39 Challenging Lessons I'm Still Learning
I’m 39 years old today, and it is absolutely hilarious! I’m still trying to figure out how I jumped from worrying about keeping up with every style choice and dance move TLC (the popular 90’s R&B girl group) made, to cursing in my head while I’m at the grocery store because I literally have only 5 food items on the conveyor belt - and my total is $69.72!! Jesus! But no matter how tough, easy, or EXPENSIVE life gets - I’m grateful. I’m grateful that I’m here to experience all that the universe offers. Life has afforded me some beautiful lessons. Some were easy to learn while others are still being embedded in my psyche.
You may see the lessons I’ve written below next year….and maybe even the year after that. That’s because I am still learning. I will always be learning. My focus is not on mastering anything, it’s centered on giving myself grace as I cruise through the unpredictable waves of life because this experience is a journey, not a conquest. And with that written, below are my 39 lessons I’m still learning.
Blaming other people for your mishaps and poor decisions is futile. Learn from past mistakes, forgive yourself, move the hell on, and be prepared to make some new mistakes. That’s how you gain wisdom, Sam.
Trust God’s timing, it is PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every delay, every no, every not now is for a reason! Some times we will know the reason, some times we won’t. That is where faith comes in.
Your intuition is the most valuable asset you possess. Use it, use it some more, and use it again. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. The more you ignore it, the more faint it becomes.
Believe what he/she shows you, not what he/she says.
You’re always going to be learning. Gaining knowledge and wisdom never ceases. In fact, the more you know - the more confused you may be.
You only have a few friends…just a few. The older you get, the less you will have - and that’s okay.
Talk to your loved ones (especially your parents) as often as you can. They don’t stay around forever. You won’t either.
Always ask yourself if you are living for you or for someone else. Peer pressure is real and can distort even the most confident person’s view.
Save more money girl. Life is full a surprises and some of them cost a fortune (like grocery store trips *insert eye roll*).
Vulnerability is actually a sign of strength. Open your heart. It’s a courageous act.
This too shall pass.
Gather your thoughts before you speak in a heated discussion. It’s easier to do damage than to undo it.
Breathe…..just breathe. Take deep breaths. They really help.
Try to always operate in a state of gratefulness. The universe responds abundantly to that. It also helps make life a little easier.
Deep connections energize you. Keep seeking them.
Your alone time is non-negotiable. It revitalizes you. It nurtures your spirit. Don’t ever let anyone infringe upon that…..no matter how cute they are lol.
Understand that other people are fighting battles too. Sometimes their decisions have nothing to do with you but everything to do with their experiences, situations, fears etc. Get over yourself.
Don’t be afraid to take chances. At the least you’ll have an interesting story to tell.
Stop looking, and you’ll find it.
You are going to be pissed off at yourself in the future if you look back and see that you dimmed your light. To avoid a mid-life crisis, be who you are fully meant to be right now.
Listen more than you talk. Sometimes if you let the other person do the talking, you’ll learn everything you need to know without having to seek.
Check yourself often. Being self-aware is the most wise thing you can do.
Rest is spiritual….that is when you hear from God.
Continue to give things away for free. This could be advice, things you no longer need, a smile, a compliment, or a listening ear. It feeds your soul when you give. The reward is contentment.
Say no to anything that doesn’t serve you. Saying no (and sometimes saying yes) shows self-confidence.
Remember to put yourself on a mind diet often. Some things that aren’t mean to positively serve you can seep into your subconscious without you even knowing it. Monitor what you monitor.
Be okay with being misunderstood. Not everyone is on the same path as you and that’s okay.
Continue to exercise. Show God your appreciation for the temple you were blessed with by taking care of it.
Have a lazy day at least once a month. DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON THAT DAY! This revitalizes you and boosts your creativity.
It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers. Be confident in what you don’t know as well as what you do know. Also, it’s okay to be wrong. That’s how you learn.
It is not your responsibility to fix everyone. God loves them even more than you love them. So let God take care of them. You tend to yourself.
Don’t be afraid to start over. There are blessings in new beginnings.
Tell yourself the truth always, then be as honest as you can with others. The truth may be hard at first in some instances, but it saves you a lot of turmoil in the long run.
Read and travel as often as you can. These are two of the best ways to educate yourself.
Connect with nature more. Take walks, let the sun embrace you. This is therapy.
Remember that success is subjective. You don’t have to want what the world wants. Your success doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. As long as it’s fulfilling to you, that’s all that matters.
Try to do what’s right now so that you won’t have to pay for it later. A lot of people are still living with mistakes they made yeeeaaaarrrsss ago. Take heed.
Live out as many dreams as possible. If they don’t work out, so what? At least you can say you tried.
Focus on the good, and the good will multiply.
Peace and Blessings,
- The Birthday Girl
Outfit Details: Y’all, I have absolutely no outfit details on this look because everything is old! I purchased these pants from ASOS about eight years ago! The shirt I’m wearing is a long, white buttoned-down that I tied up, and the shoes came from Steve Madden years ago. Sorry!
Photo Credit: 87 Photography