I'm On a Podcast....CHECK ME OUT PLEAAASSSEEEE!

It was my first day of Film School at Howard University, and I was on edge. I was nervous about attending such a prestigious institute, nervous about meeting new people, and nervous about the shoes I chose to rock…were they stylish enough for this fashionably, progressive environment, should I have worn the boots instead? I had a million things going through my head and on top of that, my SUV was illegally parked outside of the building (parking spaces on campus were like black people at a Trump rally - few and far between). I was stressed. I wanted to drive back to Monroe, Louisiana and curl up under my momma, but I couldn’t afford the gas so I had to stay…..and I’m glad I did.

My HU experience afforded me the opportunity to not only learn some valuable things about my heritage as it relates to film, it also gave me the opportunity to meet the most incredibly, talented humans from around the world - one of those humans I’m referring to is Crispin Brooks. Crispin and I hit it off immediately when we met in script class. His Caribbean accent was so entertaining that I could listen to him talk all day. His bubbly energy enthralled me. We liked the same music, we loved to laugh, loved to talk about fashion, and we both shared the same nostalgia for everything 90’s. We became super cool. He often shared his dreams with our crew about returning to his island, Anguilla, after film school to create several media platforms to tell stories with an island flair - and he did just that.

After years of living our lives beyond HU we reconnected through social media, and he invited me to be on his podcast! I’m extremely honored that my HU brother thought my life journey was interesting enough to share with his audience. I had a great deal of fun doing this interview. I discussed my path to where I am now, and I talked about my views on fashion, life, and more. I would deeply appreciate it if my Style & Energy fam would listen to the podcast when y’all get the chance….oh and leave a comment on the podcast web-page if you’re digging it. Thanks a bunch!!!

Check the podcast out here….talk to y’all soon! Stay safe!

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Vintage Dress (found it in H&M for $10!)// White Pumps

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Determined to Get the Waffle...

When I was a young kid, one of my favorite restaurants to dine at was the Waffle House (snobbish, right?). There was something about the smell of mop water mixed with fried bacon and constant chatter that appealed to my senses. I learned about the Waffle House through my father. The first time he took me there I was not only amazed by the atmosphere, I was also impressed by the fact that every worker knew his name. I had to get back to this place by any means necessary, and my father was the key. So over grits, runny eggs (his not mine), waffles, and overly-sweetened orange juice, I asked my father what the deal was on this restaurant, how everyone knew his name, and how could I be a part of this cult. He told me he comes to this particular Waffle House every Saturday around 7ish in the morning, and he’s been doing it for years. “For years?”….I thought to myself - “and I’m just now finding out about this slice of shabby heaven?” I wanted the waffle I was eating, the smells I was inhaling, and the conversations I was hearing around me to be a constant in my life. But 7ish in the morning on a Saturday was a stretch. So I kindly asked my father to consider changing his Saturday schedule to accommodate my late sleeping patterns. Of course he rejected that suggestion. He then told me if I wanted to go with him that bad, I’d have to be disciplined and wake up. I weighed my options. I then took another bite of my fluffy, golden-colored waffle…..and that was all she wrote. I was determined to do what I had to do to get that waffle every Saturday morning, and I did just that. I made it to the Waffle House that next Saturday, and a few more Saturdays after that. My determination outweighed any obstacles that posed as barriers…sleep (one of my favorite things to do in the world) couldn’t even hold me back from this goal.

A shift is currently happening in my life, and it’s time for me to make some moves so I’ve been searching my soul for motivation/discipline. As a result of soul-searching, this story came to my memory and reminded me of the tenacity and spunk that lives inside of me. I thought about how, even at a young age, I did what I had to do to get where I wanted to be. I thought about how hard it was to get up, but how sweet the victory (or the waffle) was because I did the hard part. So as I thought about this story, I reminded myself that when I want something REALLY bad, there’ s no stopping me. I set my eyes on the prize, make negotiations if need be, map out a route to get to the prize, then I put the pedal to the metal.

Sometimes we forget about who we are and what we’ve accomplished before. Every now and then we have to remind ourselves of the beast that lives within us. So the next time you stumble upon a roadblock or need direction for an endeavor, dig deep within yourself and pull some inspiration from a past victory. I bet you’ll get at least some of the motivation you need to pursue your next big or small thing. Now if y’all will excuse me, I have another waffle to go after.

Determined,

- Samjah Iman

Be safe y’all!

Outfit Details: Shoes // Top // Distressed Jeans (I purchased these jeans from Walmart and cut them up myself.)

Your Activism Doesn't Have to Look Like Mine - 10 WAYS TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE CAUSE

We are pissed off regarding the state of America, and rightfully so. Unfortunately this emotion is not a new one. It’s a very familiar feeling that the black community can’t seem to shake. It may lie dormant for a while, but sooner or later it’s agitated by some racist cop, bigoted politician, or economic/health disparity. But hey….I’m not here to preach, nor am I here to give you my views on the recent tragedies. Y’all already know where I stand when it comes to my community. The purpose of this blog post is not to reiterate the issues this country has. Its purpose is to remind and inform my readers that when it comes to this activism thing, there’s more than one way to skin a cat….and your way doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s.

Do not feel discouraged if you aren’t out there in the thick of things marching on the front lines with the rest of the world. Yes those rallies are critical, exhilarating, and prideful - and I ABSOLUTELY WANT THEM TO CONTINUE; however, there are more ways you can contribute to the cause if publicly protesting is not your thing….and it’s okay if it’s not your thing because activism is personal. It’s about doing what’s in your spirit, and not everyone has to do the exact same thing to support any movement. So if you’re wondering what you could do, aside from publicly protesting, to play your part in evoking change, check out my suggestions below.

10 WAYS TO CONTRIBUTE TO THE CAUSE

1. Support a black-owned business.

2. Have those tough conversations with your white friends, colleagues, or co-workers about the issues our community faces and what they can do to help. Ask them to use their privilege to advocate for change on our behalf.

3. VOTE. Register to Vote. Tell your people to Vote. Spread the word about Voting.

4. Attend community meetings, call, or email your local politicians and voice your concerns.

5. Post important and positive information regarding the black community on your social media pages.

6. Read! Educate yourself then spread the knowledge.

7. Hire qualified, black people if you own a business.

8. Donate to a black organization that uses their resources to fight systemic racism. (I just went to this link and donated a few dollars that will go towards getting protestors out of jail. It was quick and easy, and I didn’t have to leave my couch to do it.)

9. Go harder when it comes to your dreams.

10. Sign Petitions.

As my mother says, “just like there’s more than one way to get to New York, there’s more than one way to get to change.” We need all hands on deck, my people.

What’s your mode of transportation?

“If you can’t fly, then run.
If you can’t run, then walk.
If you can’t walk, then crawl.
by all means, keep moving.”

