The Art of Waiting...

I consider myself a pretty adventurous, bold person to say the least. I’ve moved to another state with no job before. I’ve jumped on a stage and talked in front of hundreds of people. I’ve quit an eight-year job to live out my passion. I’ve started businesses. I’ve even traveled to foreign places by myself. It’s funny that I had/have the courage to do all those things and more, but when it comes to WAITING - I sometimes fall short.

If there’s something in my life that I’m waiting on whether it be extra income, a business to jump off, a house, new this, new that - I find myself getting pretty impatient and trying everything to make sure it comes to pass. I sometimes feel like I’m not hustling hard enough or looking for opportunities in the right places. But as soon as I shake that feeling, step back, and let everything unfold on its own - I’m reminded that letting go of a situation is just as valuable as working hard for it. It’s the divine intervention aspect of the process….the part when you allow a higher power to intervene.

“With waiting, comes learning. ”

— Unknown

I often notice that when I’m NOT looking for something, I find it or it comes to me. And when I’m looking super hard for something, it’s nowhere to be found or if I keep looking hard enough, I end up finding the wrong thing. This is where the art of waiting comes in.

Once you’ve made your needs and wants clear and have done everything in your power to bring those needs and wants to fruition, the best thing to do after that is nothing. Surrender, trust that it will all work out, then move on to the next thing. Taking your hands off a situation that you can no longer control is saying that you trust the Universe/God to work everything out accordingly. Waiting not only builds faith, it sets you up to receive exactly what’s meant for you to have.

While everyone is telling you to turn your hustle up since it’s October and there are only 90 something days left in the year, I’m telling you that if you’ve done all you can do, then wait. What’s meant for you will come to you.

Being still,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Green Jumper // White Boots (Urban Outfitters…sold out) // Vintage Dooney & Burke Purse

Keep Your Light On

I caught up with an old friend a few weeks ago, and we were discussing what was new on our journeys. This friend was obviously feeling stressed about the things happening in their life. They complained, they almost cried, and they even got angry when speaking about different incidents. When it came time for me to update this friend on the great things happening in my life, I hesitated. I was reluctant to share my blessings because their life wasn’t going as they had planned, and I didn’t want to come across as bragging….especially when they felt like crap.

So after the friend calmed down, they asked me how my life was going. Instead of me saying, “Everything is beautiful, and even my so-called bad days are far from horrible.” I hit them with my generic one-liner, “Same old, same old….just grinding.” I dimmed my light so that this friend could feel comfortable in their dark moment. I walked away from that meeting mad….not at the friend, but at myself. I asked myself what made me not want to share my happiness with my friend. “Am I trying to protect their feelings? Am I scared they will envy me because of the good things happening in my life? Am I trying to fit in?” I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. All I knew was that I didn’t like the fact that I diminished myself so that another person could feel better. And in that moment of truth, I came to the conclusion that I’M TIRED OF HIDING MY BLESSINGS AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS SO THAT OTHERS CAN FEEL COMFORTABLE ABOUT THEMSELVES AND THEIR LIFE TRAJECTORY.

A few weeks ago, I was in a low creativity space so I met up with a young lady who’s a dynamic worker and as a result, a millionaire. She was talking about all the moves she was currently making, and here I was in a creative rut feeling like I was going no where….but that didn’t stop me from listening to her story and soaking up everything. After meeting with her, I called my mother to fill her in on the good time I had. I remember saying to my mother, “it felt good to just receive her energy….it motivated me to keep going.” Because this young lady didn’t hold back on sharing her blessings (even while I was in an obvious stressful state), I benefited and got the push I needed to carry on.

I truly believe that people need to see other people succeeding so that they will know it’s possible to do the same. Letting your light shine is your way of appreciating the blessings that have been given to you, and it’s also a way of encouraging others to stay the course because their time is coming as well.

Don’t ever turn your light off to match someone else’s darkness. Leave your light on because #1, you paid the bill and deserve for it to be shinning, and #2, your bright light will act as a guide….helping others to find their way back home.

Illuminating,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Polka Dot Dress // White ankle-strap heels

All You Have to do is Just Be

As soon as you log into your email each morning or on your social media accounts, messages like get money, hustle hard, stay on the grind, hurry up and succeed, are pushed in your face.  I totally get those messages, am sometimes motivated by those messages, and have even emailed/posted those types of messages in the past as well.  However, I woke up the other morning and said that on that day (and the days to come) I will just be.  I won't be hard on myself, I won't try to overachieve, I won't let the world or internet rush me or tell me what success should look like. I will just simply just be present, do the work my way, and let the chips fall where they may. 

