It's not us - it's them.
I was invited to a networking event a couple of weeks ago, and I happily accepted the invitation. I arrived at the event and everything was smooth. The people were colorful, the drinks were flowing, and the music was fitting. While sitting at the bar chatting with a colleague, I got the feeling that I was being watched. I turned my attention to the opposite side of the bar, and my assumption was confirmed. A cute, petite lady with beautiful tresses kept glancing my way. My first thought was, "maybe she's seen me before or knows the young lady I am talking too." I was wrong. She knew neither of us.
Later on during the event I crossed paths with Miss Cute and Petite, and we introduced ourselves. We engaged in small talk about our brands and future plans, then we turned our attention to the other people who were in our circle. After the event came to an end, everyone bid their farewells. Miss Cute and Petite gave everyone in the circle warm goodbye hugs, and she affectionately rubbed their backs. When it came time for our hugging exchange, she did something close to an air hug, barely touching me at all. It was a bold yet weird declaration, and I was stunned.
I played it off and kept it moving, but the wheels in my mind began turning. "Did I unknowingly offend her earlier or something? No that can't be it because I barely talked to her. Did her boyfriend hit on me before? Well if that was the case his attempts were blocked so that can't be it either." I couldn't wrap my mind around someone being that intentionally trifling, and I hadn't dealt with that level of pettiness since high school. So I just knew there had to be a method to her absurdity. I went over the incident in my head a few more times and then eventually came to my senses. It wasn't me. It was her.
Dear secure women, if you've ever dealt with shade, hate, jealousy, or pettiness from another woman - don't take it personal. It's not you, it's them. Self love is an antidote. And when people lack it, they do sick things. Mostly every negative thing a person has done to you had nothing to do with you, but everything to do with how they felt about themselves.
So to my secure women - keep smiling, keep striving, keep kicking, and keep shinning. Don't for one second question your character because of a nonsensical act from an insecure being. Be who you are to the fullest, and if that makes someone uncomfortable then so be it. That's not your issue - it's theirs.
Peace and Blessings,
- Samjah Iman