Fanny Pack // Boots

Oh and don’t forget to cop your SOMEONE’S DAUGHTER t-shirt before they are all gone!! I only have 7 left! Get yours here!

Picture Credit: Welch, Inc Photography

Five Ways I Stock Up on My Emotional Currency

I’m constantly evolving. I try each day to be my best self, and of course sometimes I fall short. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not going to hit the bullseye every single time, and I’m okay with that. As long as I keep working towards being the best Sam I can be, it’s all good. Life is a journey - it’s ongoing. We will forever be improving, learning new things, contradicting ourselves as a result of learning new things, and striving for greatness. Becoming the best you doesn’t mean you will get it right each time, nor does it mean you are going to be the perfect human being. It just means that you’re becoming more self-aware, and that you’re on a steady path of looking inward (checking yourself often) more than you do outward (blaming everyone/everything for your actions/emotions). Once I realized that becoming my better self is a constant practice, I relaxed. Things began to flow a little easier, and I was able to do the work without any pressure. I began to heal, display more grace and mercy for myself and others, and stock up on some much needed emotional currency. I’m no therapist or psychiatrist, nor do I have all the answers. I’m just a woman who has been blessed with wise counsel and lessons on top of lessons. And when I learn a lesson or receive some great advice from a trusting source, I feel it’s my duty to disseminate said knowledge so that others can be blessed as well - hence, Style & Energy.

I got some great feedback from my previous post, Can You Afford It….Emotionally. I’m truly grateful that I could inspire at least one person to take emotional inventory. It’s imperative that we stock up on our emotional currency constantly because life takes a lot out of us. Therefore, we must replenish what we’ve lost so that we can stay spiritually full.

In keeping my promise that I made in my last post, I’m sharing five ways I stock up on my emotional currency. Let’s dive into them below.

1. Heal

   I’m on a healing path. I’m learning to speak up when I’ve been wronged or confide in a trusting source about my traumatic incidents. And if talking is too uncomfortable, I journal about them. Any process that allows you to open your wounds and clean them out will definitely help with healing. When we don’t heal properly we tend to carry those unhealed experiences around with us piling one negative experience on top of the next. Pretty soon, we get to a weary and weighed down place because we are carrying too much. We have to not only say we are going to let go, but actually do it. Letting go surely doesn’t happen over night. It’s a process. But if we are truly dedicated to our healing, it’s a process we must work on daily. Another thing I do that is beneficial to my healing is forgiving myself. I rest in the fact that I only acted off the limited knowledge I had in the past, and as Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.” Therefore, I don’t beat myself up about what I didn’t know then. I just try my best to make good use of the knowledge I have now.

2. Feel

   I now embrace every feeling I have. I’m not faking the funk or hiding it. Ignoring or hiding your feelings only pushes them under the rug. And you better believe when someone “flips” that rug one day (i.e. pisses you off or disappoints you), all the feelings you’ve been tucking away will fly up from under that rug just like dust. I discovered that there is no way to go over my feelings, under them, around them, over them, or on the side of them. I have to go through them. I have to embrace my feelings and be real with myself about them. When I’m hurt, I allow myself to be hurt. When I’m sad, I allow that….happy, etc. Feeling your emotions when they arise allows you to tend to them right then and there so that you can clear out any toxicity in real time. Tucking them away allows the toxicity to fester which depletes you over time, and this is definitely a set-up for a future debacle.

3. Confer With and Feed Your Spirit

   The more I listen to my spirit, the stronger it becomes. Choosing to consult my spirit on the choices I make has been one of my best moves yet. In the past, I would end up in some crazy situations simply because I didn’t follow my gut/spirit. And the moment I began to honor my higher self, my higher self began to honor me in return. Tending to my spirit is like drinking water - it’s essential for my well-being. In order for me to have a healthy emotional balance, I have to make sure my spirit is flushed out and filled up often. Yoga, soulful music, positive affirmations, books, and writing are some of the things that help me achieve a full spirit. Click here to see some other ways in which I feed my spirit/soul.

4. Know and Respect Your Limits

   Once you discover what your emotional triggers are, honor them. It’s one thing to know something, but it’s a totally different thing to act upon what you know. If a certain person, situation, or environment depletes your energy or contributes to your emotions spiraling out of control, try to find the will power to either change your attitude or limit your involvement with that person, situation, or environment. Just like some of us know our limit and respect it when it comes to drinking alcohol due to experiencing those fun, inebriated moments-turned stomach curling disasters, we should also learn our limits and respect them when it comes to spending our emotions. If you know what the consequences will be and you can live with the hang over, then jump out there. But if you know the hang over will put you in a funk that will eventually become taxing on your spirit, your mental, and your emotions - “back up off of it and sit your cup down.” - Snoop Dog.