Sometimes we need to take all of that stress off of our shoulders from the world, get a clear picture in our heads of how success looks to us, and just be.  Be in the moment, be in spirit, be appreciative, be reflective, be content, be patient and everything will come together. Let the pressure of succeeding and the world go sometimes.  This is your own race, no one else's.  Just be.   

Outfit Details: T-shirt // Neon Pumps

Self-esteem isn't Enough....

I was having a conversation with my mother the other day about the ability to tell people NO.  She was telling me that some teenager stopped my 13-year-old nephew in the mall and asked to use his cell phone (which he would have probably ran off with), and without hesitation my nephew said, "No!"  I started grinning with pride as my mother continued the story.  I was so proud of him.  Reason being, saying no takes a lot of willpower....especially in a world full of brown-nosing and peer pressuring.  Hell....it's even hard for me to tell people no at times, and I'm grown. 

When my mother was done telling the story, I began talking about how I'm getting more and more comfortable with telling people no which in turn allows me to be more kind to myself.  After hearing me say this, my mother chimed in and said, "You know Sam, self-esteem without self-efficacy is nullified."  I said, "huh?"  She then broke it down for me.  "Self-esteem is what you feel, self-efficacy is what you do with that feeling  Self-esteem and self-efficacy must juxtapose.  The ability to say no comes with self-efficacy." Her statement hit me right between my eyes.  

I pride myself on having a healthy self-esteem, but there are times when I say yes instead of saying no for fear of disappointing someone.  In turn, I'm the one stuck with the stress and disappointment which is totally not cool.  This ends right now. 

I will continue to focus on feeling good about myself as well as making sure I'm exercising that feeling.  It's one thing to say you love yourself, and it's a whole other thing to show it. 

“Self-esteem without self-efficacy is dead. ”

— Big P

Don't just say you love yourself, act like you do. 

Peace and self-efficacy,

- Samjah Iman

Living Your Best Life: What The Internet Didn't Tell You

Me on a Saturday: Life is good!  I love it! *twerks*

Me on a Sunday: Life is cool man...it is what it is. *shrugs shoulders*

Me on a Monday: Life is aight...it could be better. *rolls eyes at the wall*

Me on a Tuesday: What the hell is wrong with my life?! *falls out on the floor*

Me on a Tuesday night: Everything will work out.  Be optimistic Sam. *meditates*

This, ladies and gentlemen is an accurate example of how my mind works at times on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis.  This also shows how controlling your thoughts, being the best person you can be, and living the best life you can live requires effort and constant practice.  The internet will have you thinking that once you declare you are "living your best life," everyday going forward will be a breeze.  Lies!  The moment you decide to be a better person, mate, parent, friend, think positive, forget about a negative person, drink more water, eat better, lose weight, or whatever else - it requires a conscious and daily effort FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  You don't just decide to change your trajectory or way of thinking and all of a sudden you're this new person.  You have to try hard on Monday, then Tuesday, then Tuesday night, Wednesday, then Wednesday around lunch time, Thursday.....you get the point.   

Everyday different situations are thrown at us from a variety of angles forcing us to put all that we said we were made of to the test.  I used to think that since I started viewing things from a mature perspective, I would automatically react different when life decided to throw a wrench in my plans.  This was far from the truth.  As soon as I was confronted with a situation, I found myself reverting back to my old way of thinking causing me to get frustrated with myself for not handling the situation like I thought I should.  But then I realized that just like anything else you want to be great at, living your best life and all that comes with it requires practice and training.  I'm constantly giving myself pep talks about situations or denying negative thoughts that come in my head.  Of course the more I do it the better I get at it, but I always slip up.  But the more I train, the easier it gets for me to bounce back from a slip up.  

I will never do everything right, say the most profound things all the time, or have nothing but positive thoughts running through my mind constantly.  But what I will do is make a daily effort to work towards being that person.  No one will be totally perfect when it comes to navigating life, but with conscious effort and daily practice - we can definitely become damn good at it. 

Working hard everyday to live my best life,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Stripe Blazer // Brooklyn Circus T-shirt // Off-white Booties (Urban Outfitters, sold out) // Vintage Levis

Just Be Sure to Have Fun

I never cease to amaze myself.  Not because I'm some supernatural human being who gets it right all the time, but because I am always jumping out there and doing stuff that I'd never thought I'd do.  So last week, I acted in a pilot for a summer love series.  I'm laughing right now as I type this because I still can't believe I did it.  Acting has never been on my goal list, but when the opportunity came, I sized it up, contemplated, consulted wise counsel, then said f**k it...why not?.  