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

Doing My Part,

- Samjah Iman

Who Are You Asking?

I came into this world extremely sure of myself. As a kid, you couldn’t tell me I wasn’t a supernatural being and that skittles didn’t fuel my superpowers. Then life began to happen, and I allowed certain situations and people to continuously chip away at my self-assurance. When I finally woke up, I went into overdrive repairing what had been damaged within myself. And just when I thought my self-love was back to a healthy level, something or someone would come right along and challenge that belief. I then realized that the work I was doing was a constant effort. And while I couldn’t control some of the challenging circumstances that were sure to come, I could control two things - my reaction to the circumstances and my tribe (as I have been recently reminded). Keep reading my babies.

Y’all know I have to hear most things a few times (and in different ways) before they are embedded in my psyche. And on this past Mother’s Day weekend (shout out to all the mothers!), I got the “aha moment” I needed. My entire soul was fed while watching Angela Davis and Nikki Giovanni talk their talk, live, on Girl Trek’s Facebook page (and I caught Jill Scott and Erykah Badu’s live music exchange on Instagram…LAWD last weekend was one for the books!). I had my notebook on my lap, my pencil in my right hand, and my semi-full wine glass in my left. Class was in session, and I was soaking it all up! Every other second I was yelling “Go Girl!” at my cell phone screen. The entire discussion was fulfilling to say the least, but there was one statement from Nikki G that hit me right in my gut. One young, black lady joined the live conversation to ask the queens a question. I can’t remember her inquiry verbatim, but it was something to the tune of, “what do you two women do when people don’t see your potential or they don’t acknowledge your presence, or you don’t feel like you’re enough for certain groups?” After she asked the question, there was a split second of silence from everyone. Then Nikki G slightly leaned toward her webcam (or maybe I leaned in toward mine anticipating the answer…who knows) and said in her ‘I’m going to tell it like it is’ tone, “Who are these people you are asking? Who is your audience?” I almost threw my phone across the room. I stood up and had to take a few steps back. Nikki G asked the young lady again who these people were that she was seeking validation from. She then told the young lady (in so many words) that she not only needed to evaluate herself, she needed to evaluate her audience.

Yes we are responsible for the majority of the work we need to do on ourselves. But let’s not forget that the old adage “It takes a village to raise a child” not only applies to children, but adults as well. Just like it’s crucial to develop and market to your target audience for your business to grow, it’s also imperative that you develop and market to your target audience for your life to grow as well. I attribute a lot of my maturity to the hard work I put in daily to be a better me, but the people I choose to surround myself with have played an equally important part in shaping the person I am today. I can’t stress enough how surrounding yourself with people who are in favor of your mental, physical, and emotional well-being is instrumental to your growth. The people I’m referring to are not the ones who feed your ego or the ones who are only associated with you for their benefit. The people I’m referring to are the ones who sincerely want to see you sprout, who give you constructive criticism that is meant to propel you, and who encourage you along your journey. There have been plenty of times I’ve wanted the wrong audience to clap for me, to see my worth, to recognize my talents…..and that shit was draining and unproductive. Then when I began celebrating myself and submitting to my inner God….my audience changed for the better. Do y’all know that almost EVERY TIME I write a blog post I get an email saying someone unsubscribed? Years ago this would have caused me to question my abilities. But these days I’m aware that #1 - their unsubscribing does not validate or invalidate my purpose, and #2 - I’m only trying to perform for the audience who is in favor of this show. Everyone else can stand outside the venue.

Dwell where you are celebrated, properly corrected, and uplifted.

Check your vibe, then check your tribe.

Building a Dope Target Audience For My Life,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: McDowell’s Tee // Peplum Skirt (old) // White Pumps // Lip Stick (shade, Hot Mama)

This is How My Freedom Looks...

I finally watched the Harriet Tubman movie.  Everyone knows I’m a stickler when it comes to my sleep routine, and this movie kept me up waaaay past my bedtime - but I had no quarrels about it.  The movie was great.  I was fascinated by Harriet’s tenacity.  My watch alerted me that it was 15 minutes till 1:00 a.m., and I looked at it like it had its nerves.  I needed to see what Harriet was about to do, and I had no time for an electronic, time-telling hater reminding me that I was not on my regular sleep schedule. 

After the movie went off, I was bursting with pride.  I was motivated by girl Harriet.  I was inspired to do something brave.  As I lay in my bed decked out in a headscarf similar to the one Harriet rocked, I thought about what freedom meant to me. I understood deeply what freedom meant to slaves, but I hadn’t taken the moment to define what it looked like for me.  I went to bed that night without a clear picture of freedom as it related to my life.  I figured I’d discover the answer sooner or later, or I’d watch another movie or documentary that would give my brain something else to decipher - the story of my life.   

Weeks after the Harriet movie was totally out of my psyche, I was having a conversation with my mother on not being scared of certain outcomes.  I was explaining a situation I was faced with and how I wasn’t afraid to seek the truth because the results didn’t scare me.  My mother responded to my perspective and said, “that’s when you are free.”  She then said, “when you’re not afraid of loosing or failing - it frees you.”  The lightbulb went off in my head.  I have heard her say this before - I even wrote about it on this blog somewhere. But because I’m in the season of openness, the information hit a little different. Not being afraid to fail was my definition of freedom…..and I never thought of it as such. 

The conversation with my mother had my wheels turning.  I thought about the fact that I have almost never been afraid of the word no.  I’d ask any question I wanted to ask, prepared for the answer to not be in my favor.  I have never been afraid of starting over.  I’d leave any situation that wasn’t and isn’t serving me.  I have never been afraid of losing.  I’d take on any challenge not dwelling on the fact that the outcome may not be in my favor.  I have never been afraid of being without.  Although I love nice things, those things do not bind me to anyone or any situation. I have never been afraid of going against the grain.  The majority’s opinion doesn’t sway me, the God in my heart does.  Now…..have all the situations I’ve mentioned above been easy to conquer?  Hell no.  Am I still learning how to conquer them properly?  Damn right.  But the longer I keep living, the more I value my peace and autonomy.  And if anything or anyone threatens either of those two, I’m not afraid to make the necessary changes.   

“I don’t want to lose this good life, but I ain’t scared. ”

— Jill Scott

I’m discovering that my freedom is tied to my faith.  The more I exercise that faith, the stronger it becomes. And the stronger my faith becomes, the more confident I am in using it.  It’s contradicting to say I trust that things will be okay but then fear taking a big step or fear asking for something because the answer may be no.  Yes it’s uncomfortable to fail.  It’s uncomfortable to be rejected.  But once you discover that the failure/rejection/no didn’t kill you and doesn’t define your life, you begin to build courage.  And once you have that type of courage, nothing will hold you back….you’re free. 

I am not free because I’m living a good life. I am free because my life isn’t predicated on anyone else’s yes, no, validation, and/or presence.  I’m free because losing and failing do not restrict me.     