5. Take Some Time To Be With Yourself

   I was watching an interview featuring rapper/actor/music producer David Banner that resonated with me. Banner proclaimed, during this interview, that he was currently happier than he had ever been in his life. The person conducting the interview asked him what was the source that contributed to his happiness. Banner answered, “loving myself….truly loving myself and the God in me.” He went on to say that he could be by himself now. He could sit alone in a coffee or tea shop or not feel the need to turn a TV on when he’s in his own company because he truly loves being with him. Solitude is a genuine expression of self love. Finding the time to sit or be with yourself helps to rejuvenate you. It allows you to explore your thoughts and feelings and connect with your inner God without any interruptions. Certain people and things can exhaust our energy thus draining our emotional bank. We have to step away from those people/things every so often to check in with ourselves - making sure we are good.

I’m still a work in progress, but these simple practices have helped me tremendously. Of course everyone is different, and what works for me may not work for the next person. You can try my tactics, tweak them to fit your vibe, or come up with a complete set of new ones. Whatever you choose to do, just make sure you put in the work to get your emotional currency up - because EVERYTHING comes with a price.

Saving,

- Samjah Iman

Oh……the ‘I’m Someone’s Daughter Too’ Tees are back in stock!!!!! Get yours here before they are gone!

Outfit Details: Bralette (similar, here) // Black Oversized Joggers // Mules 

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Can You Afford It....Emotionally?

Overspending is not the most responsible thing to do. And you might as well call me careless because I’ve done it SEVERAL times. There have been instances where I knew better than to spend my last on a pair of boots, but I did it anyway - and a scant savings and Raisin Bran cereal dinners were my consequences. I’ve been in the overspending mode quite a few times and each time I did it, I had some major bouncing back to do. Nowadays, I try to be more responsible with my coins. Before I purchase most things, I ask myself - do I need it?…and second and most importantly - can I afford it? By asking myself these simple questions, I’m prompted to think before I impulsively act - and as a result, I’ve saved myself a few dollars here and there. Since this simple technique works so well with my money, I decided to try it with my emotions as well. And let me tell you this….it hasn’t been easy, BUT it has saved me from a few disappointments and turmoil along the way.

Through conversation with a friend some time ago, I’ve come to realize that our emotions always pay a price for most of the choices we make. It’s perplexing how some of us are somewhat conscious when it comes to our finances, but not as conscious when it comes to our emotional bank. We check our bank accounts often to make sure we are good financially….but rarely do we check in on our emotions for the same reason. We jump into cyclonic circumstances, choose shaky situations, or allow frivolous things to happen that we know will possibly have an impact on our mental peace and emotional well-being. Some of us are adamant about saving money and getting our bank account to a certain status, yet our emotions are almost bankrupt.

There was a time when I would allow myself to choose or go back to certain relationships/situations that I knew drained me instead of fueled me. My emotional bank was already low (because I hadn’t healed properly), and accepting said relationships or situations depleted what little emotional currency I had left. I knew choosing those relationships/situations would be emotionally taxing and therefore have me in a slump that would be hard to come out of - but I jumped in anyway….well, because… (as I said before), I was an overspender. After countless times of blaming the other person, bumping my head, suffering from hurt feelings, and a fair share of self-sabotage, I now watch my emotions like I watch my money. When I’m presented with a situation these days that requires me to open up and give all of me, I make sure to ask myself, “Sam, how much is this going to cost you emotionally, and can you afford it?” I get real with myself. I weigh the consequences. I check my emotional bank. And if the situation is worth my while, AND I have a substantial amount of emotional currency saved up - I may jump out there. But…if my bank account is low, and I’m on my last - I pass it up.

Although I’m still evolving and learning daily, I can honestly affirm that a lot of my maturity and growth is attributed to me being a good steward over the emotional situations I get involved in. Of course every situation isn’t avoidable, but by building up my emotional bank - I’m able to handle the unforeseen a little better than I would if my emotional bank was empty. Have you ever seen someone fly off the handle easily or cry hysterically over every little thing that happens to them? It’s probably because they have been emotionally overspending for a while now - and as a result, their emotional bank account is in the red.

There are too many instances in the past where I piled one dramatic situation on top of another which resulted in my emotional bank running low. So now I try to keep my emotional bank account as plentiful as possible. And since it feels so good to have extra emotional currency just sitting in the bank, I don’t plan on ever going in the red again. But if for some reason I do, I’ll make sure to stack my emotional coins back up before I purchase the next adventure.

P.S. - Soon I’ll share with you all the ways I stock up on my emotional currency in hopes of helping someone.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Breakdown to Rebuild

I remember my first day at Howard University like it was this morning. I sat in my African American Film class all bright eyed and bushy-tailed (and dressed to the nines of course), ready to conquer the new chapter of my life. After several minutes, the professor finally sashayed into the classroom and - before she could even introduce herself - commenced to throwing around ideologies and theories pertaining to the hegemonic structure and social construction. My right hand began to shake while attempting to take notes…..”hegemon-who?", I thought to myself as I frantically scribbled on my notebook paper. As the professor continued to inconsiderately regurgitate words that made absolutely no sense to me, I quickly scanned the room to see if I was the only one having a twilight zone experience. I was. My diplomatic peers, hailing from all over the world, began going toe to toe with the professor verbally - putting their two-cents on the topics at hand like they had taught a few college courses of their own in the past. I just sat there in shock and shrunk smaller with every foreign word that was being spoken around me. As soon as class was adjourned, I packed up my bag and ran straight to the nearest bathroom. I locked myself in a stall, called my mother, and before she could utter hello, I started balling my eyes out. Through uncontrollable sobs I managed to say, “Momma, I can’t do this! I don’t know enough to be at this school. My education didn’t prepare me for this! I want to leave!” After my Oscar-worthy, dramatic breakdown, I just knew my mother was about to send the first thing smoking to DC to rescue her youngest child. So I took a deep breath and patiently waited for her to spell out my exit plan. She didn’t. Instead she said, “You are just as capable as everyone in that classroom. So you have to decide if you’re going to face the challenge or run from it. Now put yourself back together, and go make the choice.” I mended eventually….and I ended up acing that class….and the other classes that followed. I just needed that “bathroom release” to jump start what turned out to be an amazing, worthwhile journey.

