I Quit Part 3 - The Update

Whew child! It’s been one heck of a roller coaster ride these last two years. This journey has been filled with all kinds of twists and turns. It’s been up one month and down the next. It’s been promising in the morning and dreadful in the afternoon. I’ve threatened to pull my hair out on one day and cried tears of joy on the next. My money, emotions, and stress levels have all been as unstable as the stock market. But throughout this entire journey, I held on to what I knew to be true which is - change is always inevitable. I would tell myself each and everyday that if I just stayed the course, something would shake. And it did. I just had to go through it, to get to it.

Most of you know I quit my job of eight years in 2017. I didn’t plan on quitting that year, but certain circumstances and my spirit pushed me to do so. I left the job with some money saved up, my rising brand, and a part-time position with an online magazine already in my back pocket. About a year after leaving that job, two of those things slowly evaporated lol. Rent was eating my savings up, and the magazine I was working part-time for ended up loosing its Instagram account (which generated a lot of advertising revenue) and as a result, my pay vanished - and then I eventually vanished….from that job. In the midst of all that, I manifested another fashion gig and when it came to pass, I just knew it was ideal. The pay was good and the work was right up my alley…..or so I thought. Months later I would discover that this magazine wanted me to not just be the editor of one section, but they wanted me to build the entire magazine! And then after a few months of giving me a hefty salary to do so, they came to the conclusion that they couldn’t afford me anymore. How crazy is that?! After months of trying to make things work, I got word that a prominent attorney needed a content creator/social media writer. Something in my spirit prompted me to be assertive and contact the headhunter who had the details on this position so I obeyed. After about two weeks, I was in there!

Two years and a whole lot of hustling later, I’m finally getting a steady grip on things. Last week I talked about doing nothing and being still in times of confusion and impatience, and let me say this - it worked and it’s still working. Two great opportunities fell out of the sky this week, and I truly feel that there’s more where those came from.

My journey to entrepreneurship does not look how I thought it would, and that’s totally fine with me. The best thing about this journey is that it’s mine. It’s specifically tailored for my story, and it’s not supposed to fit anyone else’s. I’ve learned so many valuable lessons from this journey. I’ve learned how to manage my money better (Lawd this lesson was hard), I’ve become more in-tuned with my spirit and more confident in following its lead, and the biggest lesson I’ve learned through all of this is to simply just hang in there. If you keep going, change will come. I got knocked down several times during this journey and will probably get knocked down again. But what I do have is time…..and as long as the clock is still ticking, I have nothing better or more beneficial to do than to stay in the ring and keep rolling with the punches. Eventually, I’ll win the fight.

To be continued…..

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Polka Dot Off-the-shoulder Top (old, Forever 21) // Stripe Skirt (old, Forever 21) // Heels

The Best Thing You Can Do Is....Nothing

I’m stagnant at the moment in regards to my ambitions and goals. I’m not failing, but I feel like I’m not progressing either - or at least I can’t see it. I’ve planted over 100 seeds in the ground, and it seems not one of them has yet to even peep through the dirt. Prior to writing this blog post, each and everyday I would think of something I could do to get some momentum going; however, nothing worked. Everything seemed contrived.

I went to a hot yoga class last week to relieve some stress, and it seemed to have been the hardest yoga class I had experienced all year. In between poses, almost the entire class was huffing, puffing, and fidgeting - attempting to persevere. The instructor noticed our restless exhaustion and said, “the best thing you can do in between poses is nothing….conserve your energy.” Her words got the wheels in my head turning. I began to analyze and compare my current yoga circumstance to what was going on in my life. The hard yoga poses were similar to the goals I’m trying to reach. The moments in between the poses symbolized the times when nothing is happening which makes me anxious to get to the next pose or the next step in life because the waiting process is agonizing. But (as the teacher put it) in doing nothing during that process I allow myself the time to just exist in the moment, as well as prepare myself mentally and physically for the next pose - or for what’s to come in life.

After making it through that yoga class and allowing the teacher’s words to sit in my spirit, I came to the conclusion that the best action for my current state is no action at all. It takes a great deal of faith (that I sometimes lack) to take my hands off everything and just be. I told myself that if I really trust what I’ve manifested, did my part, and believed that it will come to pass - then I should have no problem embracing this current intermission. Now is the time for me to sit back and let my angels work while I rest more, research more, be lazy, enjoy Sunday mornings, people watch, polish my nails while jamming to Leikeli47, take long baths surrounded by candles, catch up on some documentaries, sit in silence, etc. Because if I haven’t learned anything else about life, I’ve definitely learned that change is inevitable…nothing stays the same. And I’ve also learned that if you try to force things to happen, you interfere with life’s beautiful process which results in even more setbacks.

When you get the chance to restore and revitalize, take advantage of it - because before you know it…the yogi will be saying, “next pose!”