Give me liberty, or give me death,

- Samjah Iman

P.S. - I hope everyone is well during these times.  All of you all and this world are in my prayers.  Please stay hopeful.  Peace and Blessings!

Outfit Details:  Polka Dot Dress (Bohoo, sold out) // Vans

Trusting and Flowing....

Just a little quick message…

Outfits below!

Sorry guys, I have no details on these looks. They are all old styles I pulled from the back of my closet. Anyway…..enjoy the time you currently have. Keep trusting and flowing….

Later!

- Samjah Iman

Quarantine Confession...

I have a confession. I think I may have played a part in conjuring up this crisis we are currently in *nervously bites nails*. I know, I know….I apologize! You see…I’m working on this manifestation thing, and I’m still learning how to be precise with the universe. But just hear me out before you plot my demise, okay?

About a month ago I was over everything that drained my energy. Men were getting on my last nerve, and the world was too loud for my central system. So I cried out to the universe (God), Mary, Joseph, Peter, friends, strangers, the trees, my ancestors, and whoever would listen and asked for a break. I repeatedly said I needed a break from men and the world. I said it so much that it was all I thought about. The next thing I knew the world started shutting down, and everyone was forced to watch the pandemonium unfold behind their sanitized doors. At first I didn’t connect my wishes to what was going on, but a question from a friend made me realize that my plead had been heard.

In an effort to look at the bright side of our current crisis, my friend decided to ask her social media followers what positive things were happening as a result of being quarantined. She stated that she had finally met her neighbor after being in her house for quite some time. Another person stated that they were able to spend more time with their kid. I’m an introvert so it didn’t take me long to come up with several positive things that have transpired during my quarantine. Hell, I self-quarantine every chance I get when the world is normal. But I decided to think beyond the surface before I answered the question….and it came to me. This quarantine gave me the break I had been manifesting since January.

I’ve been vowing to slow down since 2019, but every time I turned around something or someone was in my face. Being that I get my energy from solitude and there was no solitude happening in my world, I was internally drowning. I didn’t have time to sort things out or to make the best decisions because I felt overwhelmed. Creating was pushed to the back burner and dating even became a burden. I wanted a timeout so bad that I confessed to a gentleman, while sitting across from him on a date, that I needed a break from him and any species that resembled him. I was meeting this person over here, going to several events, taking a picture in between, and responding to requests, emails, texts, calls, and inquiries on top of all those things. IT WAS ABSOLUTELY TOO MUCH! So slowly I began to clear my schedule, but I wasn’t doing the best job at it; therefore, I asked for help. And boy did I get it!!

Although the reason behind this quarantine truly sucks, I can’t help but express my sincere gratitude for it. Not only am I completing a lot of tasks, I’m also getting that much-needed time to sort through some thoughts and feelings. My mindset is shifting. I’m relearning some things. I’m having essential, detailed conversations and enjoying the process of gradual maturation. When this is all said and done, I think I’m going to have an interesting story to share. Stay tuned y’all.

Quarantining and Smiling,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Relationship Pending Tee // Flare Pants

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Sisters, How Y'all Feel? Brothers, Y'all Alright?

Whew! This world has turned upside down in just a few shorts days, and I’m still trying to figure out when Black History month left the scene! Too much and not enough is happening right now. A lot of people are scared, confused, and anxious at the moment. I get it. That’s why I wanted to drop in real quick to see how everyone is holding up and to throw some good energy and inspiration your way. Let’s jump in below.

THE LATEST ON AS SAM’S WORLD TURNS….

1. What I’ve Been Monitoring - I’m keeping abreast of the crisis unfolding right before our eyes, but I’m making sure to feed my mind and spirit with positive things to counter all the scary news. I’ve been watching funny and inspirational YouTube videos, and I’m taking the time to catch up on some interesting shows on television. Right now the Hillary Clinton series on Hulu has my attention. It’s a documentation of her journey from childhood to now. It’s cool to see how she navigated the world under all the circumstances she has encountered. It’s also interesting to see her and Bill’s true life behind the political doors. I also just finished watching the latest season of Grown-ish. Yes it’s a college show, but the writing and story lines are actually compelling, relatable, and relevant. Oh and the fashion…..whoever the wardrobe stylist is for this show has my heart!! I get tons of style inspiration from all the characters!

2. What I’ve Been Reading - In the midst of all the chaos and the unknown, the one thing you can control is your mind. I’m forever working on training my thoughts and perspective. So when my girl recommended The Power Of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy in our group chat, I jumped on purchasing the book. I just cracked it open, but from what I can tell it will definitely be beneficial to my journey. I recently created a reading nook in my home, so I’m excited to snuggle up with this book in that designated area.

3. What I’ve Been Listening To - A Written Testimony by Jay Electronica!!! I’ve not only been listening to this album, I’ve been studying it as well. That is what real hip hop does to me….it forces me to grow, discover, learn, and have in-depth conversations. Each time I listen to this album I catch something I didn’t hear the previous time. Jay Electronica has been in the rap game for a minute; yet, it took him SEVERAL years before he dropped his studio album…..and it was definitely worth the wait. The moral of this story to me is - everything in due time. Just make sure in the meantime, while you’re waiting for your moment, you’re picking up gems and exercising your mind and faith so that you can come correct with whatever you set out to do. Congrats Jay!!!!

4. What I’ve Been Wearing - It seems comfortable will be a reoccurring theme in my spring/summer wardrobe. Anything flowing, stretchy, or loose - bring it my way!!! Minimalism is my thing. The less I have to deal with, the more comfortable I am….and that goes for fashion and life.

5. What I’m Working On - Y’all, it’s so hard for me to stay out of this peanut head of mine!!!! I’m trying my best not to over analyze and deep dive into certain things. I sometimes can’t enjoy a simple moment without trying to discover the underlying cause of the moment lol. I’m working on this aspect of myself, but it’s hard to combat this issue being that I am a true Aquarius and that I was raised to think critically. The best practices that have remedied this habit for me have been participating in mindless activities. When I find myself overthinking, I tune into someone else’s life via a book or television. Or, I write it out. I’m bearing with myself though, because I know I’m a work in progress.

6. Quote For The Week - I had a conversation with my mother the other day about how difficult it is to be a righteous person (defined by my own terms) who tunes out the world and does what’s best for them. I won’t lie, I get tired of trying to be who I’m supposed to be in a world that doesn’t celebrate individuality and authenticity. Her reply was something that I already knew but had to hear again. She said, “Always try to do a difficult right (what’s in your spirit) instead of an easy wrong (the thing that isn’t in your spirit). Doing what’s right is like getting rid of the debt upfront, Doing the wrong thing is letting the debt collect over time.” We got to continue to pay it up front y’all.

“The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.”

