The other day I met a friend for some good conversation and tasty food. When ordering our menu selections, I asked the cashier a question and her response was short and condescending. My friend and I looked at each other in disbelief. To make sure I wasn't in the twilight zone, I asked another question....and received another nasty response. I chuckled...not because anything was funny, but because I was losing my patience and the neck rolling was about to commence. I looked at my friend. He shrugged his shoulders and laughed. I then shook my head and let it go.
We sat down at our table and discussed what just happened. My friend said, "that was an opportunity for us to look inward, not outward." I thought about his statement. He was right.
People will always act how they want to act and none of us can change that. However, what we can change is how we feel about their actions and respond to them. We have a choice in that matter. I'm learning that most of the confrontations we tend to encounter have a lot to do with our ego. Once we believe our ego has been bruised, we react. The only reason I was about to give the cashier a piece of my mind was because I feeling like, "how dare she talk to me like that!" Ego....that's all it was. Then I thought, "why would I let this young girl determine my actions and how my evening with my friend is going to go?" So instead of stooping to the cashier's level, I chose to take control of my feelings and let her have whatever moment she was having.
I'm trying this new thing in life where I don't blame other people for my actions or feelings. I am taking full responsibility for how I allow myself to feel and react to situations. A rude cashier at a restaurant shouldn't control my mood, a lunatic driving crazily in traffic shouldn't make me yell obscenities out my car window, nor should a frustrated customer service rep push me to lose my patience. Now of course I won't allow anyone to mistreat or harm me. Sometimes you do you have to let some people know where you stand. However, I will try not to allow any person to dictate my mood or make me react in a way I will regret later. I am in control of my world.....and absolutely no one will have the power to shake it up. No one!
In the maturing process,
- Samjah Iman
P.S. - If you haven't checked out the movie Black Panther please do so ASAP!! It's exhilarating! The characters were beautiful and talented, the fashion was exceptional and dynamic, and above all the message was powerful. I'm still in awe of that film! Go see it!