You know how we take some things apart and put them back together in order for them to function better? That works for us too. Sometimes we need to fall apart, detach, collapse, and come undone in order to come back strong. People often try to avoid a good cry or breakdown because it makes them feel defeated and/or vulnerable. But like a friend once told me (brace yourself, it’s a little graphic), “A good cry is like a good bowel movement….it cleans your system out.” It’s necessary to let your pinned up emotions flow freely (responsibly of course) so that you get all of those toxins and stress out of your body in preparation for rejuvenation. When you think about it, breaking down is a part of a process that a lot of systems go through in order to function properly. For example, you have to shut down computers every now and then for them to continue to work properly. Some electronics need to be taken apart and put back together to get them to act right. And it’s no different for us.

So take a moment, when necessary, and come all the way undone. Let go of all your inhibitions in order to rid your system of any pinned up stress. Then after your meltdown is over, take a deep breath, collect the pieces, and put yourself back together again. I’m sure you’ll get the boost you need to keep going.

Peace and Blessings ya’ll,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Top // Jeans (I cut them up) // Dr. Martens 

Photo Credit: Mary Martin

10 Ways I'm Managing Stress

Listen…stress has been trying to be my best friend since the end of last year. Every time I turn around it’s all up in my space, threatening me with its heavy burdens. The other afternoon I made plans to head home immediately after I finished my work, change into some workout clothes, and get to my exercise class on time. Well…..I did make it home, but I didn’t get a chance to put on any workout clothes. As soon as I stepped over my threshold, I was greeted with water all over my kitchen and living room floor - saturating my beautiful rugs and internet router. My first reaction was “are you kidding me!?”….and I let myself have that moment. Then I exercised one of my stress-fighting tactics and looked on the bright side. I began to think about the other tragic things that could have happen but didn’t. My mood was instantly lifted, and I began to rectify the situation as best as I could.

Chaos doesn’t stop. Life will continuously happen. Just as the sun comes up, it’s a pretty good chance some crap will come up with it. Therefore we must learn how to manage most of our stress because life is on a roll, and it’s not slowing down any time soon. In case you’re still struggling with ways to control your stress, maybe some of the 10 tactics I’m using to manage my stress will give you ideas. Check it out below.

1. I’m not viewing everything as a stressful situation - At one point in my life, every bump in the road seemed like a stressful situation BECAUSE I MADE IT ONE!!! I would often make a small issue bigger than it needed to be. Now days, if it’s something that hasn’t harmed me or my loved ones or jeopardized my livelihood, I take it with a grain of salt. Delayed flight? No worries, I’ll get there when I’m supposed to. Missed opportunity? It wasn’t meant. Late getting to an event to no fault of my own? Guess I wasn’t supposed to be there at a certain time. It’s too many inconveniences happening throughout the day to make a big fuss about all of them. So when it comes to this stress thing, I’m choosing my battles wisely.

2. Sometimes I do nothing - Every now and then I stress myself out more when I try to find a solution to an already stressful situation. These days, if it’s out of my control, I try to leave it alone and let it work itself out. When we take our hands off of certain situations, the Creator then intervenes on our behalf. This is where the serenity prayer comes in handy (google it if you need to).

3. I’m being grateful - When something crazy happens, I always try to be grateful for the simple fact that it could have been worse. I think about people who’ve gone through far more trying times, and suddenly my problems seem trivial. Gratitude forces me to nix my complaining and count my blessings.

4. I give myself a moment - We get so caught up in trying to be the ultimate positive person that we forget we are real humans with real emotions. Sometimes when we are hit with an unfamiliar occurrence, our first reaction is not always zen-filled. And my advice is to give yourself a moment to express your authentic feelings towards any stressful situation. Allow yourself to be human. If you’re mad, be mad. If you need to cry, cry. Holding in frustration and faking the funk will only lead to more stressful feelings internally. So have your moment, give yourself the space and time to feel whatever you need to feel, then move forward. Releasing your true feelings is like releasing toxins from your body…..it’s good for your internal system. It’s nothing wrong with expressing true emotions, just don’t dwell in that emotional space.

5. I laugh at some of my problems - Of course not all problems are laughable, but the ones that don’t wreck havoc get a chuckle or two from me. This reminds me not to take life too seriously. It also reminds me that I’m way more powerful than the problem at hand.

