Asking Myself This One Question Is Changing My Trajectory

I read a particular article not too long ago that totally gave me a “wow” moment. This simple article was about a lady who was seeing a therapist because her marriage was on the rocks. She was distraught and confused about her situation until her free-spirited therapist (as described in her article) asked her this one question….”What would you do about this situation if fear wasn’t in the equation?” Immediately after the sentence left the therapist’s mouth, the lady said she knew exactly what her answer was and what she needed to do. My mind was consumed by reflection after reading that article. I thought about how fear is the focal point of a lot of decisions being made or not being made. I then asked myself, “Sam, what would you be doing right now if fear wasn’t a part of the equation?” Listen…..I came up with about 20 different things without even thinking twice.

People are always talking about how fear is the reason most aren’t achieving their grand goals. But what’s not often discussed is how fear possibly governs even the smallest situations in our everyday lives. To put it plainly, some of us are basically scared of rejection, outcomes, and consequences not just regarding the major things, but the minor things as well. For instance, sometimes we won’t say what we feel because we are afraid a person will stop speaking to us or take our feelings the wrong way. Sometimes we won’t make that call because we are scared the other person won’t answer. Some of us are scared to rest because we fear someone will outdo us or something won’t get done so we work ourselves to death. Some of us are scared that life won’t turn out how we want it to so we rush into doing things. Some of us are scared of not having enough of whatever we need so we become physical and emotional hoarders. Some of us are scared that others will think the worst of us so we put up fronts. Fear is taking the wheel in a number of situations in our lives, and it’s time to pull the car over and switch drivers.

After reading the article, I incorporated that question into my everyday actions. When a dilemma arises, no matter how big or small, I ask myself what I would do if fear wasn’t in the equation. In most situations, the answer comes to me faster than I can blink. Asking myself this simple, yet powerful question has helped me discover more of my truth. I now know the main reason behind some of my actions and setbacks. And now that I know what the exact issue is….the real work is about to begin. Because knowing what you need to do is one thing, actually doing it is a whole other (and baby, that’s an entire post for another day…whew child).

Negating Fear,

- Samjah Iman

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