Being still,

- Samjah Iman

P.S. - This slip dress was given to me by my mother….she’s had it since the 90’s.

Sustaining the planet one recycled garment at a time.

I Choose Me

“But if I have to choose between, I choose me.”

— Erykah Badu

I’m fed up. I’ve come to the strong realization in the past few months that the people-pleasing roll isn’t good for my existence. I know what some of ya’ll are thinking, “Sam, you people-please?” Yes…I am human and have the tendency to do erratic crap from time to time. Like sometimes I drag myself to mundane, overrated events so that people will see how much of a staunch supporter I am, and that not only do I smile big and wear swanky clothes at times - but I also keep my word. I sit across from annoying humans while sipping cocktails just to prove my genuineness, when I’m really daydreaming of being anywhere else in the universe but with them. And usually when I leave these regrettable events or meetings, I find myself depleted, frustrated, and sometimes usually out of some money I could have spent on my damn self. But on the flip side, it seems that most of the people I deal with have no issue with not keeping their word, changing things up to accommodate their needs, or making sure to not inconvenience themselves at all costs. And guess what, I’m not mad at them at all. As a matter of fact, I’m going to join them on their self-crusade. No I’m not going to change my character just to be spiteful. I’m simply going to put myself and my needs first when appropriate…which in turn will make me a better Sam.

I’ve been feeling like this for a minute, and apparently at one point in her life, my girl Oprah felt the same way (I knew we were kin). I was reading one of her books, What I Know For Sure, and a passage she wrote really resonated with me and drove the sentiment I had been dealing with home. See the excerpt below.

As soon as I read her words, I threw the book across the bed in agreement. Oprah knows my soul! There have been 7 million times in my life when I’ve done plenty of things, gone to many places, and answered tons of phone calls out of wanting to show people how loyal, nice, and reliable I am - not because I felt it in my spirit. NO MORE! If people don’t know my true character by now, bless them (and I’m substituting the word bless for another derogatory term). From here on out, my priority is ME. I know what things make my soul smile, and I plan on doing more of them. Time is currency, and my goal is to be frugal with mine and spend it wisely. Yes I will have to do some things that I really don’t want to do but need to do….that’s life. But the things that I have a choice in, I will choose…and I will choose me.

The Chosen One,

- Samjah Iman

Fear Won't Govern My Life

This past week I had a minor scare at my home. I love natural light, and I spring up each morning looking forward to opening my curtains, allowing the sunlight to occupy my living area. Well on one particular day, a deranged looking, Peeping Tom walked by and decided to stop and press his head against my window to get a closer look at the happenings in the Queendom. After discovering me staring right back him, he quickly walked off; seemingly embarrassed. But not too embarrass to return and do it again…..and again! When I saw him lingering in front of my window for the third time, I quickly sounded my alarm to scare him. I then called my parents to let them know the deal. My father instructed me to close the curtains, cock my gun, and send the signal when I’m ready for him to come my way. For the next few days after that I was kind of spooked. I was on high alert. I could already picture myself going to war to defend my territory and ending up on the 5 o’clock news (my mind does the absolute most at times). The fear of what could possibly happen began to paralyze me. I didn’t want to linger outside too long, and I was hesitant about opening my curtains - afraid of what would be lurking on the other side of the window.

My father called to check on me each day and when he did, I told him that I was okay but I didn’t want to open my curtains or be outside too long which was unfortunate because I absolutely loved my neighborhood. Before I could finish going on and on about how startled I still was, he stop me dead in the middle of my sentence and said, “naw Sam….that’s what you don’t need to do. Don’t give into fear or allow your life or routine to be interrupted because of this….live normally.” As soon as he said those words I felt the gangsta in me permeate my pores. I stood up from my couch with confidence and said, “You’re right Daddy! I’m not about to let my fear, this incident, or any other traumatizing situation that has happened in my life, cripple me. I will go about life normally and be prepared for whatever comes my way.” From then on, I relaxed. Yes I’m still acutely aware of my surroundings, the gun is still loaded, the police are on speed dial, and I don’t open my curtains as wide as I did before (small steps), but I’m carrying on with my regular day to day activities like I ordinarily would. I step outside daily with a calmness as if a ruthless army walks before me (and it does….my ancestors are a beast!). It seems as soon as I made the decision to face my fear head on….something incredible happened - my fear vanished. And ya’ll, I did all that stressing and haven’t seen that man since lol.

I thought about how many times I’ve rearranged my routine or life in the past to avoid something or because I feared the outcome. Not anymore. What I’m constantly learning is that most of the fears I’ve conjured up in my head haven’t and probably won’t come to pass.

“Whatever you fear the most has no power - it is the fear that has the power. ”

— Oprah

I remember my mother once saying to me, “When you’re not afraid to fail, it frees you.”, she was on point with that one. Because all fear does is immobilizes us and keeps us from living the fullest life we can possibly live.