When I got the email from the director of the film, my first reaction was, "nah, that's not me....I'm good."  So I respectfully decline.  But the director (getshotbyagirl) was persistent.  So I looked at her previous work and was impressed.  I contacted my advisory board (my people lol), and they all said go for it.  One of my board members particularly said, "just do your best and have fun."  And I took that simple advice to heart.  I showed up to the set all chipper and unprepared with no lines memorized and absolutely no knowledge about acting whatsoever.  When my turn came, I channeled my inner Angela Bassett, gave my all, and made sure I enjoyed every moment of it - even the bloopers.  Almost six hours and 900 acting attempts later, the film was a wrap....and I had once again tried faith and won.   

I went home that night (or morning) feeling good not because I gave an Oscar-worthy performance, but because I enjoyed myself.  Going into new territory always makes me a little uneasy and this time was no different.  But what really helped me conquer this experience was my attitude about just having fun.  Life is but a blink of an eye, why not enjoy ourselves as much as possible while we live it?  

I'm not sure when the series will be released, and I'm actually not tripping either.  I'm just enjoying the different roads life is placing in my pathway.  Acting surely wasn't a road I asked for, and I have no idea where it will lead.  My goal is just to trust the One who does and have fun while doing so.  

Currently smelling the roses,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Black Dress // Heels (Steve Madden, very old lol)

He's in the Neighborhood

Have you ever looked out your door or window in anticipation of an important package from the mailman, and all of a sudden you see him pull up to your neighbor's house to deliver their package so you get excited because you know he's on the way to your house eventually?  That's exactly how I feel when my close friends receive blessings.  

There used to be a time when a friend of mine would come into a huge blessing, and I would be happy for them....but I'd ask God, "when is my blessing coming?" or "I work hard too, why didn't I get that blessing?"  Then it dawned on me, I'm His child just like my friend is.  And whatever He does for one of His children, He is capable of doing for the others in due time.  Because I am associated with positive people (my friends), their energy rubs off on me.  We hold each other accountable and keep each other on the correct path.  Therefore, we are abundantly blessed (in different ways) usually during the same season because we operate on similar, positive wavelengths....or in this case, we're in the same neighborhood.  

So from now on when a friend calls me with great news regarding a huge blessing, my heart instantly fills with joy not only for them. but also because I know this - He's at their house today delivering their package which means He's in my neighborhood....and one day soon, He's going to be at my front door with my gift.  

Rejoice....even when He's just in the neighborhood,

- Samjah Iman

I absolutely adore this African Print dress!  It was a special gift, and it's available at Raydarten.com.  My comfortable yellow mules are from Shoe Dazzle.  My leather clutch comes from here.  Happy Shopping! 

Faith is a Muscle

I used to be the person who declared I had faith because it was what I was supposed to do.  Claiming faith was an integral part of my culture, and I learned from years of Sunday school to profess it every time I dealt with hardship or to lend it as advice when someone else was going through something.  But what my culture and Sunday school teachings didn't stress was that faith was a muscle, and the only way for it to get stronger was to exercise it.      

If I work my muscles out often, they will automatically get stronger.  I will be able to lift things I couldn't lift before, my stamina will increase, and I'll feel more healthy and energized.  But if I don't use my muscles at all, I'll lose them.  It's the same with faith.  

I can recite the "faith of mustard seed" scripture until I am blue in the face, but if I'm not exercising that faith, then I really have none.  I wasn't aware of how faith truly worked until I just jumped out and totally depended on it.  And when I didn't sink after jumping out there, I decided to do it again and again.  And each time my faith muscle grew stronger.   

I'm no longer throwing the word faith around or quoting faith scriptures because it's the appropriate thing to do, I'm out here living it, testing it, and seeing what it's worth.  And while I'm still growing in the faith exercising aspect, I can tell you this - the workouts are coming in handy, and I haven't encountered a situation yet that my faith couldn't strong arm.  And for this reason alone, I'm staying in the gym.   

Flexing,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: African Print Tee // Jeans (vintage) // Red Heels (sold out)

Life is Something like Football

Today I thought about all of the obligations/work I had in front of me, and it made me want to sit down in the middle of my floor and not move until winter.  I called my mother and told her that I felt like throwing a fit.  In true Big P (her nickname) form, she recited a quote.  

“Inch by inch, life’s a cinch. Yard by yard, life’s hard.”

— John Bytheway

She went on to compare life to a football game.  She stated that it's very rare to make a touchdown on your first attempt - which is why a team is given four tries to gain only 10 yards.  Each inch counts and plays a crucial role in getting the team closer to those 10 yards and then closer to the end zone. 

