I got a few emails and messages regarding my Living Without Expectations post. It seems a few of my readers didn’t understand how one could not live without placing expectations on people and situations. Some thought it was absurd, others wrote that it was impossible. I get it. I once thought like that as well until I was blessed with insight. So for the sake of doing a good deed and paying the blessings I received forward, I’m going to try and explain this “no expectations” thing in another way for the folks that were looking at my post sideways.
For the women who messaged me and said they will never put up with their husband/boyfriend not coming home….#1. That was an example my friend gave me regarding his lack of expectations, and #2. Guess what? You don’t have to put up with any behavior that doesn’t sit well with you! Having no expectations doesn’t mean you have to take whatever. It simply means you will allow life to happen, and you will allow people to live in their truths. And if a situation or a person’s truth doesn’t align with your spirit…then you adjust accordingly. For example…say you go to a new restaurant and choose to try a new dish. You order this new dish, and you have no idea what it will taste like. You don’t expect it to be good nor do you expect the opposite. You just wait to see what will happen when you take that first bite. After a glass of wine, a half-eaten appetizer, and a convo with your friend about what you saw on social media, your dish is finally delivered to your table. You throw your napkin over your lap in anticipation of this new taste, and as soon as you take your first bite, you discover it tastes like dirt. So because you didn’t have any expectations on this dish, should you sit there and continue to eat it? NO! You can politely send the dish back where it came from. It’s the same with people. When you meet a person and get to know them without placing expectations on them - you give them the opportunity to reveal their true selves. And if their true self doesn’t align with your spirit….you don’t have to deal with them. You can politely send them back where they came from.
Now someone else hit me up about not having expectations when it comes to your goals. I’ll put it like this….I have a few goals that I aim to achieve. I have a plan to help me conquer these goals. However, I AM NOT MARRIED TO THE GOALS OR THE PLANS I HAVE. Look at it from this viewpoint…..say you have plans to go straight to the mall today once you’re done with your chores at home. On your way to the mall, a light comes on in your car indicating a low tire. So you pull over to put air in it. And while you’re doing that, your relative calls and asks you to stop by the grocery store for them. You agree. You then get in the car to head towards the mall and forget you left your wallet at home. You turn around to go back to get it and end up getting stuck in traffic. You eventually get your wallet, go to the store for your relative, and while at the store for your relative, you see another store that has what you were going to the mall to get and then some. Yes you ended up getting what you needed, but the journey didn’t look exactly how you EXPECTED it to look.
In the past I’ve mapped out several goals in my life, and my trajectory to each of those goals looked NOTHING like I thought it would. I’ve also set out to achieve a goal and while pursuing that goal, I discovered another goal that was more suitable which prompted me to drop the initial goal. Do you know how many people are depressed or have given up in life because their situation didn’t turn out how they EXPECTED it to or how they planned? Living without expectations allows you to be open to whatever comes your way….and when a situation doesn’t unfold in your favor you can keep it moving because your faith lies not in the outcome, but in the process.
Having no expectations doesn’t mean you live wildly while letting everyone disrespect you. It simply means you are open, and you allow the people in your life to live in their truth, which ultimately leads to you living in yours.