Whatever fear is holding you back from doing whatever it is you need to do, face it. Square up with that fear, show your gangsta, and don’t let it have dominion over your life - and in most cases, you’ll find that you’re way more powerful than any fear you’ve ever had.

Picture Credit: Jay Marie Visuals

Outfit Details: Top // Pants (old) // Heels (old similar pair, here)

10 Ways to Feed Your Soul

A lot has transpired in the world over the past couple of weeks. Rapper/Community Advocate Nipsey Hussle was gunned down in his neighborhood which left our culture and the Hip Hop world in complete disarray. There’s a lot to be said about his demise, the impact/legacy his life will have on our society and Hip Hop going forward, and how we can play our part in this paradigm shift - but right now we desperately need to fill up on some SOUL FOOD. There are so many things sucking the life out of us at this moment. News reports, social media posts, and a whole lot of chatter has us going in various directions mentally. We all need to take a step back and fill up.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about feeding yourself constantly. With all that’s going on and all there is to come, I want to hone in on that topic and share some things that I believe are good TO and FOR your soul. I’m sure a lot of you may do some (if not all) of these things already. - you just probably don’t refer to it as “feeding your soul.” But anything that feels good to you and doesn’t hurt you or anyone in the process is feeding your soul. Get into my tips below.

Laugh and hold a good conversation with a loved one - There’s nothing like kicking your feet up and reminiscing with a friend about the crazy things you guys used to do in the past, or sharing your dreams with a person who has your best interest at heart, or laughing until your stomach hurts with a family member. Moments like these reboot your love meter and give you the release you so desperately need every now and then.

Read or listen to some inspiring words - You don’t have to open a book to read some inspiring words (although I recommend you do). Now days you can google a certain motivational topic or click on your YouTube app to hear some inspiring words. This has everything to do with monitoring what you monitor. You have to watch what you are letting seep into your psyche. The more you ingest empowering information, the more soulFULL you will be.

Give out flowers - No you don’t have to go to the plant store to do this one. I’m referring to speaking words of beauty to your loved ones or strangers. If you feel someone is doing a good job, let them know you’re proud. You think that guy has on some cool shoes? Tell him! You like her hair? Compliment her! The world can be so harsh, and your words and gestures can help heal it. Giving out flowers metaphorically is gratifying and therapeutic. Putting beautiful phrases and words in the atmosphere creates some good energy which eventually comes back to you.

Look for the good in every situation - The Kirk Franklin song, Blessing in the Storm has a whole lot of truth to it. When you’re looking for the good and the blessing in every situation, you’ll find it. Sometimes the blessing is harder to find than other times, but it’s there. When you operate with this type of mentality, burdens won’t look the same as they did before - and as a result, your soul will eventually become lighter and lighter.

Breathe - In yoga class, the teacher always tells us to rely on our breath. When the poses become challenging, breathing helps us through them. This applies to life as well. Taking a second to breathe deeply throughout your day is calming and rejuvenating which puts you at ease; therefore, benefiting your soul. `

Eat a good meal AND some dessert - Don’t go overboard with food, but don’t deprive yourself either. Have a good meal and some dessert every now and then. We are often eating on the go and trying to fit a crappy meal in wherever we can. Every once in a while sit down and truly enjoy a full course meal. Then get under your comfortable blanket, turn on your favorite TV show, and savor that piece of chocolate cake. Life is short, treat yourself here and there - your soul definitely smiles when you do.

Watch a movie that makes you feel good - No horror movies or mind boggling dramas….watch a movie that makes you tingle inside like Love Jones or that makes you fall out on the floor laughing like Bad Boys (yup, I’m stuck in the 90’s). It doesn’t matter if you’ve seen it 100 times already…souls love familiarity.

Jam out to some good music - Listen, a good Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, or Goodie Mob song will have me going to church! And don’t let some Frankie Beverly and Maze come on then I’m two-stepping all over my kitchen floor! You know that feeling you get when your jam comes on, and something compels you to close your eyes, tilt your head back, and let out a joyous groan? Yup, that’s your soul saying you’ve hit the spot! Whether it’s discovering new music or listening to that old faithful tune that you know pulls on your heart strings - you need it. Music gets us through hard times, helps us to celebrate happy times, and gives us hope for better days to come.

Connect with nature - There’s nothing like rocking in an antique chair on a relic porch. There’s something spiritual and invigorating about it. Currently I don’t have a porch, so the other day I sat outside on the steps of a building for 10 minutes. I let the sun cover my face as I smiled at people strolling by. When I got up from the steps to go to my next destination, I felt satisfied. Being out in nature refreshes your soul. Connecting with the natural elements puts you in a better mood and soothes your mind. You don’t have to spend hours outside, just take a brief walk or sit outside for a second when the weather permits. You’ll surely reap the benefits.