I got it.  Day by day and inch by inch is the best way to live this life.  If I look at my end zone from 100 yards back, I'll definitely get overwhelmed and maybe even discouraged.  But if I celebrate each inch as progress, then gaining yards and reaching my end zone becomes way less stressful and more attainable.  As I wrote in my Here and Now post, looking too far in front or behind can be stressful, but concentrating only on what we can cover in a day or moment makes life that much more doable.    

Conquer the inches, my people.  Don't trip on the yards.  

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Picture Credit - michaelsentino.com

Outfit Details: Leggings (sold out) // Sports Bra // Cap // Jordans

When They Copy You...

I got a DM (direct message) the other day from a young lady who wanted my opinion.  She wrote that her friend sometimes criticizes what she is doing or wearing or doesn’t acknowledge it and then turns around and copies her.  I chuckled when I read her message because this situation sounded all too familiar. 

I get it.  I, too, have an associate who likes to imitate mostly everything I’m doing.  I’m honored that anyone would ever want to mimic my moves.  I love inspiring and have been inspired by many people so imitating isn’t the issue.  I believe the frustrating thing about this is when someone habitually copies everything you do, it feels like a violation to your personal creativity - almost like they are trying to steal your entire existence.  

““Celebrities get copied all the time, that’s one of the traits that makes them valuable. Having said that, celebs don’t necessarily have to be directly exposed to others’ copying them. When a friend does it, it can feel more like a betrayal than a compliment, because friends are supposed to admire each other, yet simultaneously maintain their own sense of identity.””

— Dr. Robi Ludwig

As frustrating as a friend/associate who copies your every move may be, the truth is there's not a whole lot we can do to stop them.  Some people who are chronic copycats probably possess self-esteem issues or haven't found their own lane just yet, and they don't know how to use the inspiration they get from others and tailor it to fit their swag.  

I responded to the young lady and explained that I understood firsthand what she was going through.  I told her she could either take it as flattery, switch her style up, or maybe address the issue in a mature way. 

The one thing this young lady and all of us who are going through this need to remember is there's only one of us.  People can imitate us, but it won't be the same because it isn't authentically them. 

As my wise counsel once told me regarding my habitual, copycat situation – “If they are following you, they will always be behind you.”  So to those dealing with this, keep doing you and doing it well; give your protege a tough act to follow.

Outfit Details: Lace Cropped Top (sold out) // White Fig Trousers // Leather Clutch 

Here and Now...

During the last two weeks, my focus has been on staying in the here and now.  I've been doing an exercise that involves me immediately shifting my mind back to the current moment when I catch myself thinking about what has happened or what could happen.

I've always been an in-the-moment kinda gal in most instances, but I never fully realized how important and peaceful staying in the moment actually was until I had an "ah ha" moment while reading an Erykah Badu article some months ago.

In an interview with Vulture.com, Miss Badu was asked what made her nervous.  Her answer went like this.....

“I’m over being scared. When I feel the heart rate going or the palms getting sweaty, I start looking for the silence. And when I’m calmed down, I realize I’ve been thinking about the past or the future, which is not even here. I just come back to the moment.”

— Erykah Badu

I almost did a holy dance after reading Erykah's response.  What she said really helped me pinpoint my stressful moments.  Whenever I begin agonizing or worrying, it's usually over something that has already happened or has yet to happen.  It's very seldom about what's going on in the moment. 

As my grandmother says quite often, "don't trouble trouble, until trouble troubles you."  Don't rob yourself of a moment because you're worried about what might happen next Friday or what someone said or did last Monday. Try to stay in the moment and deal with things as they come.  

Taking a deep breath, relaxing, and chanting the words here and now has truly helped me out during stressful moments.  I plan to continue on this path and remind myself daily that I can't get the past back and the future isn't guaranteed.  All I can control is what's happening here and now. 

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

P.S.  I got this jumper from Free People off the sale rack, therefore it's no longer available (sorry!).  It was more than 75% off because it was torn, but I purchased it anyway (don't sleep on buying defective merchandise for more than half off the price!).  Thank you Ms. Michelle for fixing and tailoring this jumpsuit to perfection! xoxo

When I'm Consistent, The Universe Responds

I'm often asked what my end game is.  When I'm introduced to people, and we discuss our passions/careers, they always end up asking me what I would like this blog to ultimately turn into.  About a month ago I linked up with some accomplished colleagues who enthusiastically discussed their future entrepreneurship "end game" plans while we ate lunch.  Everyone took turns revealing their blueprint to success, and when my turn came to discuss my "end game" I simply said, "I don't have one. I'm just doing what I love and floating."  Of course that wasn't the answer they were looking for, but it was my truth.  I didn't and still don't have an "end game."