6. I go to hot yoga class like it’s church - Going to my hot yoga class has truly done wonders for my stress levels. Yoga emphasizes the importance of relying on your breathing in every pose/situation. This practice forces me to be calm, still, in the moment, and patient. Being in the moment is half the battle when it comes to managing stress. To sum up a message from my girl Erykah Badu, most stress comes from thinking about the past or thinking about what’s to come….and we don’t have either. All we have is now. So with the help of yoga, I’m able to be more mentally discipline and hone in on the present.

7. I look for the lesson and/or blessing - When a stressful situation arises I take the time to feel my emotions, grasp what’s going on, and then I ask myself, “What can I learn from this?” or “What good thing came out of this?” Almost every time I ask myself those questions, I get an answer because I’m seeking one. When you look for the good, it always shows up.

8. I listen to jazz - Music is like food to me. It fuels me. And when I seek calmness, one of my go-to music genres is jazz. Jazz is medicine for my soul. It’s soothing to my ears and mind. Jazz has a way of smoothing any mood out, and this is especially helpful during difficult times.

9. I rest in the fact that it will pass - My favorite mantra I reference often is, “This too shall pass.” With a little time and a lot patience, whatever I’m dealing with will pass. When a problem arises, I return to this mantra. I also recall all of the past problems I’ve had, and I think about how I got over them. And I know this one will not be any different.

10. I get it off my chest - Sometimes you just have to hear yourself talk about your issues. Getting it off your chest or discussing your issues with loved ones is another way to manage your stressful situations. A listening ear is valuable, and sometimes just by hearing ourselves talk about our problems out loud we began to feel better or find a solution on our own. And if you prefer not to talk to anyone about your problems, release your frustrations on paper. Lingering stress is equivalent to having an infection in your body. You have to get it out or else it will fester and turn into something worse.

There you have it, 10 ways to get your stress under control. If you have any other suggestions on managing stress, please leave them in the comments below!

Oh and peep out my stunning outfit I found at Fharenheit 360. I can’t get over this tiered skirt!!

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Picture Credit: Urban 504 Photography

Doing Less to get More

A week or so before Essence Festival, I was mentally burned out. I had been stretched in 50 different directions, and all I wanted to do was sit on my couch and binge watch Girlfriends and Sex and the City while eating banana bread. The return of Essence Fest, to me, meant a hint of fun mixed with long hours, work, more work, strict deadlines, and pure pandemonium. Now don’t get it twisted, I wasn’t tripping off the hard work…I’m no foreigner to the grind….I was just growing weary of being busy and not strategic. So Essence Festival came and went, and just like I predicted - I ran myself into the ground….and the money I made didn’t match the hustle I put in. A few days after Essence Fest, I came across a quote that I know for sure was thrown in my path on purpose. Check it out below.

““The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.””

— Warren Buffett

This quote bopped me right on the top of my head and planted itself in my psyche. I thought about it days after I read it. Shortly after discovering the quote, a friend (out the blue) called and suggested that I read the book The One Thing by Gary Keller (when certain subjects keep coming up in my environment, this is one of the ways I know God is speaking to me). Stumbling upon that quote and getting that book prompted me to reanalyze what success looked like to me and the most effective way to reach it. And the first thing I began to do was…..trim the fat.

In my opinion, Mr. Buffett is basically saying to weed out the things that are not aligned with your goals so that you can get to the things that are. Sometimes my hands are in too many pots which results in me not bearing any fruits. But when I concentrate on a specific thing, I master it. When I first started this blog/influencer journey, I tried to take on as many projects as possible so that I could get my brand out there. I was all over the place which quickly drained me and left me no energy to complete the important tasks. Now days, I’m learning more and more that being busy and being productive are not related. The more tasks you take on that are unrelated to your goals, the further away from your goals you’ll be. But if you sift through the rubbish and get to the treasure, you’ll actually accomplish more.

“If you chase two rabbits, you will not catch either one.”

— Russian Proverb

So now I’m laser focused. I’m carving out my main goal and sticking to it. If something comes up that doesn’t align with my main goal, presents itself as just busy work, or doesn’t feel right in my spirit - I nip it. And because I’ve gotten so focused, a lot of the right things have been coming my way. And as a result, more opportunities are on the horizon.

Think about it, entrepreneurs like Jay Z came into the business concentrating on one goal. In Jay’s instance, it was rap. He went so hard with rap that of course he succeeded. And as a result of that achievement, success in other areas followed.

Doing less to get more might sound crazy to some. But for me it’s just what the doctor ordered. Because being involved in everything means you’re actually involved in nothing due to your attention and energy being unevenly divided. But putting all your attention and energy into fewer things (or one thing) can give you the results you desire and then some.

“He who works all day has no time to make money.”

— John D. Rockefeller

Doing less….getting more,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: These overalls came straight from my Aunt’s closet. She made me swear I wouldn’t slice them up….however, my cutting finger has been itching!! LOL! Oh, and of course they are vintage!! Ya’ll know me!

You and Your Friends Should Be Equally Yoked, Too...