Give/Help someone - I once read a quote from Janelle Monáe that resonated with me. She said, “I’m a believer that the more I am giving, the happier I am, and the more beautiful my exterior will be.” Janelle ain’t lying ya’ll! Giving is medicine for the soul. It’s healing. To see someone’s face light up when you do an unexpected, good deed is an incredibly unmatched feeling. When you give, you’re not only benefiting that person or organization that you’re helping - you’re benefiting yourself as well.

When we feed our souls, the world and everyone around us will benefit. Stay soulFULL my people.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Photo Credit: keithshoots.com

You've Got to Fill Up Constantly

Listen…..I cannot afford to miss any meals on any day. And if I do miss a meal I get grouchy, I get a headache, I get weak, and even light-headed. I am not the type that can eat one time a day and be content. I need breakfast in the morning, a snack after that, lunch, another snack, then another snack, dinner, and another snack. I don’t play when it comes to feeding my body because the consequences are too much to bear when I don’t do it. And it’s the same when it comes to feeding my soul and mind.

The other day my mother and I were talking about a situation that caused her to go all the way off. When she came back to her usual, collected self she said, “See….that’s why we need to be fed positivity constantly. We just can’t feed our spirit on Monday and expect it to fill us up for the entire week. We’ve got to continuously feed our spirits.” I started amen-ing and clapping like I was on the front pew in the church house. Because if I don’t know about anything else, I know about feeding myself constantly. And whether it be food or spiritual motivation, I need it around the clock. Because just like I suffer the consequences and have mood swings when I’m physically hungry, the same thing happens when I’m spiritually and mentally hungry.

When I go a long time without eating, I’m more tempted to eat junk food or anything in sight just to quiet my growling stomach…..the same thing goes when I’m spiritually and mentally starving. If I’m not feeding my mind and spirit healthy content or inspiring art on a regular basis, my mind and spirit become more susceptible to negativity which in turn produces an unhealthy environment internally.

There are so many positive messages and videos plastered all over the internet and social media. I absolutely love this…..but what’s missing are the messages that tell people they need to ingest these positive/spiritual materials habitually. You can’t listen to a motivational video one day and expect it to get your mind right for the next three months. That’s like filling a car up with gas one time and expecting it to never need gas again! You have to fill your tank up on a consistent basis so that you are motivated to keep going, so that these positive messages become a way of life for you, and so that they can also act as a purgative that will prevent toxic messages from lingering in your mind and spirit too long. I’ve definitely been guilty of watching a spiritual video or reading a motivational book then reverting back to my old way of thinking as soon as life threw me a curve ball. That’s when I learned that feeding my soul and mind could absolutely not be a sporadic thing. I have to feed those aspects of myself the same way I feed my stomach….constantly.

Look ya’ll….life doesn’t let up, so we shouldn’t either. There’s more than likely a new chip waiting for the perfect moment to perch itself comfortably on your shoulder very soon. So make sure you take the time to pull over today and fill up on some motivation. Don’t wait until your tank is on E….at least keep it half full.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Top (old, H&M) // Flared Jeans // Sunglasses (sold out, similar here)

Acknowledge Each Stroke

Let me tell ya’ll….hustling and chasing these goals and ambitions can be IRRITATING!!! I got frustrated the other day because the work has been wearing me out (and because of this daylight saving time mess)! It’s like I’ve been in this intense grind for a minute, doing everything in my power to make things happen, and the big picture still hasn’t come together. Yes I understand that seeds take time to grow, and everything happens in due time, and blah, blah, blah. But that doesn’t stop me from tripping out from time to time…..hey, I’m human.

To deal with this feeling, I decided to open up one of my notebooks that holds my scribble scrabbles, notes, and ambitions. I flipped through the pages desperately seeking inspiration and in the process, I stumbled upon a list I wrote last year entitled 2018 Business Goals. I went down the list out of curiosity and came to a halt when I got to number 14.

Sometime in 2018, I wrote (among other goals) that I wanted to participate on panels at blogger workshops and conferences. When I read that goal, I smiled. I thought about that since writing that particular goal down, I’ve been invited to participate on three panels and have one more scheduled at the end of the month. If I had any doubt prior to opening up that notebook, it vanished soon after.

I wanted to post this on my blog not only for myself, but for you guys too. The first point I want to make is - writing stuff down and manifesting is real. I cannot stress that enough. I didn’t reach out to any brand to be on any panels. I just put the work in on my brand, and obviously the right people were watching. I forgot I had even written this particular goal on paper until I decided to open up my notebook out of frustration - now fast forward to 2019, and I’m doing what I wrote down in that notebook. It may not look exactly how I pictured it…but nevertheless, it came to pass.