After the lunch encounter, my mind became occupied with the whole "end game" situation.  I was thinking that maybe I should have some sort of plan for this blog and my fashion.  Yes I love writing/reading and wouldn't mind being an editor/content manager for a popular magazine one day.  I also love fashion and wouldn't mind becoming a buyer for a savvy clothing brand as well; however, I wouldn't consider the aforementioned aspirations my "end game" goals.  I called my loved one to discuss the "end game" plan thing, and as I was talking, it came to me....I said, "you know what, scratch this whole convo, I don't have to search for an "end game" goal, it'll be revealed sooner or later."  

“When I’m consistent, the universe responds.”

— Samjah Iman

The growth of this blog had a lot to do with me being consistent and having a true affinity for my work - and in turn, the universe opened up many doors.  When you do what you are passionate about doing just for the sake and love of doing it, good things will eventually come.  This theory is tied to the whole "you get out of it what you put in it" truism.  I truly believe that if you are continuously sowing good seeds, doing the work, and putting positive energy in the atmosphere....good things will come your way and your "end game" goal will eventually fall in your lap.  When you love and nurture something, it has no choice but to grow.   

“Everything I’ve done has grown simply from refining and cultivating it as opposed to aiming it in a particular direction. ”

— Nesby Phips

I'm discovering day by day that it's okay to not have an "end game" plan all the time.  I remember Oprah once saying to just do what you love and the money will come.  Those words have sat in my pysche and heart forever.  I live by them.  As long as I continue to put my soul into my work and be as consistent as possible, I won't have to chase the "end game," it will find me.  

Trusting the process and letting the universe do its thing,

-Samjah Iman

Side Note:  I got this dress for a Girl Boss Dinner in Nola.  I was in need of cocktail attire, and I didn't want the ordinary look.  I contacted Washington Ave because I knew they would have a funky, unique vintage ensemble that I would like, and they did!  Shoes available here.  

Don't Blame Them, Check Your Self-Love Meter + Just Fab/ShoeDazzle Summit

My girl Marsha from Introvert N The City came to Nola for a conference last week, and we had the chance to catch up and kick it.  Riding through the bumpy streets of the Crescent City while eating snowballs, we discussed our past and other things we've encountered during our years of living.  We got on the subject of our exes, and Marsh made this statement, “All of the things I put up with while dating my ex shows how much I DIDN’T love myself.”  The choir started signing because church was about to commence.  I praised Marsha for her self-awareness and for making that mature declaration.  I thought about how we often refer to the people who mistreated us in our past as “no good,” “trifling,” “disrespectful,” etc. and they may very well be all those things, but what we don’t talk about is the lack of love we had for ourselves which, in turn, allowed those people to operate in our space.  

I’m totally guilty of not valuing myself enough at times in the past.  I look back at certain situations and I simply ask myself, “Sam, how in the hell did you allow yourself to go through that??”  I know now that some of it was a lack of self-love, and as the saying goes - when you know better, you do better. 

Self-love is not only treating yourself with the utmost respect, it’s also not allowing yourself (when possible) to deal with anyone or anything that doesn’t.  Self-love is staying away from negative people, exercising your mind and body, spending time alone, spending time with loved ones, eating the right things, meditating, detoxing, laughing, being kind to yourself, being kind to others, being in healthy relationships, etc. 

Before we blame someone or something for mishaps that have happened in our adult lives, let's all check our self-love meter and make sure it's operating on high.  

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Bardot Bell Sleeve Top // Just Float On Flare Jeans

Oh and one more thing....I was invited to speak on the Just Fab and ShoeDazzle panel for their ambassador summit in New Orleans, and it was sooooo fun!  What's so cool about this opportunity is that earlier this year, I wrote in my journal that I wanted to begin empowering people using other platforms and share my knowledge and experiences as a fashion blogger and writer on panels - and look what happened!!! Manifestation is real ya'll!! Check out some of the pictures from the event below.  

Of course Ma Duke showed up and supported as always! 

Kelli Saulny of styleandtaste.com and Cymande D. Ford of shopplusisaplus.com

Thank you to Just Fab and ShoeDazzle and all of the extraordinary women I met at this event!!! 