My mother once told me that I’d be blessed to have maybe a few real friends in this lifetime. She would say to me quite often, “Sam, everyone isn’t your friend.” Of course then, I thought she was tripping. Because during the time she presented me with that information, I was befriending people I shouldn’t have due to my free heart and humanitarian spirit. After playing Miss Overtly Nice Girl for waaaayyyy too long, I finally came to the conclusion that everyone isn’t meant to ride on this journey with me as a friend. Yes I would still be my nice, cordial self - but befriending individuals who were not on the same spiritual path as I was had to come to an end. After hanging with those fair-weather people who literally depleted my energy, I learned that not only does being equally yoked apply to romantic relationships, it applies to platonic friendships as well.

The word friend holds a lot of weight, and I truly believe it flies out of some people’s mouths too easily. Friends are not just someone you kick it with here and there. Friends are people who evolve with you, who you feel connected to spiritually, and who you can relate to soulfully. To be a true friend and to find a true friend is challenging, because the majority of people in this world are not at peace with themselves - and when you’re not at peace with yourself, it’s impossible to be at peace with others.

When a person is lacking peace, the effects of that lack of peace usually manifests itself in their relationships/friendships - making it very difficult for the individual who lacks peace to accept an individual who isn’t lacking peace - because the content individual forces the discontent individual to see their lack - which in most cases breeds envy on the discontent individuals behalf. If you’re not following what I’m saying thus far, then allow me to bring this point home with a quote from our girl Oprah.

“You can’t be friends with someone who wants your life. ”

— Oprah

The more I keep going to sleep and waking up, the more I realized how correct Oprah is and why her theory holds weight. I’m finding out that when pursuing friendships, it’s best to seek individuals who want at least some of the same things you want out of life. Of course you have those rare occasions where two people on totally different levels create a dope friendship. But true, equally yoked friendships usually happen with individuals who have the same core values and who truly know themselves and are comfortable with who they are (this doesn’t mean they will always agree, but they will definitely be on the same wavelength more times than not). And let me tell you this…..when you’re trying to build a friendship with people who don’t even know and love themselves, the ride will not be pleasant. YOU WILL FEEL DRAINED ALMOST EVERY TIME YOU’RE IN THEIR PRESENCE….and that’s not friendship ladies and gentlemen - that’s torture. Friendships, just like relationships, are mutual affinities. They may not always be 50/50, but they are definitely suppose to be beneficial to both parties.

Friendship is the highest, most solid relationship any two people can ever have. It’s the concrete foundation for whatever type of relationship will come after it (whether it’s business, romantic, sisterhood, brotherhood, etc.). So make sure you inspect your friendships thoroughly…because any cracks in the foundation will most definitely lead to major problems down the line.

“I picks my friends like I pick my fruit. ”

— Erykah Badu

P.S. - I’m in love with my new Veja sneakers that I’m sporting in my pics! They are made out of ecological and sustainable materials which helps me to fashionably reduce my carbon footprint…yay! My pants came from a summer sale at Zara and my crop top and army jacket came from a sale at Urban Outfitters. Cheers to bargains! LOL

The Observation Phase

I’m currently in an observation phase. A couple of weeks ago I got to a point where I felt like I had missed some spiritual signs and other good lessons because I’ve been too busy reacting and talking instead of watching and listening. So I decided to step back and just monitor my environment and the people in it. And so far, I’ve gathered some pretty enlightening and essential information.

I’ve been watching some things grow, watching a few situations evolve, watching some people interact, and watching some people reveal their true selves. And it’s amazing how much stuff you learn once you decide to close your mouth and open your eyes and ears. Before this observation phase, I used to think asking questions was one of the most effective ways for me to gather information….I was kind of right and kind of wrong. While asking questions does feed my curiosity, observation feeds my spirit. Let me explain.

Have you ever heard the quote, “Needing nothing attracts everything?” Well I’ve been shown that this quote can also be applied to the need to know things. Once I decided to give up the need to know who people really were and everything that was happening or going to happen, things were acutely revealed. This observation tactic ties into what I’ve been stressing on this blog over and over (and yes it’s still taking me some time to apply this tactic, but I’m on the right path)…..once we give up the need to control things, our inner God intervenes - and that’s when things begin to come together how they should. This observation phase is definitely helping me become more comfortable with my silence. It’s pushing me to exercise my faith muscles, and it’s giving me the mental rest I need. It’s also teaching me the profound art of waiting (which is what we will be doing most of our lives) and showing me that everything is revealed when it’s supposed to be revealed.

My grandmother used to say, “if you’re supposed to know something, you’ll find out.” Granny was definitely on point. Because mostly everything that I’ve needed to know thus far has found me without me having to seek it. This is why I wholeheartedly believe that what’s meant for a person won’t pass them…..especially if they are aware and have their ears, eyes, and heart open to receive it.

So zip up your lips for a second, open your ears/eyes/heart, grab your popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the show…..you’'ll get to the climax of the story sooner or later.

Enjoying this spiritual view,

- Samjah Iman

P.S. - Oh and during this observation phase, I’m also learning that being equally yoked not only applies to your romantic relationships….it also applies to your FRIENDSHIPS as well. Stay tuned ya’ll!!!

Outfit Details: Tie Dye Dress // Heels (sold out, similar here)

I'm Someone's Daughter Too....