“Write it down on real paper with a real pencil. And watch shit get real. ”

— Erykah Badu

The second point I want to make is - stop focusing on the big picture so much and praise yourself for the small steps you have conquered. Because I’m not where I want to be, my work began to feel in vain. But after opening that notebook and seeing that I accomplished a small part of the plan that I set out to conquer, I suddenly felt like all of my hustling is worth it.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

— Chinese Proverb

Think of your life as a picture you are about to paint. You set the blank canvas on the easel, do one stroke, look at the picture, then get frustrated because it’s not all there. It doesn’t make a lick of sense to get frustrated since you’ve only done one stroke, right? Exactly! But this is how we act when it comes to our goals! We do a few strokes (or hustles) and get mad when the picture doesn’t look complete (guilty as charged!)…..but if we take a moment to acknowledge that one stroke we just made and understand that it is a crucial component to the complete picture we are trying to paint - we will view it and celebrate it differently.

I have to remind myself constantly that in order to create the big picture, I have to do the small strokes. And without those small strokes, there will be no big picture.

Let’s concentrate on getting that one stroke right today, then hitting that other stroke tomorrow, then the other one the day after that. Then one day we will look up and the big picture will be staring us right in the face.

 Stroking,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Shorts Jumpsuit // Nikes

It's about the Lessons

I recently sat on a self-esteem panel for an organization called Sisters in Power. When it was my turn to answer a question from the audience I was asked, “if you could go back and start your life over again, what would you change and why?” Before I answered the question, I sat there on the panel fidgeting with the mic while contemplating my honest answer. Everything from failed relationships to student loans came rushing to mind, and for a split second I could understand why some would absolutely choose a do over. But then I thought about how the only way I know the bulk of what I know about life today is through trial and error, and if I did choose to go back and do it differently, I would still make mistakes. So I put the mic close to my mouth and proudly spoke these words to the audience, “If I could go back, I would not change anything.” It’s not about what you’ve endured and the mistakes you’ve made, it’s about the lessons.

There was a time I would be highly upset when things didn’t go as I had plan. I would regret the situation and pout about the outcome. Then I got some sense. I realized that every situation I encountered shaped me into the person I am today. Without the choices I’ve made in the past, I don’t know where I would be or even who I would be for that matter. Every ignorant thing I’ve ever said, the hot pot I touched, the too small shoes I purchased, every right or wrong turn I’ve ever taken, the relationship that didn’t work out, and every person I’ve ever met has all taught me valuable lessons.

Now days when I encounter challenging situations, I have a totally different attitude. I don’t wallow in the fact that something didn’t go my way or that something ended. I take my time to feel what I need to feel about the situation, then ask myself, “what did you learn, and what are you going to do about it?”

Every situation, every choice, and everything you did or didn’t do and did or didn’t receive has afforded you some knowledge. The next time you experience a tough situation (or even a good one), instead of frantically stressing over the results, ask yourself, “what did I learn from this, and what am I going to do with the lesson?”

Remember, life is the most impactful classroom we will ever step in.

“You live, you learn.”

— Alanis Morissette

Thank you Sisters in Power for inviting me to be on the panel! I was so honored to share the stage with some extremely astute, talented, and fun individuals - including one of my favorite rappers - Mia X!!

Left to right: Dee Rouzan, Denisa, Me, Mia X, Reg Rob, Dr. Bristol, Cierra Johnson

Check out some highlights from the panel here! And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram to check out my style choices and day to day situations!! Til next time!

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Shaggy Cardigan (sold out, similar here) // Vintage Jeans // Yellow Pumps

No Expectations Part 2

I got a few emails and messages regarding my Living Without Expectations post. It seems a few of my readers didn’t understand how one could not live without placing expectations on people and situations. Some thought it was absurd, others wrote that it was impossible. I get it. I once thought like that as well until I was blessed with insight. So for the sake of doing a good deed and paying the blessings I received forward, I’m going to try and explain this “no expectations” thing in another way for the folks that were looking at my post sideways.

For the women who messaged me and said they will never put up with their husband/boyfriend not coming home….#1. That was an example my friend gave me regarding his lack of expectations, and #2. Guess what? You don’t have to put up with any behavior that doesn’t sit well with you! Having no expectations doesn’t mean you have to take whatever. It simply means you will allow life to happen, and you will allow people to live in their truths. And if a situation or a person’s truth doesn’t align with your spirit…then you adjust accordingly. For example…say you go to a new restaurant and choose to try a new dish. You order this new dish, and you have no idea what it will taste like. You don’t expect it to be good nor do you expect the opposite. You just wait to see what will happen when you take that first bite. After a glass of wine, a half-eaten appetizer, and a convo with your friend about what you saw on social media, your dish is finally delivered to your table. You throw your napkin over your lap in anticipation of this new taste, and as soon as you take your first bite, you discover it tastes like dirt. So because you didn’t have any expectations on this dish, should you sit there and continue to eat it? NO! You can politely send the dish back where it came from. It’s the same with people. When you meet a person and get to know them without placing expectations on them - you give them the opportunity to reveal their true selves. And if their true self doesn’t align with your spirit….you don’t have to deal with them. You can politely send them back where they came from.