Photos by - sharonpye.com

Journal Entry: Check My Gratitude

June 5, 2018

Today I opened my Instagram app, and the first picture I saw was of a blogger I had been following for years.  She is fighting cancer.  When I saw her picture and read her caption, my heart sank.  She posted a picture of how she used to look before chemo treatments, and in her caption she wrote about missing who she used to be.  All she dreams of doing now are the simple things she took for granted before the cancer.  She longs to just be able to eat, run errands, and go to the gym.  I complained earlier about going to the grocery store and working out.  I feel embarrassed and ashamed.  Here she is praying that she could eat and run errands, and here I am, healthy, and tripping about doing both.  I'm getting my mind right real quick, and vowing to be grateful even for the littliest things.  I'm checking myself.   

Sam

I Quit Part 2 - The Update

It’s been over a year since I threw in the towel at my job of eight years and started out on this faith journey.  I’ll wait a few more months to give you the entire spill because the story is still unfolding, but for now I’ll tell you this – leaving my secure job is one of the most gangster things I’ve ever done!!

Before this experience, I never really exercised faith to the fullest.  Now I have a deeper understanding of what it means to have nothing but faith in your corner; and because of this new understanding, I have matured tremendously.

“It’s easy to be independent when you’ve got money. But to be independent when you haven’t got a thing – that’s the Lord’s test.”

— Mahalia Jackson

Below is a quick summation of the things I’ve learned after quitting my job to pursue my own endeavors.   

1. Your journey will not look like everyone else’s – Before I decided to leave my job, I researched blog articles on what to expect after doing it and talked to others who had done it.  While they all gave out great advice, most of it didn’t apply to my situation.  My journey was not theirs, and I learned quickly that I had to set my own parameters and do what was best for me. 

2. You question your choice – The week or so after I quit my job, I was pumped and dancing all over the house….a few months later I asked myself, “what in the hell did I just do?”

3. It gets scary – Depending on your business, brand, or savings, it can get a little frightening at some point because you’re going from a steady paycheck to depending solely on yourself to make money moves and sometimes not knowing when you’ll get paid or where the next check will come from. 

4. You’ll see the light – If you hang in there and keep striving for what you set out to do, you’ll eventually see the light.  When your mindset is in the right place, when you consistently put in the work, and when you have faith that it will all work out – it will.  It may not look how you thought it would look, but it will work out.   

5. You’ll be proud – Despite the tribulations you experience after leaving your job to pursue another career or your personal endeavors, in the end you will always be proud of yourself for making that bold move.  Leaving my job to pursue a career in writing (and other things) was one of the best decisions I've ever made.  No matter how hard it gets while on this journey, the mere thought of me going back to a place that doesn't allow me to do what I love and what I've been formally educated to do makes me shiver in anguish.  And that thought alone keeps me on the path I am on.

Stay tuned for a more detailed story later….believe me when I say it’s a rollercoaster ride that I haven't gotten off of yet! 

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Jumper // Slides 

5 Ways To Push Yourself to Do Absolutely Nothing

I know you read the title and was like, "huh".....but let me tell you, this here is serious business.  Doing absolutely nothing is an art that has been mastered by very few people.  It takes willpower to be a bum for a few hours.  I personally know this because whenever I get some free time, I have to talk myself into doing nothing, and then I find myself feeling guilty sometimes when I bum out.  But not anymore! 

We live in a time where messages like "hustle everyday," "no time off," "no sleep," or "sleep when I die" are constantly being planted in our psyche.  And my response to those messages is an elegant middle finger gesture.  Taking the time to rest our bodies and brains is imperative.  When we do so we preserve ourselves, we feel more energized, and are more productive when it is time to grind.  Currently I've been using my free time wisely, and I must say I'm getting good at doing diddly-squat.  If you want to join in on this movement, check out 5 Ways to Push Yourself to Do Absolutely Nothing below.    

1.  Get it in your mind that you deserve some time to just do nothing - Often times we feel guilty when it comes to being unproductive because society wants us to believe that we are always supposed to be on the go.  Get that out of your heads and remember this is your life.  You run your race at your own pace....and in order to run the race, you must rest. 

2.  Get your work done - I'm the type of person that likes to have everything done before I sit down....this way my list of "things to do" won't be on my mind while I am trying to rest.  Go hard during the week so that you can take a day on the weekend and do nothing.  Let "doing nothing" be your reward for a productive week.

3.  Pick a designated "me time" - Everyone in my circle knows when I am about to hibernate.  I call my loved ones to let them know I'm entering "Sam's world" and I'm about to shut my ringer off.  Pick out a time that you want to just do nothing and call those who usually ring your phone and let them know to take their crap elsewhere for the next hour or so....of course this excludes emergencies.    