The idea for this shirt came to me organically. I was having a conversation with a young man a while ago about his immature behavior. In order to make him deeply understand where I was coming from I said to him, “be the kind of man you’d want your daughter to date or be friends with.” He had no rebuttal.

That evening, I was venting to my mother about the behavior of some men and how I was sick of it. I then told her about my conversation, and I reiterated the fact that I wanted men to treat women like they would want someone to treat their daughters. My mother began co-signing my proclamation and in the middle of her praise, I interrupted her and said, “Ma, that should really be on a shirt.” And here we are…..

Although this shirt evolved from my experiences with some males. It actually speaks to both men and women. Check out what I’m talking about below.

Men – this movement has nothing to do with how you actually treat your daughter or how you will treat your future daughter. It has everything to do with how you want another man to treat her and you reciprocating that behavior when it comes to other girls/women. When you encounter a female, be mindful of the fact that your own daughter (or future daughter) will be navigating this world one day – plant some good seeds for her karma. 
~ Talk to us like you would want someone to talk to your daughter. 
~ Be considerate of our feelings like you wish for someone to be considerate of your daughter’s feelings. 
~ Don’t govern our bodies because you wouldn’t want another man governing your daughter’s body. 
~ Protect and stand up for us like you hope someone will do for your baby girl.

Keep in mind that every female you meet, deal with, have a friendship with, a relationship with, etc. is someone’s daughter. Treat her as such. 

Photo Credit: https://mandmphotographygallery.com/

Women – Show your fellow woman the same grace you would want another female showing your daughter. 
~ Don’t stare her up and down with negativity burning through your eyes. 
~ Don’t publicly support her then silently pray for her downfall. 
~ Lift her up with beautiful words and unending inspiration just like you would want someone to lift your little girl up. 
~ Don’t be nasty to her because her abilities make you feel insecure. 
~ Don’t hate when you see God’s favor shining through the fruits of her labor. 

The last thing you would want is for someone to do any of these things to your daughter….or even you – you’re somebody’s daughter too.

Photo Credit: https://mandmphotographygallery.com/

Self – Ladies, let’s love ourselves as if we are our own daughters. Let’s give ourselves the understanding, unconditional love, patience, grace, and forgiveness we would give our little girls. Let’s take care of ourselves and have mercy on ourselves, all while keeping in mind that we aren’t perfect - but as close to perfection as it will get.

We are divine energy personified. We are constantly evolving. We are walking, talking blessings. Let’s act accordingly.

This shirt is the beginning of a campaign - a campaign to hold ourselves and our men accountable. Join the campaign by purchasing your shirt here.

Photo Credit: https://mandmphotographygallery.com/

P.S. - There is a only a limited supply of these shirts for now. I wanted to introduce them to my subscribers first before I put them on social media. I hope you will consider spreading this message by purchasing a t-shirt….if not, it’s all good…..I’m still rocking with ya! xoxoxo

Oh and one more thing, check out my recent Essence Festival recap here! My email system did something crazy earlier this week and sent an old post out…oh well - s%^& happens!

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Essence Festival 2019 - THE GRIND!!!

New Orleans boasted its usual vibrant, hospitable aura as rambunctious men and women bombarded its bumpy roads and roamed every nook and cranny of its soul. Graphic t-shirts, off-the-shoulder frilly tops, innovative braided hair-dos, and tropical print shirts dominated the streets, sidewalks, and venues. Car horns blared because the city (and traffic) literally froze to witness this glorious, melanin-filled influx. Music was blasting, camera flashes were constantly erupting, and smiles were infectious and contagious as the weekend got underway. This, my friends, is what the 25th Essence Festival Weekend was all about. Hot music, swanky fashion, and beauty galore are just a few reason why this past Essence weekend was nothing short of SUCCESSFUL!!! And did I mention our Forever First Lady, Michelle Obama, was in the building…..AND that I had a front row seat to the Beauty Carnival (thanks to All Things Hair) where experts were on hand to give you tips, products, and foot massages?!? Yup, even the sweltering heat couldn’t keep me away this year. It was my duty (literally) and pleasure to be on the scene!

My Essence weekend was definitely an exciting grind. While I got the chance to experience impactful events and meet intriguing people, it was more strategic for me. My goal was to put myself in some beneficial spaces that would catapult my brand to the next level…..and that is just what I did.

Not only did I get the chance to be in the same city, building, and atmosphere as THE Michelle Obama, I also got the chance (on behalf of All Things Hair) to experience the ultimate celebration of black beauty at The Essence Beauty Carnival!

Since I was attending an elaborate beauty event, I wanted to make sure my hair and outfit were up-to-par. Check out the look and hairstyle I went with below.

Picture Credit: todphotography.com

Picture Credit: todphotography.com

Picture Credit: todphotography.com

When I stepped into the convention center, I was hit with a sea of eager people waiting to bust through the gates of this popular carnival. As soon as I made my way through the entrance, I totally understood their enthusiasm. It was like I walked into a black woman’s dream - a beauty heaven with products made just for our skin and hair!