Now someone else hit me up about not having expectations when it comes to your goals. I’ll put it like this….I have a few goals that I aim to achieve. I have a plan to help me conquer these goals. However, I AM NOT MARRIED TO THE GOALS OR THE PLANS I HAVE. Look at it from this viewpoint…..say you have plans to go straight to the mall today once you’re done with your chores at home. On your way to the mall, a light comes on in your car indicating a low tire. So you pull over to put air in it. And while you’re doing that, your relative calls and asks you to stop by the grocery store for them. You agree. You then get in the car to head towards the mall and forget you left your wallet at home. You turn around to go back to get it and end up getting stuck in traffic. You eventually get your wallet, go to the store for your relative, and while at the store for your relative, you see another store that has what you were going to the mall to get and then some. Yes you ended up getting what you needed, but the journey didn’t look exactly how you EXPECTED it to look.

In the past I’ve mapped out several goals in my life, and my trajectory to each of those goals looked NOTHING like I thought it would. I’ve also set out to achieve a goal and while pursuing that goal, I discovered another goal that was more suitable which prompted me to drop the initial goal. Do you know how many people are depressed or have given up in life because their situation didn’t turn out how they EXPECTED it to or how they planned? Living without expectations allows you to be open to whatever comes your way….and when a situation doesn’t unfold in your favor you can keep it moving because your faith lies not in the outcome, but in the process.

Having no expectations doesn’t mean you live wildly while letting everyone disrespect you. It simply means you are open, and you allow the people in your life to live in their truth, which ultimately leads to you living in yours.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Vintage Blazer // Vintage Houndstooth Skirt (passed down from Aunts)// Booties // Belt (old, H&M)

Photo Credit: Jenae Mariee

Just Be

A friend and I have been having several intense conversations on the art of just being.  Through our talks, we’ve come to the celebrated conclusion that we really don’t have to do too much….life will take care of itself. 

Now don’t get it twisted - this type of “just being” doesn’t mean to sit and do absolutely nothing.  The type of “just being” we were discussing means living in your truth, trusting that the space you’re in is where you are supposed to be at the moment, and believing that what is meant will be. 

Whether it’s relationships/friendships, careers, hustles, goals, etc. – all you have to do is control what you can control and let the rest unfold.  To support this “just being” theory, my friend and I thought back to the times when we had to force certain feelings, when we jumped the gun and took matters (that were clearly out of our control) into our own hands, how we pushed ourselves to grow weary of situations prematurely instead of waiting for our true feelings to surface which in turn aborted a valuable lesson that needed to be learn, and how we jumped through hundreds of hoops to make situations change instead of being still and waiting on the Divine to step in.  Reminiscing on all of those times helped us to come to the simple conclusion that “doing the most” breeds stress and goes against our faith.  But by “just being” - we are accepting what is and trusting the process that leads to what will be.

Just think back to the times in life when you kept going overboard for something or you made a move before it was your time, and the results weren’t favorable.  Also think back to a time when you took your hands off of a situation and trusted that it would be handled….and just like that – whatever you needed handled, got handled….and if it didn’t, it wasn’t what you needed anyway.   

I’m not sure about you all, but it seems the more I “just be” - the easier things flow.  I’ve learned over the years that I don’t have to get even with anyone, I don’t have to go overboard, I don’t have to show anyone who I am, nor do I have to prove my worth.  All I have to do is handle what I can handle, stay in tuned with my faith, and just be.  And my just being and playing my part allows the Universe/God to do what it does best - intervene…..and everything falls where it’s supposed to. 

Just being,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: The Bedstuy Brim Hat // Black Crop Top (Old, H&M) // Black Jeans // Stan Smith Adidas

Something Always Shakes

I celebrated 37 years on the planet this past Monday. When I woke up that morning, I asked myself - “What significant lessons have you learned in 37 years?” Of course I came up with quite a few things like, 1. Follow my gut. 2. Consistency is the key. 3. Jeans without spandex or some type of stretch in them are useless. 4. Plastic shoes will deteriorate, but quality purses will last. 5. I should not consume Hennessy before 11 am (blame is on Mardi Gras). 6. Less is more. 7. Rest is spiritual. 8. Depleting yourself is not. 9. You find what you are looking for (good and bad). and 10. Something will always shake. I repeated the last one because that lesson stuck out to me the most….something will always shake.

I can’t tell you how many times over the last 37 years that I’ve been stressed or gone through hardships that I thought would never get better. And every single time I thought it was the end, something shook…for the good. Of course when I was going through it, it didn’t seem like it would ever end…but eventually it did. Then the next hardship would rear its ugly head, and I’ll go right back into my “this will never end tantrum”…but eventually that hardship went away too….and so did the next one, and the next one, and the one after that. It’s taken me 37 years (and will probably take some more) to realize that no matter what it is I am faced with - something will shake the situation, and it will change. It may not change during the time I’d like it to change, but it will turn around at the perfect time.