— Dave Chappelle

Everyone, please remain vigilant and safe out here. This virus thing is serious business; however, when I rode my bike the other day through the empty streets of New Orleans, I couldn’t help but smile. Yes I’m concerned about those who have been directly and indirectly affected by this crisis, but at the same time I’m enjoying this downtime. It’s peaceful. The world seems so motionless right now, and sometimes that in itself is the cure to whatever has been disrupted….stillness.

Being still,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: T-shirt // Biker Shorts // Thigh-High Boots (My entire outfit came from Forever 21…yes even the boots!)

Photo Credit: 87 Photography 

What I'm No Longer Praying For in the Midst of Chaos…

I remember being trapped in a horrible job situation or at a low point in life and feverishly praying for things to get better quickly, and all I got in return was the same situation…day after day. Of course we don’t get everything we pray for, for a reason, but that doesn’t stop the disappointment or frustration that comes with the wait. When going through burdensome times, I would often ask religious people how to pray, and some would tell me I had to constantly ask God for what I wanted. Others would advise me to tell God what I desired once, and patiently wait for the results. I tried both ways…..and I still felt out of alignment with prayer.

I believe that everything happens in due time, but the prayer situation still boggles my mind from time to time. So in an effort to ease some of my confusion, I talked to my mother about my concerns. She expressed that she had been having the same questions herself. She told me that she could remember as a youngster praying every single night, pleading with God to end the Vietnam War. Her prayers were eventually answered, 10 YEARS LATER.

I am an extremely spiritual person, and I wholeheartedly believe in the power of prayer. I also believe God gave us the tools we need to bring forth what we desire; hence manifestation. But when someone is going through tough times, they don’t want to wait 10 years, 10 months, or even 10 minutes for their prayers to be answered. So after praying for some of the same things every single night without results, I felt the need to shift my prayer perspective. I’d been feeling this way for a while, and because I was ready to receive some guidance on this matter….it came.

During one of my usual Sunday morning rituals, I was searching for some teachings on YouTube when I ran across a TD Jakes’ sermon. I can’t remember what the entire sermon was about, but he definitely said some words that gave me the insight I was seeking. He spoke about Noah’s ark and how it rained for 40 days and 40 nights. He related that to the current struggles people go through and how they wait everyday to be released from them. And his advice for that was, “get comfortable and ride it out.” It was a “duh Sam!” moment for me. Jakes was basically saying, instead of constantly agonizing over your situation - just roll with it until it shifts. Of course it’s not that simple to do when you’re experiencing hardship, but it’s the best thing you can do at the moment because you’re in the storm for a reason. And if you endure, you will come out greater than you were before you went in. But you have to go through the process to get to the other side - no matter how long it takes. And if you abort the process too early, you may not reach your full potential. TD Jakes’ words reminded me of a line I read in The TAO of WU (thanks for the book recommendation Chris!). In that book, Rza (founding Wu-tang member) said that through experience he learned to trust chaos and confusion instead of judging it, fearing it, or trying to reach an immediate solution. He said that this was not only his secret to production, it’s also the secret to life. After listening to Jakes and reflecting on Rza’s words, everything began to make sense. Instead of trying to pray my way out of storms, I will accept what is, ride it out, and stay in alignment. Because the last thing I want to do is disrupt any incubation process that I am supposed to undergo in order to reach the next step of wisdom or blessings. I will no longer pray for storms to end, things to begin, or things to turn around. I will visualize the outcome I want, stay fixated on that vision, ask God to keep me in alignment, change my perspective, and bless me with the strength to hang in there until my shift comes. Remember, when you grapple with something it rebels, when you leave it alone it flows.

Both the beauty and scary part of life is that we don’t know what it will bring. However, what we do know is positive things will happen as will chaos. My prayer for you all and myself is that more positive shows up in our lives than chaos. And when the chaos comes, I pray that we trust it and view it as a breeding process necessary for our growth. May God grant us the endurance we need to ride these waves until calmer waters come.

Wave surfing,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Vintage Blazer // Jeans // Heels (old, similar here) // Purse (my mother’s closet)

Photography Credit: 87 Photography 

Come Back To The Middle

“Are you afraid of what CAN happen or what HAS happened?” That’s the question this young man slapped me in the face with as we sat in his living room and dissected my past relationships over veggie pizza and red wine. After he asked the question, I just sat there with my expression twisted as I looked in his eyes. I’m usually quick on the draw in situations such as this, but I was stumped. I took a sip of my wine to stall the conversation, then I asked him to repeat the question knowing damn well I heard it loud and clear. He obliged my request, and I still didn’t have an answer. After several seconds of silence coupled with immodest gulps of wine, I had an “aha” moment. I pried my wine glass away from my lips and finally responded with this, “actually….the question you just asked me made me realize that my fear doesn’t make sense. Because the past is over, and I have no idea what’s to come in the future. All I have is the middle…the moment. So what am I scared of?!”

I told you all last month that my most important lessons are resonating with me on a deeper level these days. And I don’t know if my chakras were working overtime or if the other elements in the room were kicking in - but when I was hit with the above-mentioned question, everything made perfect sense. The reason I was stumped and couldn’t answer the question was because I had no justification for the fear we were discussing. The past is over, and the future isn’t here yet. All I have is the time in between the past and the future, and that’s the middle. And in the moment, in the middle, I was good! I am good. The question I was asked reminded me of an Erykah Badu interview I read years ago. During this interview she was talking about renouncing fear. She stated that she noticed her anxiety and fear come when she is thinking about something that happened in the past or something that hasn’t even happened yet. But when she stays in the moment (or in the middle as I call it), she’s chill.

It’s so easy to be paralyzed by past occurrences and things we THINK will happen. Some people structure their lives according to those two instances. But when you stop and think about it, it’s absurd to base your now on a situation or situations that aren’t coming back and off an uncertain future. Every now and then I find myself getting caught up in what happened before or what can possibly happen going forward. Over 90% of my worries come from what history has shown me or what I have told myself might happen, when the truth of the matter is - none of those things are happening right now. And if either of them ever do, I’ll deal with it at that time.

I truly understand how one can rob him or herself of a moment or opportunity just by conjuring up past events or by letting their mind drift off into “what if” world. Of course it’s smart for me to be mindful and cautious, but I’m going to try my best not to let a past situation or “what if” situation that’s not even active ruin what currently is. The past is gone, and the future is uncertain….the middle is where it’s at. I’m staying there.

In the Middle,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: African Print Bijou Patchwork Crop Top // Skirt (Old) // Neon Pumps (specific color sold out, other colors here)

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

20 Hard Lessons I Had to Learn....

It’s my 38th year on earth. I’m blessed. Birthdays are becoming more of an intimate celebration for me. I don’t need the parties or all the hoopla. I just need a moment to first be grateful, then to reflect on how far I’ve come. It’s amazing how time does what it does regardless of what is happening around us. At one point in my life I thought my confusing teenage years would never end, now look at me - 38 years old and still trying to figure shit out.