4.  Get in the bed earlier - If I've had a long day with no personal time, I try to at least get in the bed earlier than my usual sleep time so that I can chill out and do nothing.  If I can't make myself sit on the couch for a few hours, surely I can make myself sit in the bed and do nothing before falling asleep.  

5.  Just do it - If all of the above fails, then just simply sit your butt down and do nothing!  You owe it to yourself!  The world will keep spinning if you don't cut the yard on a particular day, run that lap when you said you would, write that report, or wash those dishes.  Time is of the essence, and I wholeheartedly believe that we should do what we have to do to survive, but we should also do what we want to do as well.  

Bum out my friends, you deserve it.

- Samjah Iman

Happiness is a Choice

I used to think that reaching certain milestones in life like graduating, getting a good job, etc., equated happiness, and that I would automatically feel the happy emotion when I accomplished these things. And I did.... temporarily - and then after all the hoopla, I was back to searching for my next happy high. I was also once the girl who thought other people were responsible for making me happy, and some did, but when they disappointed me - I found myself searching for that happy high in another person. I was in an immature relationship in my late 20's, and I remember venting to my friend/mentor about it. I was going on and on about how the guy didn't make me happy all the time and blah, blah, blah.  And my friend casually said, "He's not supposed to make you happy, Sam.  You're supposed to come to the table being happy.  He's just supposed to add to that happiness." Click - the light in my brain came on. 

Happiness is a choice YOU make. It's an emotion that depends solely on what you've got going on internally.  It should not be circumstantial. No one thing or person can totally bring this emotion into your life or be able to take it away from you. Happiness/joy should be the home/kingdom of your heart. And you should prepare your home how YOU like it. Only you know how you like things to look in your home, how you like to feel when you're at home, etc. Yes, you can buy lovely new things for that home and people can come visit that home and add to its beauty, but if those things end up broken or those people decide not to extend their stay - your home doesn't go with them. Life may throw a curveball and your home could flood, the roof may come off, it may get broken into, or set on fire - but the foundation (i.e. happiness) should still be there.

No longer should we allow any person, circumstance, or thing to dictate our happiness. It's ours, and we have the power over it. So, let's choose this emotion as our foundation - the kingdom of our hearts, and everything else that comes along will be lagniappe.  

Choosing happiness,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details:

Polka Dot Wrap Dress (sold out similar, here) // Red Heels (sold out similar, here // She Who Has Happiness Painting

Unpacking

I remember a meaningful encounter I had while standing in the baggage claim area of an airport. Waiting for my luggage, I observed a man and lady standing beside me doing the same. The man held a small, black bag as he vigorously talked to the attractive lady whom, judging by their conversation, he had just met on their flight. The baggage alert sound went off during their conversation causing us all to divert our attention to the luggage carousel. When I spotted my white suitcase come around, I placed my carry-on bag on the ground, threw my huge purse over my shoulder, and got down in a sturdy squat (my Momma always tells me to pick things up using my legs to avoid straining) in order to drag the obese luggage off the belt. The man who was chatting with the lady noticed my struggle and immediately stepped up to assist me. He pulled my suitcase off the belt, turned to me and jokingly said, “Girl, is there a body in here??”  I smirked and began to give him a sassy response, but our encounter was interrupted by the lady he was talking to who was now struggling with her luggage. She hovered over the belt desperately trying to pull her heavy suitcase off as the man assisted her as well. After lifting two large suitcases, he caught his breath and said, “Ladies, unpack some of this shit next time! Ya'll pack too much! I just came back from out of the country, and all I had was this small bag!” I looked up at him like he had lost his mind. Didn’t he know I needed options when traveling? I need my entire bathroom plus “just in-case stuff” for the unexpected. Boy bye! He went on to say that all he packed for his trip were two pairs of pants, two shirts, a few toiletries, and he wore the shoes he currently had on the entire trip. The lady and I went into defense mode by saying that he was a man, and he didn’t need as much as we did. He cut us off and said that wasn’t a good excuse. He then said, “The less you pack, the less you need.” I thought about what he said, then I vowed to him that I would try the “pack light” method on my next trip.      

“Bag lady, you gone hurt your back. Dragging all them bags like that.”

— Erykah Badu

Months after that trip, I went on another voyage taking just one small bag. In this bag, I packed a pair of jeans (in addition to the jeans I had on), three shirts, a hat, my toiletries, and a pair of shoes (in addition to the shoes I had on). I was nervous about having packed such a small bag, but I went with the plan and made it out just fine. I felt light with my one bag. I wasn’t stressed about what I would be wearing each day, and because I didn’t have a lot with me, I didn’t create a need for much.

