Who Are You Asking?
I came into this world extremely sure of myself. As a kid, you couldn’t tell me I wasn’t a supernatural being and that skittles didn’t fuel my superpowers. Then life began to happen, and I allowed certain situations and people to continuously chip away at my self-assurance. When I finally woke up, I went into overdrive repairing what had been damaged within myself. And just when I thought my self-love was back to a healthy level, something or someone would come right along and challenge that belief. I then realized that the work I was doing was a constant effort. And while I couldn’t control some of the challenging circumstances that were sure to come, I could control two things - my reaction to the circumstances and my tribe (as I have been recently reminded). Keep reading my babies.
Y’all know I have to hear most things a few times (and in different ways) before they are embedded in my psyche. And on this past Mother’s Day weekend (shout out to all the mothers!), I got the “aha moment” I needed. My entire soul was fed while watching Angela Davis and Nikki Giovanni talk their talk, live, on Girl Trek’s Facebook page (and I caught Jill Scott and Erykah Badu’s live music exchange on Instagram…LAWD last weekend was one for the books!). I had my notebook on my lap, my pencil in my right hand, and my semi-full wine glass in my left. Class was in session, and I was soaking it all up! Every other second I was yelling “Go Girl!” at my cell phone screen. The entire discussion was fulfilling to say the least, but there was one statement from Nikki G that hit me right in my gut. One young, black lady joined the live conversation to ask the queens a question. I can’t remember her inquiry verbatim, but it was something to the tune of, “what do you two women do when people don’t see your potential or they don’t acknowledge your presence, or you don’t feel like you’re enough for certain groups?” After she asked the question, there was a split second of silence from everyone. Then Nikki G slightly leaned toward her webcam (or maybe I leaned in toward mine anticipating the answer…who knows) and said in her ‘I’m going to tell it like it is’ tone, “Who are these people you are asking? Who is your audience?” I almost threw my phone across the room. I stood up and had to take a few steps back. Nikki G asked the young lady again who these people were that she was seeking validation from. She then told the young lady (in so many words) that she not only needed to evaluate herself, she needed to evaluate her audience.
Yes we are responsible for the majority of the work we need to do on ourselves. But let’s not forget that the old adage “It takes a village to raise a child” not only applies to children, but adults as well. Just like it’s crucial to develop and market to your target audience for your business to grow, it’s also imperative that you develop and market to your target audience for your life to grow as well. I attribute a lot of my maturity to the hard work I put in daily to be a better me, but the people I choose to surround myself with have played an equally important part in shaping the person I am today. I can’t stress enough how surrounding yourself with people who are in favor of your mental, physical, and emotional well-being is instrumental to your growth. The people I’m referring to are not the ones who feed your ego or the ones who are only associated with you for their benefit. The people I’m referring to are the ones who sincerely want to see you sprout, who give you constructive criticism that is meant to propel you, and who encourage you along your journey. There have been plenty of times I’ve wanted the wrong audience to clap for me, to see my worth, to recognize my talents…..and that shit was draining and unproductive. Then when I began celebrating myself and submitting to my inner God….my audience changed for the better. Do y’all know that almost EVERY TIME I write a blog post I get an email saying someone unsubscribed? Years ago this would have caused me to question my abilities. But these days I’m aware that #1 - their unsubscribing does not validate or invalidate my purpose, and #2 - I’m only trying to perform for the audience who is in favor of this show. Everyone else can stand outside the venue.
Dwell where you are celebrated, properly corrected, and uplifted.
Check your vibe, then check your tribe.
Building a Dope Target Audience For My Life,
- Samjah Iman
Outfit Details: McDowell’s Tee // Peplum Skirt (old) // White Pumps // Lip Stick (shade, Hot Mama)