There have been some waves to ride on this journey to 38. I’ve had some beautiful times that have left me in pure awe and bliss, and I’ve encountered some rough patches that had me side eyeing God like, “Really??” But through it all I’ve gained some valuable lessons that I hold close to me, and I’m on a quest for more wisdom.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t share the knowledge I’ve been gifted with over the years with you guys. So I looked through some of my journals, and pulled 20 hard lessons I learned throughout my journey. I refer to them as hard lessons because I’m still learning most of them. Now keep in mind that these lessons are tailored to my experiences. However, feel free to take away whatever you may need. Let’s jump into them below.

20 Hard Lessons I Had to Learn

1. Blaming other people for your mishaps and poor decisions is futile. Learn from past mistakes, forgive yourself, move the hell on, and be prepared to make some new mistakes. That’s how you gain wisdom, Sam.

2. Your intuition is the most valuable asset you possess. Use it, use it some more, and use it again. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. The more you ignore it, the more faint it becomes.

3. Believe what he shows you, not what he says.

4. You’re always going to be learning. Gaining knowledge and wisdom never ceases. In fact, the more you know - the more confused you may be.

5. You only have a few friends…just a few. The older you get, the less you will have - and that’s okay.

6. Talk to your loved ones (especially your parents) as often as you can. They don’t stay around forever. You won’t either.

7. Always ask yourself if you are living for you or for someone else. Peer pressure is real and can distort even the most confident person’s view.

8. Save more money girl. Life is full a surprises and some of them cost a fortune.

9. Vulnerability is actually a sign of strength. Open your heart. It’s a courageous act.

10. This too shall pass.

11. Gather your thoughts before you speak in a heated discussion. It’s easier to do damage than to undo it.

12. Breathe…..just breathe. Take deep breaths. They really help.

13. Try to always operate in a state of gratefulness. It helps make life a little easier.

14. Deep connections energize you. Keep seeking them.

15. Your alone time is non-negotiable. It revitalizes you. It nurtures your spirit. Don’t ever let anyone infringe upon that…..no matter how cute they are lol.

16. Understand that other people are fighting battles too. Sometimes their decisions have nothing to do with you but everything to do with their experiences, situations, fears etc. Get over yourself.

17. Don’t be afraid to take chances. At the least you’ll have an interesting story to tell.

18. Stop looking, and you’ll find it.

19. You are going to be pissed off at yourself in the future if you look back and see that you dimmed your light. To avoid a mid-life crisis, be who you are fully meant to be right now.

20. Listen more than you talk. Sometimes if you let the other person do the talking, you’ll learn everything you need to know without having to seek.

Thank you guys for sharing this journey with me. I appreciate you all and this platform to express my thoughts and feelings more than you know! My heart is full.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Joggers // Sweatshirt (Similar color)// Pumps

Photo Credit: Corey Anthony

You're A Magician, and This Is Your Magic...

I ran into an interesting, older gentleman the other day while picking up a couple of things at the grocery store. I spotted him in the bakery section on my way to checkout. We glanced at each other, and he smiled. I returned the gesture and went on about my business. I made my way to the checkout line, and guess who got in line right behind me? Yup, the man from the bakery section. I turned around for a quick look just to make sure it was him, and my hunch was confirmed. Right after I turned back around to concentrate on moving up in the line, the older gentleman said, “excuse me,” in the most delicate tone. He said it so faintly that I was uncertain if he was talking to me or someone else - so I kept my head straight. He said it again with a little more base in his voice, and that’s when I figured he was trying to get my attention. It was the end of a long day, and the last thing I wanted to do was hold a conversation in the Whole Foods checkout line. I just wanted to buy my soup and water, go home, take a bath, eat, call my mother, and read. Exhaustion was all in my body language, but I tried my best to muster up the most pleasant aura I could. So I turned my body half way around and hesitantly said, “yes, sir?”

Now let’s rewind. While driving to the store, I was overthinking everything that happened that day. I was having several “what ifs” and “why not” thoughts in my mind. I was wondering when some things were going to come to fruition and why they hadn’t yet. Now fast forward to the checkout line. I’m totally in my head and not to mention tired, and this man wants to chat about God knows what. So right after I answered him with the “yes, sir,” he replied in his thick Caribbean accent and said, “I feel your welcoming spirit, and I want to share with you that I helped get rid of my stage-four cancer by adopting a plant-based diet.” I was intrigued. So I looked at his hands to see if he was pulling my leg and holding some pork, and I was relieved to see he was clutching a bag of nuts. I congratulated him on his feat, and our discussion took off from there. He started talking about how all humans need to do is relax because everything takes care of itself. I obeyed my gut and continued to engage him in conversation. My turn to check out finally came, and I was handing my items to the cashier while still listening to the gentleman. When I was done checking out, I was so engrossed in our exchange that I actually waited for him to purchase his bag of nuts so we could continue our conversation in the parking lot.

We talked so long my soup turned cold, but I wasn’t tripping at all because I felt like I needed to hear what this man had to say. We continued to talk about several other things, but the one sentence that stood out the most (especially since I was overthinking everything on the drive to the store) was the last one he said before I went on my way. After he talked about the importance of peace and ridding our bodies of stress, he looked me dead in my eyes and said, “You’re a magician, and your FOCUS is your magic.” Now of course I’m aware of and strongly believe in the law of attraction….but when faced with a challenge, I sometimes forget certain truths and need reminders. And the older gentleman not only reminded me of what I already knew, he relayed it in a way that flared up a flame inside of me. I truly believe that you can hear information all of your life, but until you’re really ready to receive it - you won’t receive it. But I caught it that night, and I left the grocery store with a deeper understanding of the capabilities I possessed.

They say the teacher appears when the student is ready, and I wholeheartedly believe that I’ve been preparing myself to hear from God; hence, information keeps finding me. And when it does find me, it resonates with me on a more profound level because I’m open to receiving it. I met that man in Whole Foods for a reason, and ever since our meeting - I can’t stop thinking about how beautifully humans are made and how our mind is literally our superpower. Yea we talk a lot about law of attraction, the God in us, and how we can shift things…..but do we really know the depths of our greatness?! And better yet, are we acting on them?

I’m about to work this magic, y’all. Join me.

What you focus on, expands.

- Samjah Iman

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Floral Top (Zara, in store - sale rack) // Red Boots

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Life Update: I Got To Step Back and Realign

Hold on….can we do the whole new year countdown thing again? I wasn’t ready!! I still have to meditate on my 2020 visions, clear my mind, get my Jeep washed (didn’t get a chance to do that but once in 2019- JUDGE NOT!), and clean out my closet! I mean….I knew the new year was on its way, and I was preparing for it and all. But I didn’t think it would appear four hours (yes I’m exaggerating) after I made the preparations!