“Bag lady you gon’ miss your bus. You can’t hurry up, ‘cause you got too much stuff.”

— Erykah Badu

I took my packing light experience and applied it to life. The more bags/burdens I carry, the more I will need, and as a result - the more stressed I’ll be. Imagine we’re going on a journey (aka life), and at every stop on this journey we pick something up and put it in our bag. While on this journey, we sometimes pick up things that aren’t for us (other people’s problems), but we place it in the bag anyway. Sooner or later our load gets heavier which makes the journey that much more difficult, and we begin to drag. Now we're bitter because we've carried so much crap we didn't have to carry. Then our health goes down due to the physical and emotional strain caused by the unnecessary crap we've carried along the journey.    

“One day all them bags gon’ get in your way.”

— Erykah Badu

Some of us are still holding on to things that happened to us decades ago. Some of us can't' let go of pain caused by a loved one, a promotion we didn't get, a breakup, something someone said to us, etc. Then we take all of that baggage we've collected over the years and haul it with us everywhere we go - and then have the nerve to wonder why we continuously feel heavy. 

“Bag lady, let it go let it go let it go let it go - oh girl you don’t need it.”

— Erykah Badu

I'm not sure what y’all are going to do with the bags y’all carry, but I'm going to continue to follow Mr. Airport man with the small, black bag's advice. I'm unpacking some of this shit. 

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: MFND Tank // Yellow Pumps

Dear Secure Women....

It's not us - it's them.

I was invited to a networking event a couple of weeks ago, and I happily accepted the invitation. I arrived at the event, and everything was smooth. The people were colorful, the drinks were flowing, and the music was fitting. While sitting at the bar chatting with a colleague, I got the feeling that I was being watched.  I turned my attention to the opposite side of the bar, and my assumption was confirmed. A cute, petite lady with beautiful tresses kept glancing my way. My first thought was, "maybe she's seen me before or knows the young lady I am talking to." I was wrong. She knew neither of us.

Later during the event I crossed paths with Miss Cute and Petite, and we introduced ourselves.  We engaged in small talk about our brands and future plans, then we turned our attention to the other people who were in our circle. At the end of the event, everyone bid their farewells. Miss Cute and Petite gave everyone in the circle warm goodbye hugs, and she affectionately rubbed their backs. When it came time for our hugging exchange, she did something close to an air hug, barely touching me at all. It was a bold yet weird declaration, and I was stunned.  

I played it off and kept it moving, but the wheels in my mind began turning. "Did I unknowingly offend her earlier or something? No that can't be it because I barely talked to her. Did her boyfriend hit on me before?  Well, if that was the case his attempts were blocked so that can't be it either." I couldn't wrap my mind around someone being that intentionally trifling, and I hadn't dealt with that level of pettiness since high school. I just knew there had to be a method to her absurdity. I went over the incident in my head a few more times and then eventually came to my senses. It wasn't me. It was her.

Dear secure women, if you've ever dealt with shade, hate, jealousy, or pettiness from another woman - don't take it personal. It's not you, it's them. Self-love is an antidote. And when people lack it, they do sick things. Mostly every negative thing a person has done to you had nothing to do with you, but everything to do with how they felt about themselves. 

“Some of them, oh, they stab you in your back ‘cause it’s love they lack.”

— Jill Scott

To my secure women - keep smiling, keep striving, keep kicking, and keep shining. Don't for one second question your character because of a nonsensical act from an insecure being. Be who you are to the fullest, and if that makes someone uncomfortable then so be it. That's not your issue - it's theirs.  

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Graffiti Clutch Purse

My Biggest Stress Reliever

The one thing I do that helps me tremendously when I feel anxiety or stress is reminisce.  I begin recalling the past times I've felt defeated and how I overcame each time.  

It seems like whenever a stressful problem arises, I initially began to act brand new like I hadn't made it through anything.  Then I stop myself and say, "Girl did you forget about that time when blah blah blah happened.....and you thought it was the end but things suddenly turned around?"  Reminding myself of how I knocked down hurdles in the past gives me the courage to face any present opposition with confidence. 

The one thing that usually stresses us out in situations is uncertainty.  Not knowing how things will pan out can literally make us crazy.  But we must remember there were times in the past when we didn't know how we were going to overcome a tough situation - but we did.  The next time you find yourself tripping over your current status, think back to the stressful times you made it through, and I guarantee you'll feel a glimmer of hope.

Peace and Blessings,

- Samjah Iman

Outfit Details: Clutch // Vintage Blazer // Yellow Pumps