You and Your Friends Should Be Equally Yoked, Too...
My mother once told me that I’d be blessed to have maybe a few real friends in this lifetime. She would say to me quite often, “Sam, everyone isn’t your friend.” Of course then, I thought she was tripping. Because during the time she presented me with that information, I was befriending people I shouldn’t have due to my free heart and humanitarian spirit. After playing Miss Overtly Nice Girl for waaaayyyy too long, I finally came to the conclusion that everyone isn’t meant to ride on this journey with me as a friend. Yes I would still be my nice, cordial self - but befriending individuals who were not on the same spiritual path as I was had to come to an end. After hanging with those fair-weather people who literally depleted my energy, I learned that not only does being equally yoked apply to romantic relationships, it applies to platonic friendships as well.
The word friend holds a lot of weight, and I truly believe it flies out of some people’s mouths too easily. Friends are not just someone you kick it with here and there. Friends are people who evolve with you, who you feel connected to spiritually, and who you can relate to soulfully. To be a true friend and to find a true friend is challenging, because the majority of people in this world are not at peace with themselves - and when you’re not at peace with yourself, it’s impossible to be at peace with others.
When a person is lacking peace, the effects of that lack of peace usually manifests itself in their relationships/friendships - making it very difficult for the individual who lacks peace to accept an individual who isn’t lacking peace - because the content individual forces the discontent individual to see their lack - which in most cases breeds envy on the discontent individuals behalf. If you’re not following what I’m saying thus far, then allow me to bring this point home with a quote from our girl Oprah.
“You can’t be friends with someone who wants your life. ”
The more I keep going to sleep and waking up, the more I realized how correct Oprah is and why her theory holds weight. I’m finding out that when pursuing friendships, it’s best to seek individuals who want at least some of the same things you want out of life. Of course you have those rare occasions where two people on totally different levels create a dope friendship. But true, equally yoked friendships usually happen with individuals who have the same core values and who truly know themselves and are comfortable with who they are (this doesn’t mean they will always agree, but they will definitely be on the same wavelength more times than not). And let me tell you this…..when you’re trying to build a friendship with people who don’t even know and love themselves, the ride will not be pleasant. YOU WILL FEEL DRAINED ALMOST EVERY TIME YOU’RE IN THEIR PRESENCE….and that’s not friendship ladies and gentlemen - that’s torture. Friendships, just like relationships, are mutual affinities. They may not always be 50/50, but they are definitely suppose to be beneficial to both parties.
Friendship is the highest, most solid relationship any two people can ever have. It’s the concrete foundation for whatever type of relationship will come after it (whether it’s business, romantic, sisterhood, brotherhood, etc.). So make sure you inspect your friendships thoroughly…because any cracks in the foundation will most definitely lead to major problems down the line.
“I picks my friends like I pick my fruit. ”
P.S. - I’m in love with my new Veja sneakers that I’m sporting in my pics! They are made out of ecological and sustainable materials which helps me to fashionably reduce my carbon footprint…yay! My pants came from a summer sale at Zara and my crop top and army jacket came from a sale at Urban Outfitters. Cheers to bargains! LOL