Listen. January 2020 came on the scene like the Fugees - “ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide….gonna fiiiiiinnnnnnd you….” And find me it did, but I wasn’t trying to be discovered just yet. I’ve been running over here, jumping through there, and sliding everywhere else. I haven’t had the chance to just sit on the couch and gather my thoughts for the new year. I know what the deal is though. My 2019 has kind of spilled over into my 2020, and it’s no one’s fault but my own. You see, last year I was handing out a lot of yeses to everyone else and not enough to me. I realized I was operating from a scarcity mindset; therefore, I would take on extra tasks/jobs because I constantly told myself that I needed the money. And as a result, I was ripping and running and always doing something when I should have been focusing on aligning myself with my dreams and desires, having faith that what I need will appear (like it always does), then releasing control and letting my higher self intervene.

I’m constantly living and learning though, and this year I vowed to act on what I learn. So I’m going to first clean up these 2019 residuals then honor that vow. I’m stepping back and realigning myself with an abundant vibe. I’m no longer operating from the “I need money” standpoint. I will bask in the “I have exactly what I need and there’s no need for me to do the most” energy. Taking on too many tasks crowds my mind and doesn’t give me the space I need to dream, create, and hear my own thoughts. It also leaves me feeling rushed and unaccomplished.

I think about how even through the difficult phases in my life, I’ve always been taken care of. There’s not a time I’ve been without the essentials. But somehow I let a tiny bit of societal propaganda get in my head, and I started turning up only to be burnt out. This year I’m aware of what I need to be open to and what I need to pass on. I’m moving more strategically and getting back to dreaming. I will no longer focus on the things I need and don’t have, instead - I will operate in an abundant space and channel my energy toward the blessings that surround me daily. And after doing all of that, I will then sit back and marvel at how things will begin to fall right in place.

“Needing nothing attracts everything. ”

— Russell Simmons

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Crop Mock Sweater (Old similar here) // Midi Sweater Skirt (available in stores only at Zara ) // Red Wide Brim Hat

Picture Credit: 87 Photography

I Asked 25 People What They're Saying No To in 2020. Here Are Their Responses...

I learn something from every person I encounter. I’m intrigued by getting into people’s minds and listening to their perspectives on life because it expands my understanding. So I decided to randomly ask 25 people (male and female, minorities and majorities) what they planned on saying NO to in 2020 (and of course I included my response in the bunch). I wasn’t seeking any new year’s resolutions from my subjects. Instead, my goal was to see what they plan to disassociate themselves from as a result of their 2019 experiences. I didn’t give them a topic nor did I tell most of them their responses would be on my blog. I just popped the question during casual conversation, and you better believe the answers were not only organic - but interesting to say the least.

I know what some of you may be thinking - why focus on what you’re going to say no to instead of what you are going to say yes to? I get it. But isn’t saying no to some things kind of the same as saying yes to some things? For example, if I vow to say no to processed sugar for 2020, doesn’t that actually mean I’m saying yes to a somewhat healthier way of eating? Yup, it does. So put your positive police badge down for a second and get into these very entertaining and insightful responses below. You may be inspired to incorporate some of these answers in your 2020 journey.

“What will you be saying NO to in 2020?”

S.J - “I’m saying no to procrastination.”

M.B. - “Settling.”

J.J. - “A circle that’s not beneficial.”

M.M. - “Fuckery!”

B.R. - “I’m saying no to people who steal my good energy.”

T.G. - “I’m saying no to spam emails…..hitting that unsubscribe button with the quickness!”

K..L. - “I’m saying no to yesterday.”

M.S. - “I ain’t saying no to nothing unless it’s something I need to say no to.”

T.S. - “Anything that no longer suits the life I want to live.”

H.L. - “You.”

J.K. - “I’m saying no to brownnosing to make insecure adults feel good. Their self-esteem is their job.”

Y.H. - “Events without food.”

T.R. - “Social media bandwagons.”

C.S. - “I’m saying no to standing in my own damn way!”

A.C. - “Broke men!”

C.R. - “I’m saying no to people who want to vent without being constructive.”

B.S. - “This job and bacon.”

P.S. - “I’m saying no to being impatient. We can mess up the process when we move too fast and don’t let things take root.”

N.B. - “Unhealthy food….it’s time out for that shit.”

T.G. - “Cheap liquor.”

R.E. - “Feeling the need to laugh at not-so-funny jokes so things won’t get awkward.”

S.S. - “People pleasing, I’m done trying to make people comfortable while making myself uncomfortable. Oh, and I’m also saying no without an explanation in most situations. No means no, and that’s all you need to know.”

W.H. - “I’m saying no to group texts that I didn’t ask to be a part of.”

D.F. - “I’m definitely saying no to playing small and to anything that doesn’t serve me.”

G.J. - I’m rebuking ice-cream in 2020. It’s the devil! Okay….no I’m not, Guess I need to say no to lying in 2020, huh?”

And there you have it, 25 things from 25 people that are being thrown out of the window this year. May your 2020 be filled with all the peace and more blessings than you can stand!

Outfit Details: Retired Hot Girl Sweatshirt

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Act Like You Know Better

Remember when our mothers used to warn us against touching hot stoves? We knew our mothers were telling the truth, but curiosity got the best of us so we had to touch the stove to see for ourselves. And when we touched it, we discovered what we already knew - that the stove was the temperature of hell. We knew better, but our carnal side won the battle. And it oftentimes still does. In 2019 I touched a few hot stoves against my better judgment. I made some moves that put me in some great positions and some moves I knew better than to make but did it anyway, and you better believe I paid the tolls for those decisions. So if someone were to ask me what’s the one thing I plan on doing in 2020 as a result of my experiences in 2019, I’d proudly answer them by saying, “I plan on “acting like I know better.”

If 2019 showed me nothing else, it definitely showed me that my past lessons, wisdom, and intuition are definitely my most promising guides. The consequences of not acting on the knowledge I possess cost me a lot of time and energy that I can’t afford to carelessly give away in 2020. I’m competent enough to know (in most cases) what actions produce favorable and unfavorable results, and I’m not only just holding that knowledge in my head in 2020, I’m acting on it as well.

Life is rolling, and it’s time out for games, serial mistakes, people who drain you, unhealthy relationships and food, uncomfortable jeans, procrastination, no sleep, immaturity, etc. Most of us are at the point now where we’ve gotten a few life experiences under our belt and as a result, we know what makes us happy, what makes us crazy, what’s good for us, and what isn’t. Of course we won’t get it right all the time, and we can’t control everything that will happen in life - but for the stuff we can control we need to exercise the wisdom that we’ve gained from our previous life experiences.  We always hear people say “look for the lesson in everything,” and I totally agree with this perspective. But let’s not only look for the lessons in everything, let’s implement what we’ve learned from those lessons. Because learning something new is half the battle, but exercising what you’ve learned is winning the war. Let’s not only say we are going to do better in the new year, let’s act like it.