So for my 37th year on this planet, I’m vowing to exercise my faith muscle more, stress less, and remember that no matter how scary the situation looks….it will eventually pass because….something always shakes.

Peace and Blessings,

- The Birthday Girl

Oh and I forgot to tell you guys to check out this quick interview I did with Vintage Magazine….I think you all will enjoy it!

Thank you all for rocking with me!! xoxo

Picture Credit: Hidden Productions, LLC

I PACED Myself

Three years ago on this day, I sat down to write my first blog post for Style & Energy. I had no end goal in mind, nor did I have big plans for the blog. I just wanted to write, share my life experiences in hopes of motivating someone, and provide outfit inspiration. I put my all into this blog, and I did it without any finish line in mind. Three years later, and this blog has grown tremendously….actually more than I thought it would - and the biggest thing that has helped me along this journey is the simple fact that I PACED MYSELF.

When I used to run track for conditioning purposes only, I was always inclined to do the long distance run in a hurry. I wanted to get to the finish line as quick as possible. Every time I would take off sprinting so that I could get my laps over with and be ahead of everyone, my coach would holler at me from the field and say, “Pace yourself Saulsberry!” I didn’t get it. Until one day I found myself off to the side of the track, bent over with my hands on my knees…heaving and trying to catch any breathe I could find. When I finally got some energy to lift my head and see what was happening on the track, I saw my teammates jogging steadily like they didn’t have a care in the world. They ended up lapping me (the girl who was in such a hurry) several times. And as soon as I was able to get back on that track, you better believe I took my time and ran at my own pace. And not only did it help me with building stamina and conditioning for sports, it also helped me with building stamina and conditioning for life.

If this blog (and track practice) has taught me nothing else, it has definitely shown me the true essence of the verse, “The race is not given to the swift, but to the one who endureth till the end.” You are not in competition with anyone. THIS IS NOT A RACE! Your goals are your goals, no one else’s. Burning yourself out to achieve them will get you no where fast, but pacing yourself allows you to build the stamina you need to keep going through it all.

So let the other people jump out on the track and hit it fast…..just keep pacing yourself and see what happens. You’ll lap them soon enough.

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Dress // Heels

Granting MYSELF Mercy

I’ve formed an interesting habit over my 36 years of living, and it just hit me in the face recently.  Someone said to me, “so and so was being mean the other day.” And my immediate, robotic response was, “maybe they just had a bad day and really didn’t know how to channel their anger.”  Those words came flying out of my mouth without me even thinking.  My friend responded, “You’re always taking up for everyone.” I fixed my mouth for a snappy comeback (I am my father’s child) but then something made me stop and think.  My friend was right.  I do tend to give ALMOST every person the benefit of the doubt and all the grace and mercy in the world.  That’s who I am for the most part.  But that is not what I want to change.  The part that made me stop dead in my tracks and go hmmmmmm was the fact that I give all of this grace and mercy to human beings I really don’t know half of the time.  But when it comes to me, I’m cut throat.  Where they do that at??

Self-love….I preach it all the time, but then turn around and scold myself for missing a comma or criticize myself for saying the wrong words to a person.  But if another person does it, I’m quick to forgive and extend any mercy I have.  But when I do it – I don’t let up on myself for anything.  THIS HAS GOT TO STOP! 

The one thing that burns me up is when people say, “Sam, I can’t believe you did that!”  I don’t get mad because of what they said; I get mad because I’m trying to hold myself to a standard they have created in THEIR heads.  To.HELL.WITH.THAT!  I am human.  I will not get everything right.  I will not always have the right words.  I will spell something wrong, miss a comma, mispronounce a word, forget something, miss a step, use curse words, etc.  And that is okay.  I was not put on this earth to reach perfection.  I was put here to live, make mistakes, learn from my mistakes, and help others when I can.  So I’m going to do myself a favor and gracefully step away from the perfectionism I’ve placed on myself.  If I can be merciful when others fall short, I can damn sure do the same for myself….besides, I love Sam way more than I do them – so why not take it easy on her?            

Evolving,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Black Crop Top (Old, American Apparel) // Vintage Mom Jeans // Red Mules (sold out similar here) // Vintage Leather Coat

Photo Credit: Hidden Productions

Show, Don't Tell

It seems like a lot of people are so loud these days…especially on social media. Everyone is telling you who they are, what they got going on, how hard they hustle, what they make, who wants them, what kind of perks they have, how super real they are, how they should not be disrespected, how they are a queen or king, etc. Don’t get me wrong, everyone should exude confidence and think highly of themselves. I’m all for self-love. However, as the New Orleans bred rapper Lil Wayne once put it, “What’s understood ain’t got to be explained.”

