Life Update: My Newest and Most Sacred Journey Will Begin Soon

Life has drastically changed for me over the past months. I’ve been giving myself the space to accept and fall in love with my latest blessing, and I’m still in awe of it all. I am currently 7 months pregnant!!!! As I type this I can’t believe it. I’ve had a whirlwind of emotions over the past several months during this new phase in my life, but the one I seem to come back to each time is gratefulness.

I’m so thankful. I’m thankful that I have been chosen to guide someone in this life as their mother. I remember when I used to sit and think about what motherhood would be like for me. Now it’s almost here, and I have to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. I know this task comes with a whirlwind of emotions, responsibilities, happiness, frustration, gaining patience, losing patience, worrying, etc. But a while ago, a friend said these words to me that I believe has helped shaped my view of this new parenting journey I’m about to embark upon. He said, “remember you aren’t raising a child to be in your house forever. You are raising a child to eventually go out into the world.” I held on to that advice. And with that mindset coupled with the wisdom I’ve collected from those who’ve gone on this journey before me, I will do my best to put a loving, aware, intelligent, considerate, independent, self-reflective, confident human being out in this world. Will I always get it right? Nope. But I plan to do the absolute best I can, and give it to my God when I can’t.

I chose to wait to tell the world about my pregnancy because naturally I’m a private person, and I wanted to allow myself the time to convene with God and my loved ones about this blessing first. I needed to take a moment and learn how to accept this blessing without questioning it or being fearful of the what ifs. I get that in a world where people constantly overshare most wouldn’t understand why I took my time revealing my news, but it’s not my responsibility to make others understand how I move. It’s only my responsibility to stay true to myself. This is one of the biggest faith walks I’ve ever taken, and the only voice I need to hear at times (besides my parent’s, close family, and my fiancé’s…yes I am engaged as well) is that voice inside of me - not the world’s.

And to my ladies who think they should be in a rush to have a baby because of their age or whatever, allow me to be your inspiration. I’m 39 and having my first child. I was able to live life on my terms for years before this moment. I was able to establish my writing career. I’ve traveled when I wanted to. I partied all night on several occasions. I slept in a millions times. I opted to eat cereal sometimes so I could buy expensive things. I had the luxury of thinking of myself only for as long as I can remember. So for me, this is the perfect time to dedicate myself to putting another decent human out in this world. While society did make me nervous about having children before my late 30’s, I didn’t allow the rhetoric to scare or rush me into anything that wasn’t for me. When it’s all said and done, I kept the faith in my decisions and did things my way. And I’m damn proud of myself for it too.

To be continued….

- Mama to be

Photos by @goldentimetay

Outfit Details: Nefertiti Necklace // Black Dress // White Heels