“When you know better, you do better.”

— Maya Angelou

Happy Holidays S&E Family! Whatever you normally do during this time of the year, make sure you incorporate a little relaxation and reflection into that routine. We all need it. I’ll holler at you guys soon!

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Outfit Details: Vintage Leather Coat // Vintage Jeans // White Booties

The Briefing

I’ve been in three different cities in the last week. I have two different cities to visit in the middle of this week and one next week. Tired doesn’t adequately describe how I feel right now, but I’m pushing through because I know there’s something on the other side of this grind that will be more than rewarding for me and the people in my circle. Because I urgently need some rest and relaxation in my life, I’m not going to keep you all long. I’m laying out a somewhat quick summation of what I’ve been moved by and feeding off of the last two weeks in hopes of passing on some good information to you guys. Let’s jump into the briefing below.

What I’m Currently Feeding My Mind - Podcasts have been getting me through these road trips and grind sessions. I religiously tune into the David Banner Podcast for good laughs and enlightening information. Banner and his crew love to kid around often on the podcast, but they haven’t failed me yet when it comes to interviewing interesting guests and providing solid motivation. The other day I listened to his two-part interview with rapper, songwriter, and music producer THE D.O.C. I literally soaked up every word! His story was inspiring and unique. He talks about his tumultuous, yet triumphant journey through his career, how his spirituality has evolved because of it, and how he learned from life’s ebbs and flows. He even touched on him and my girl Erykah Badu’s relationship! Check the episodes out here…. (part 1 and part 2) - at the least you’ll definitely be entertained.

Another podcast that has my attention is a series called Making Beyoncé on WBEZ Chicago. It tells the story of Beyoncé’s career from her childhood to her adulthood. You’ve probably heard Bey’s story a hundred times before, but this is a little different. The perspective of this story comes from the people she encountered in the music industry, her past group mate, and her father. Listening to this podcast was uplifting and empowering. It inspired me to keep going even when everything around you says stop. You can say what you want about Beyoncé, but you can’t say that woman hasn’t earned her accolades. Check it out here.

Some Good Advice I Received - I was letting my playlist do its thing while driving the other day, and it pleasantly surprised me with an oldie but goodie - Feng Shui by Gnarls Barkley (hadn’t heard this album in a minute - man I miss good, eccentric music). As soon as the lyrics started coming through the speakers, my attention was peaked…..“In this house the decor is the obvious obscure. See clearly the theory of less is more………..and you’re welcome to stay, but even your company must complement the feng shui.” I’ve been on this “less is more” lifestyle lately, and it’s very cleansing - so hearing this song was like a sign assuring me that I was on the right path. I’m clearing out unnecessary things in order to feel lighter. And when I heard Gnarls’ line “even your company must complement the feng shui,” I realized that not only do I need to clear some things out of my head, heart, space, etc., I also need to make sure the people who surround me or who try to come in my house ( i.e. my heart, my life, my space, etc.) must match my vibe and energy. Thanks Gnarls.

What I’m Working On - Another thing I’m working on besides clearing my space is moving to my own beat. I’m extremely conscious and focused on making sure almost everything I’m doing is aligned with my wants, aspirations, and needs. When it’s all said and done, I want to make sure I lived my life for me and no one else. I want to be able to take full responsibility for all of my choices and actions. I want to do things not because others think I should, but because I choose to. My goal is to continue to operate in authenticity - no matter how that looks.

My Quote Of The Week - “The truth bangs harder. We learn that the more we tell it.” - Saul Williams - It isn’t always easy to tell or live in truth, but it is extremely liberating when we do it - EXTREMELY.

My Current Fashion Obsessions - I am totally into my white boots. I purchased an off white pair (that I still wear) last year, but this year I’m into the whitest of the white boots. They pop so well with dark colors, and there’s something about them that polishes up a look and gives it a crisp vibe. Check out how I styled my white booties below.

Oh, I’m also digging my Teddy Coat from Shein. It’s so comfortable and warm! It also adds a funkiness to any look whether it be a dressed up or down look. Check that out below as well.

Picture Credit: Felicia T. Simpson

Picture Credit: 87 Photography

Until the next time,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Black Jumper (available in-store only) // Black and White Earrings (available in-store only) // White Booties // Teddy Coat // Dr. Martens Patent Leather Boots // Fanny Pack

Clear Your Plate First

It’s Thanksgiving, and my mother’s famous dressing is calling my name. When I was younger, I couldn’t wait for the holidays to roll around because I knew some good cooking was in order. My mother would reach deep down in her southern/western roots and turn the kitchen out on holidays like Thanksgiving. We would have all kinds of food like mustard greens, rolls, fresh green beans, Cornish hens, fried turkey, potato salad, etc. and my one of my favorite desserts - sweet potato pie. I would rush to the kitchen as soon as I heard the “food is ready” announcement. I would see the spread of eats propped on the counter, and my eyes would widen with anticipation. My stomach would literally growl at the smell and sight. I would snatch my plate off the counter and commence to piling every entrée and side dish I saw on it. When I felt I had everything my tummy desired, I would head to the dinner table so the feasting could begin. And right when I was about to lift the fork to my mouth, I would see my brother or father come to the table with a dish that I must’ve overlooked. Not wanting to leave any food unclaimed, I would jump right back up from the table to go grab the omitted dish. But before I could wrap my little hand around the serving spoon to get my gigantic helping, my mother would catch me and say, “Sam, eat what’s on your plate first then see if you have room for something else.”

Yup, my eyes were definitely bigger than my stomach as a child. And it seems I sometimes still suffer from that same issue today when it comes to work. I’m learning all over again to “eat what’s on my plate” before I take on another dish. The last few months have had my head spinning in multiple directions, and it’s all my fault. You see, I’ve been enticed by the dollars that have been sitting on the counter waiting to be grabbed and that has led me to take on project after project. And when it’s all said and done, I’m left with a plate full of food and no appetite.

You know how you feel when you overeat? That’s how taking on more than I can handle feels to me. It’s like I’m continuously pushing food in my mouth even though I’m already chewing on a wad of bread - it’s pure gluttony. Having too much on plate results in me stuffing myself which then turns into exhaustion, regret, and heaviness. I’m also not able to give each task/dish my undivided attention because I’m constantly thinking about the next task/dish and trying to clear my plate in a hurry so I don’t miss out on anything else. I’m definitely learning my lesson though, and all it took was for me to reflect on that simple directive my mother gave to me in the kitchen on holidays. When I begin to clear my plate before I take on any other tasks, I’m able to be more focused, take my time, and produce my best work. I’m no longer letting my greed overpower my needs. I eat what I have and only get seconds if there’s room.