There is no need to state the obvious. If you are walking in your light, you don’t have to tell people that you are shinning. They will see it. You don’t have to verbally demand respect from anyone. Carry yourself in a manner that deserves respect. And if a person isn’t respecting you even when you carry yourself as such, simply remove yourself from the situation.

Going back and forth with anyone (whether it be a colleague, a stranger, a family member, or a mate) about who you are, how you will be treated, what moves you make, and what you represent is useless. As a matter of fact, it often exposes your insecurities and diminishes your character. Whenever I catch myself telling someone who I am and what I’m about, I ask myself - “What point am I trying to prove? And am I trying to prove this point to them or MYSELF?”

“The loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room. ”

— Denzel Washington as Frank Lucas (American Gangster)

Think about it….does a true queen or king have to constantly reiterate that they are royalty? Nope, they just live in their nobility. Does the bible say that Jesus ever boasted or felt the need to continually tell people what He was capable of? Not that I read. He just did His thing and let His power speak for itself, and that’s the level I’m trying to get on.

Show them who you are, don’t tell them. Remember actions are way louder than words.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Fun fact: These leather pants came from my mother’s closet. She purchased them when she was 28 years old! The leather trench coat came from my aunt’s closet. Both of these items were bought before I was born. This is a lesson that buying quality clothing items is truly an investment. My sweatshirt came from H&M some time ago and boots from Zara.

Picture Credit: @d.braz_photography

On a Mind Diet

I was in a lounge area of an office waiting on some paperwork to be completed. In the waiting area, they had about three flat screen televisions mounted on different walls, and on each television set was some tragic news. On one television set a lady had been killed by her daughter, on another a veteran had been robbed, and on another one Trump was throwing a tantrum. Although I wanted to turn my head away from the television sets, I couldn’t. I was engrossed in the calamity, and slowly but surely worry started to creep into my soul. Then I reminded myself of some profound advice a dear friend shared with me years ago; “monitor what you monitor.” Pondering over his words, I declared right in that office that I was putting my mind on a diet.

Of course all negativity isn’t avoidable but if I can help it, I refuse to participate in anything that’s not going to inspire me, make me feel good, or make me laugh. My mind is the portal through which my dreams are born. Why would I cluster it up with anything that will stop that process? Just like I so carefully monitor what foods I put in my body, I need to do the same thing when it comes to my mind. I wouldn’t constantly feed my body junk food throughout the day because I know the results would not be in my favor. The same thing goes for the brain. Constantly feeding it figurative junk food will only put the mind in an unhealthy space.

Always remember that you are what you consume…..watch your mental weight.

Peace & Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Picture Credit: @d.braz_photography

Outfit Details: Blazer // Distressed Crop Top // Red Vans

I Don’t Do New Year’s Resolutions, But If I Did…

Ya’ll can have all of that New Year new me rigmarole. And please keep your resolutions far away from me because they make me itch.  Resolutions actually restrict me. I’m constantly evolving, growing, and reinventing myself daily therefore I have nothing to resolve when December 31st comes around.  BUT….if for some strange reason I wanted to renege and join our conformed society in making resolutions, I would declare for 2019 that I will not be forcing anything.

If 2018 did nothing else, it showed me that what’s for me will come to me.  Last year I did some pushing, pulling, tugging, kicking, etc.….and when it was all said and done, I came out of some situations stressed and mentally tired.  Then towards the end of the year I began to really connect with my intuition, control only what I could control, and let go of situations that were out of my reach - and once I started those rituals, the most miraculous things began happening.  Circumstances became easier to deal with, my environment became more peaceful, and things began to fall into place. 

It reminded me of one of the times I tried to go swimming in an ocean.  There I was in my one-piece, high-cut bathing suit and aviator sunglasses, trying to look cute and stay above the waves all at the same time.  I fought those waves like nobody’s business and came out with seaweed in my hair and missing sunglasses.  After being nearly taken under by a wave, I took a break to go sit in the sand and gather myself.  Those waves had gotten the best of me, but I was not giving up.  After all, I had some expensive sunglasses I needed to locate.  When I got back into the water and the first wave came rolling my way, I immediately braced myself for war.  But then something told me just to let go and swim with the current…and that’s what I did.  And from then on, I flowed.  Wherever the water took me, I went…and it was beautiful and way less stressful.  Did I ever find my glasses?  Nope. But what I did find was peace with the current – and that in itself was worth those sunglasses.     

In 2019, I’m flowing - not forcing.  I’m making peace with the current (i.e. life) and letting it take me wherever it wants to take me…..and my only obligation will be to make sure I enjoy the ride.

Happy New Year loves!   

- Samjah Iman

Photo Credit: Courtney Pittman of courtneypittman.com

 Outfit Details: Gold Neck Plunging Dress (Boohoo.com - sold out) // Ankle Strap Shoes