I partnered with All Things Hair (an informative hair website that gives great insight for all hair types) and Unilever (the parent company of Suave, Shea Moisture, Dove, Love Beauty, Planet, and Tresemme) to capture the happenings at the Dove Beauty Station. Upon arriving at this station, I immediately felt as though I was at the spa. Everything from foot massages, hair stations, to must-have products were being offered at this station. Ladies were patiently waiting in what seemed like the longest line at the Beauty Carnival to experience the treats the Dove station had to offer.

I got the chance to chat with some of the women waiting in line about their experience with Unilever products. One lady couldn’t wait to get her hands on some Dove soap, stating that it never dries her skin out. Another lady was enthused about Suave conditioner because it left her curls feeling hydrated and full of body.

Another aspect of the Dove beauty station (and one of the best parts in my opinion) was the opportunity to sign the petition for the Hair Discrimination Law. This law prohibits any company from discriminating against an individual because of the choice of their hairstyle. The purpose of The CROWN ACT is to Create a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair. It addresses the discrimination and unfair grooming policies in schools and workplaces that directly impact black men, women, and children. The Crown Act has been passed in California and has passed the New York Senate and the Assembly. To read more about this act and to sign the petition, click here.

The Beauty Carnival and the overall Essence Festival 2019 experience was overwhelmingly incredible. For more on my experience at this event and to check out my interview on All Things Hair, click here.

Also, if you want to see some more of my Essence Festival style, some videos of the entire weekend/beauty carnival, and a segment of me getting ready for the Essence Beauty Carnival, visit my Instagram page and c!ick on the Essence highlights in my profile and check out my Essence Beauty Carnival x All Things Hair IGTV video!

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Kimono (Forever 21, sold out) // Someone’s Daughter T-shirt (coming soon!) // White Flared Pants (Swank Blue, sold out)

The post is sponsored by All Things Hair; however, all opinions are my own.

Releasing the Grip

Despite what the world says or what social media messages may drill in our minds, I’m learning that the most effective way to live life is by letting it be. Yes we have the power to manifest beautiful things in our lives, but we also need to learn the balance of controlling what we can and letting the rest flow however it’s meant to flow. Most of the stress we create in our lives comes from trying to control a situation. If you take a second and think about a stressful issue occurring right now in your life, you will probably discover that you’re adding more stress to the situation by constantly trying to control it, or figure out how to make it better, or how to stop it. And what you really need to do is release your grip, and let it go (I’m preaching to me on this one).

For the past few years I’ve been enduring a tough but much needed lesson on learning how to take my hands off certain situations and letting them be. I’m always trying to figure out how I can speed the process up, help the process out, or get rid of the process all together. I’m constantly thinking that maybe I’m not doing enough, or maybe I should have said this, or maybe I just need to add a little more of that to make it better. When in actuality, all I’m doing is interfering with the natural/spiritual process that is taking part on my behalf. It seems when I’m constantly trying to make something work, it moves further away from me. But when I release it, it works out how it’s supposed to work out when I least expect it.

The other day while going back and forth in my head over an issue, I was reminded of some simple yet sound advice my father gave me years ago that can be applied to any situation. Back then I was battling some acne issues which made me obsessed with every product that claimed to rid my face of the hideous critters. I would walk around the house every night with about 20 creams on my face then follow those up with some new mask. I did this religiously for about two weeks but nothing seemed to help. One night, with a white mask caked on my face, I walked into the kitchen - passing my father up in the living room - to get a snack. My father, whom I’m assuming was tickled at the sight of his daughter resembling a mime, took one look at my face and smirked. Just as I was about to head back to my domain, he stopped me and said, “you know the bumps will eventually go away if you just leave them alone and stop focusing on them.” In typical teenage fashion, I rolled my eyes and continued on the journey to my room to sulk. But his words sat with me. The next day, I didn’t use any of the masks or creams I accumulated, nor did I use them the day after that, or the day after that. I just did the simple tasks of washing, toning, and moisturizing. I also made it my business not to stare at the bumps in the mirror every chance I got, and just like daddy said - they eventually went away.

I’m not telling you guys to give up on your endeavors. I’m simply saying declare what you want, control the part you can control, then release your grip and watch life work its magic. By doing so you allow all the bumps to work themselves out, and eventually things will change. And what's for you, will come to you.

Releasing the Grip,

- Samjah Iman

P.S. - I don’t have any outfit details on this look because I purchased it from a garage sale!! Sweet huh?! But what I do have is some info on a cool event happening during Essence Festival! The one practice that has been keeping my stress levels low, teaching me meditation, discipline, and the art of being still is yoga. And this year my yoga community (Magnolia Yoga Studio - Nola’s 1st black owned yoga studio) is kicking off Essence Fest weekend with a super cool yoga event! See below!

For more information on tickets, visit their website.

Oh and a couple days after the yoga event, come see your girl on the panel at Brunch for the Soul. I’ll be there stuffing my face and speaking from my spirit! Details below!

Purchase tickets, here.

See some of ya’ll at Essence 2019!