Eating what’s in front of me,

- Samjah Iman

Wishing everyone a very happy and safe Thanksgiving! I’m grateful for each and every person who has visited and will visit this blog and those who leave comments. I sincerely appreciate you all!

P.S. - Oh and yes that is a coat that I wore as a dress….hey, a girl has got to be innovative with this fashion thing, you feel me?!

xoxo

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Outfit Details: Vintage Leather Coat // Black Leather Booties (Zara, sold out - similar here)

Adjustments

The weather here in Louisiana does whatever the hell it wants to do. One day you’re pulling out your shorts and sandals in anticipation of a festival, and the next day you’re wrapped up like rice and beans in a burrito. Just this past weekend I was rocking leggings and a top sans coat, and yesterday I had on almost every clothing article I own in an effort to block the chill. Even though this unpredictable forecast makes it hard to plan ahead when it comes to outfits, I don’t complain. Because being a life-long Louisianian, I’m used to the inconsistent weather (especially during this time of year). And as I was turning off my air conditioner (once again) the other day preparing to adjust to the cold, I thought about how such is life - adjustments.

I no longer wait for life to adjust to me, I adjust to it. If life throws me a little more than what I ask for, I get a bigger glove to catch it all. If life wants to take its time, I slow down and rest right along with it. Not adjusting to life’s shenanigans and going against the grain when everything else around you is changing is like refusing to wear a coat in 20 degree weather because you’re mad the temperature dropped…a total unnecessary struggle.

Making adjustments is a part of life. They aren’t always easy to do, but in order for us to get to the next level, we must constantly adapt and adjust. In most cases I’m faced with two choices when a situation arises- I can either complain that it’s happening, or I can adjust my vibrations/position/attitude to adapt and move forward. Of course the complaining won’t get me anywhere, but the adjustments eventually will. Because with each adjustment comes a little more strength, a little more perseverance, and a little more wisdom. It’s just like playing chess or a sport. If your opponent (life) makes one move, you don’t just stand there and complain because they did it, you make a move too. And the more moves you make, the better you get. And the better you become, the more victories you’ll have.

“The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails.”

— John Maxwell

Adjusting,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Top (Zara, in store only) // Jeans // Hat // Mules

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Are You The Composer?

I’ve been having a few conversations with my loved ones about living authentically and how important, yet rare it is for some people to do. The convos forced me to juxtapose my vision with the vision society/social media says I should have. I thought about the businesses Instagram tells me I should be starting and how hard I should be hustling. I thought about the standards being forced in my face everyday. I thought about where society/social media says I should be at my age, then I thought about the goals I have for myself. All of my thinking prompted me to ask myself if my vision was solely mine or one that had been cultivated by all the propaganda thrown at me daily. What portion of my dreams comes from my true desires and what portion comes from societal/social media ideologies? I thought deeply about my likes and dislikes, my wants, my aspirations, etc., and I’m slowly coming to this conclusion…..I don’t have to have half of the stuff society/social media says I should want. I’m good with living the simplest life if that means I get to live in my truth.

We are currently in a time where if you’re not striving for a certain type of relationship/family, constantly traveling all over the world, owning your own business, buying over-the-top houses, fancy cars, or living lavishly - you’re viewed as unaccomplished. So many people are being enveloped by society’s/social media’s perception of life that they aren’t in touch with their own aspirations anymore. When was the last time you stopped and asked yourself what type of life you really wanted? What makes you really happy? That’s the phase I’m currently in. I’m trying to weed out the noise in order to make sure my life is aligned with what I deem as happiness, not someone else’s definition.

Believe or not, I’ve tried living out other people’s fantasies for my life. And each time I did it, you better believe it didn’t prosper. I tried the “let me work this job that doesn’t nurture my talents but it’s secure” phase, and it eventually led to a breaking point. I tried the “everyday I’m hustling” and “let me try to own several businesses” phase, and since that wasn’t what was in my spirit - I was constantly burnt out, stressed, and uninspired. It wasn’t until I got totally real with myself and my desires that I discovered the world’s standards don’t fit my vibe at all, but my truth (no matter how simple it may be) brings me harmony. I don’t have to have a thriving business, a luxurious vehicle, or the biggest bank account in the world. I just have to have my type of fulfillment. And for me, that doesn’t come from living how society/social media says I should, it comes from living how I want to live.

Are you the composer of your life or just the translator of the song someone else wrote for you?

In my truth,

- Samjah Iman

Style Tip: Blazers are one of the most convenient staples you can have in your closet. They can be dressed up or down, and they can spice up any mediocre look. Get you some blazers asap! The Goodwill has plenty of them for super low prices!

Outfit Details: Vintage Blazer // Vintage Gucci // Short Jumpsuit // Adidas

Photo Credit: 87 Photography

Asking Myself This One Question Is Changing My Trajectory

I read a particular article not too long ago that totally gave me a “wow” moment. This simple article was about a lady who was seeing a therapist because her marriage was on the rocks. She was distraught and confused about her situation until her free-spirited therapist (as described in her article) asked her this one question….”What would you do about this situation if fear wasn’t in the equation?” Immediately after the sentence left the therapist’s mouth, the lady said she knew exactly what her answer was and what she needed to do. My mind was consumed by reflection after reading that article. I thought about how fear is the focal point of a lot of decisions being made or not being made. I then asked myself, “Sam, what would you be doing right now if fear wasn’t a part of the equation?” Listen…..I came up with about 20 different things without even thinking twice.

People are always talking about how fear is the reason most aren’t achieving their grand goals. But what’s not often discussed is how fear possibly governs even the smallest situations in our everyday lives. To put it plainly, some of us are basically scared of rejection, outcomes, and consequences not just regarding the major things, but the minor things as well. For instance, sometimes we won’t say what we feel because we are afraid a person will stop speaking to us or take our feelings the wrong way. Sometimes we won’t make that call because we are scared the other person won’t answer. Some of us are scared to rest because we fear someone will outdo us or something won’t get done so we work ourselves to death. Some of us are scared that life won’t turn out how we want it to so we rush into doing things. Some of us are scared of not having enough of whatever we need so we become physical and emotional hoarders. Some of us are scared that others will think the worst of us so we put up fronts. Fear is taking the wheel in a number of situations in our lives, and it’s time to pull the car over and switch drivers.

After reading the article, I incorporated that question into my everyday actions. When a dilemma arises, no matter how big or small, I ask myself what I would do if fear wasn’t in the equation. In most situations, the answer comes to me faster than I can blink. Asking myself this simple, yet powerful question has helped me discover more of my truth. I now know the main reason behind some of my actions and setbacks. And now that I know what the exact issue is….the real work is about to begin. Because knowing what you need to do is one thing, actually doing it is a whole other (and baby, that’s an entire post for another day…whew child).

Negating Fear,

- Samjah Iman

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