Leveling Up is Expensive

I remember when I was presented as a debutante during my senior year of high school. The theme my mother came up with for my tea was “Ending to Begin Again.” Preparing for my debut, my mother and I sat and stuffed each invitation to my soirée in its proper envelope. Every time I picked up an invitation, I read the bold theme written above my picture….Ending to Begin Again, Ending to Begin Again. The theme kind of confused me because in my head graduating high school was a big thing, and now that I was close to accomplishing it - I figured the rest of my life as an adult would be a breeze. In an attempt to undo my confusion, I asked my mother what her motive was behind that theme. My mother - eager to take advantage of a teachable moment - grinned, looked me dead in my face, and said……“you’re conquering one milestone only to start another, hun.”

Since then, I’ve been continuously learning that the more I accomplish, the more I have to do. There is really no ceiling to life if you want the most out of it. I often hear people saying how easier and more enjoyable life will be if they could just get the job they want, the perfect mate, the cozy house, the luxurious car, more customers, etc. And these things may definitely enhance your life, but with all of those things come more work. Just got that degree you’ve been working hard for? Congrats! But now you have to put it to work. Loving that new house you’re in? Cool! But don’t forget to get it sprayed for bugs, mow the lawn, change the smoke detectors, and pay the taxes. New boo, huh? Lovely! It’s now time to learn how to communicate effectively with that person, learn how to share your space, and come up with a flow that benefits the both of you.

Conquering goals motivates us to strive hard each and everyday. But keep in mind that going to the next level is expensive. It requires more energy, more wisdom, more time, more spiritual alignment, etc. Don’t get caught up in the notion that once you’ve accomplished a certain goal, it’s smooth sailing for the rest of the ride. In The Path Made Clear by Oprah Winfrey, she discusses how even after 25 years on her popular television show, success still didn’t come easy - in fact, it became more challenging. When referencing a commencement speech she was invited to make at Harvard University (which totally intimidated her), Oprah wrote, “it seemed, the higher I hiked, the trickier the terrain.” Take it from our Auntie O, if you desire to continuously move up in life, you have to pay the cost that comes with it.

To sum up this post, think about the bible verse that says, “to whom much is given, much is required.” And if you’re a spiritual gangsta, take into consideration this truism from the great, late Notorious BIG - “Mo money, Mo Problems.”

Continue to level up, but always be mindful of the simple fact that you’re always Ending to Begin Again.

Paying the cost,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Lace Top (tobi.com, sold out) // Shorts (Wrangler jeans I cut up from Wal-Mart) // Pink Blazer (borrowed it from my girl while I was shooting lol) // Nude Heels

Self-care Isn't Always Fun

Self-care is a big topic these days, and rightfully so. Almost every other magazine, blog, and social media post focuses on the crucial subject. I’ve joined in on the hoopla as well. I’ve given out suggestions on how to feed your soul , put yourself first, and all that cute crap. It wasn’t until the other day during one of my mother/daughter venting sessions when I zeroed in on the fact that self-care isn’t always fun.

When most think of self-care their brain automatically goes to hour long massages, picture-worthy beach vacations, Blue Bell cookies and cream ice-cream while deep couch sitting, pedicures with a side of Pinot Noir, alone time, a page-turner book, exercising, etc. However, that’s just one side of the self-care movement. There’s another side - a side that isn’t so pretty…..a side that forces you to make gut wrenching decisions that look bizarre to others in the present time, but benefits you wholeheartedly in the future. The type of self-care I’m referring to forces you to say enough is enough, even when your heart wants to hand out 50 more chances. The self-care I’m talking about sometimes ignores what the body is saying and chooses to be alone for a while so that healing and spiritual realignment can properly take place.

I remember listening to Lauryn Hill’s song When It Hurts So Bad off her debut album for the first time at 16 years old. I would play the song over and over attempting to wrap my mind around why Lauryn thought that something which hurt so bad felt so good. Then in my 20s, I played the song repeatedly and concluded that she must be talking about something going wrong in a relationship and being torn between two lovers…..”what you want might make you cry, and what you need might pass you by…..if you don’t catch it.'“ One of the many things I dig about art is that it evokes different emotions and different interpretations from every consumer. That’s the sole purpose of it. I also like that if you keep coming back to the same art (music, writings, paintings, etc.), it will mean different things to you at different times in your life. I played Lauryn’s song the other night for the first time in a minute. I listened intently to the words….and I had my “aha” moment. At this time in my life, I believe Lauryn’s song speaks directly to self-care. Her lyrics, “when it hurts so bad, why does it feel so good” , in my opinion depict tough decisions you have to make that sting like hell momentarily, but are ultimately good for you in the long run. This message not only applies to romantic relationships, it applies to all relationships whether it be friendships or business relationships.. It can also be applied to life decisions, health decisions, money decisions, etc. Sometimes you have to be willing to miss out on some things, be the only one standing up for some things, say no to a lot of popular things, and walk away from some exciting things in order to take care of yourself. Sometimes you have to endure the pain now, so that it won’t hurt later. Self-care isn’t always fun. Sometimes it comes with a hefty price tag. But what I’ve learned over time and what I’m still learning is to pay it up front, and reap the investment later. There are a lot of people walking around this earth who didn’t pay the price in the beginning, and the result? Well, they’re bankrupt now.

Paying it upfront,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: White Top